Small Town And In The Closet=Eating Me Alive

Hi guys and girls. I know im gay definitely not confused about that my problem is that i live in a small town and am fearful of people's reaction to the words "im gay" coming out of my mouth. This is the worst feeling in the world to have to put up that front every single day of my life. Im never happy but appear to be. Depressed as fuck, scared as fuck. What the hell do i do? I want to fuck/be fucked a guy/by a guy but never have...i have had sex with women but only under the influence of one thing or another. Dont get me wrong i enjoyed the vag but its not what i truly WANT/NEED...any words of inspiration or advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

You have pretty much answered your own question.

You need to move to a more relaxed environment with people who have their lives to live, and would not be caring to much about your intimate, sexual life.

Come up with a good plan, and get going. You have got one life to live...

KD

 

I live in a small town...an island with 1200 residents....... I am familiar with how fast word gets out if you aren't ''the same'' lol

dude...do not underestimate how far the gay rights movement has come and how accepting people can be these days.....unless you live in the heart of Baptist territory I think you should be fine....being gay is very mainstream nowadays........

good luck and hang tough.....

 

Thank you guys...i live in what "outsiders" refer to as pennsyltuckey. Closed minds and what not. And where i work is worse. There is one openly gay guy who works there and the things coworkers say about him are horrific, hence my dilemma. I wish i could come out but im surrounded by that type of people. The obvious thing is to move but its much easier said than done. A grin and bear it situation has become the norm for me but i've reached my boiling point. I feel like my only other option is to "opt out" and end it.

 

opt out and end it?....oh that's brilliant......I don't really feel sorry for you if that's all you got?.....you aren't looking for kind words....you are looking for pity.....i'm afraid my pity is all spoken for by people who attempt to fight insurmountable odds just to survive in this shitty world

as opposed to some gay dude who doesn't have the courage to come out so he would rather end his life


your plight is insignificant compared to the misery that many people go through

how about being a gay dude in iran?..now those fuckers face some serious consequences for being gay.......not being teased at work ???//how about being killed for it

opt out?.....just 'come out'......and btw....moving away from persecution is nothing new...its is just as easy as it is said and done

be a proud fag instead of a dead coward

 

...I agree...move to a more favorable climate...back in the 60s when I graduated from high school...people in your position moved to san Francisco...remember the old song 'California grass'...it was about RUE PAUL moving to cal. to be free to be himself...

 

Move somewhere else, or find a local gay or bisexual man who you can date.

 

I'm still confused though I'm a lot more open about being bisexual now.

 

Hi there
I live in a small town and used to agonise over this issue.
I wad lucky i had very good and true friends who i came.out to without any negative reaction at all.
They said to me that they dobt introduce themselves as Hi im Bill im heteroSexual so i didnt need to either.
At the end of the day dont stress about it. Putting labels on ourselves isnt needed.
Just be you

 

What gay guys don't realise, is particularly women, can tell you guys are gay, why worry? Be yourself! Life is too short!
If it helps, yeah, move away, but who is to say it's not just how you feel anyway?
Sorry if you don't like a straight gal invading your space here!
My daughter is gay, and I have gay male friends, so I have a little knowledge.
Be who you are, and the best you can be!

 

Same story as everyone else here mostly. As Morrow said, I'm sure a lot of people in my life know that I'm gay, but I'm sick of the huge white elephant in the room. I wish more folks who know would just come out and say it and give their opinions outright. I'd rather be given the opportunity to distance myself from anyone who has a problem with it, frankly, and that's why I don't go into it. I don't need to stir the pot. As for big town/small town, though... I don't know if I'd feel much more secure being out in a big city than in a small town. The only difference is that fewer people know you're name in a larger city. Now, being around a lot of LGBT/LGBT-friendly people gives you a security force... that's the thing. It reminds me of an episode of Queer as Folk where Justin would have gotten his ass kicked if it weren't for the fact that he and the rest of the main characters in the show were basically in the "gay area" of town on a busy night. Strength in numbers vs adverse force-multiplication.

 

I know what it's like to live in a small and oppressive town. Where I used to live, people were very judgmental and closed minded. It was a nightmare for me, being a flamboyant pansexual girl! I couldn't wait to move out of there and move to a large city where I'd be surrounded by culture and liberal people! Have you ever considered relocating? I know how terrifying being gay can be in a small town. My best friend was a gay male who was harassed and tormented daily. There is no rush for you to come out. If your not ready, then take your time. You don't owe anybody an explanation of anything.