I typed up a LONG thing, but know some won't read it, because it was very long, and as much as fantasy plays a part of my life, I'm thinking I can type my feelings out there, and some woman is going to come and save for because of personal tragedies, as if this was some black & white movie. I don't know why I bother to even fantasize. Mechanism preventing me from going catatonic? I've had more than a handful of deaths since COVID, and the most important person to my life just passed. The only thing I wanted was to cuddle with a certain someone. Not a girlfriend, for I haven't had one of those, but the first woman I had sex with, and had would have off and on for 15 years. I wonder if imagination is good? I try to lay a platform (a movie in the background for example), and let my mind wander off. I guess I thought I would have a girlfriend by my 40s. Of course, I thought I was going to marry the first girl I saw on my first day of college, but that's too long of a story. Maybe it's best to be completely alone?
I used to struggle with the same thing. I wanted someone to come and save me so desperately. While sometimes that feeling is reasonable especially if we have had a hard life, it is ultimately unrealistic. Even if you met the most wonderful person if wouldn't be fair to expect them to save you. Nobody is coming man. You gotta save yourself. The good news is you can! And in my experience when you start to do that then more people come into your life anyway! X
