smacking the cane the ruler the slipper whomping

Some parents just don't have any back bone. I have a next door neighbour and they have a daughter. We will call the kid, Girl A. The mother just doesn't smack her kid and now the daughter is running riot, talking about having sex and being very lassivious at the age of 13! Now, the mother wonders why her child is running riot. I believe that when the child becomes a teenager say 15 or 16 then she wil resort to drugs and get other bad influences etc. One can only imagine. Also she talks about how she belongs to a gang. I have seen some members of her gang. They look okey at the moment, give or take a few years and they will be quite intimidating. Saw this interesting thing on This Morning. Ross Kemp tells us that a lot of parents don't know where their kids are at night. I mean it is always down to parent discipline procedures that will ensure our kids won't fall fowl of the law and end up killing someone.

Personally I feel it is also down to the law. It softens up on kids but is as hard as led on adults. Ironically this thread has something common with youth of today 2007. There is nothing wrong with smacking your kids although I wouldn't advise on smacking two year olds. Wait till they are 6. Parents who try their best are not demons because they have to smack their kids. Infact parents smack their kids out of l-o-v-e and not out of pleasure. Parents can be cruel by not letting you use the Playstation or grounding you, but it is to teach you that there are boundaries and consequences. In other words they teach you an essential part of society. You will thank them later.

 

I was beaten more at school than by my parents, twice I was given 6 lashes of a cane on my arse, and twice i had the cane 2 times on each hand
my dad spanked me once and I must admit it was the beating my parent gave me that saved me from becoming a criminal. I felt that the beating I got at school was too harsh and I think if teachers were sanctioned to physically punish kids then it should be with something that inflicts less damage, like the hand. The cane is too much

 

I remember I had this teacher in the year 1989. his name was Mr Martin. Or atleast that was what we called him. I was at Bower Grove school in Maidstone Kent. He used to call those who misbehaved, "boobies". Also when we misbehaved he grabbed us by the ear and made us stand in the corner. Fortunately I didn't have to where a cone on my head. Nowadays this kind of contact would be fodder for media bedlam.

 

and we used to have to lick the middle of the road for our dinner, before we had our legs shot off, and were beheaded by our parents before bed, and it did me no harm either........

 

okay, i'm sorry, but there is a huge difference between abuse and a spanking. huge. unless you've felt or had the difference happen to you, i guess you wouldn't know it. a spanking, where you go to your room, wait for your parent in dread, and the perfunctory swats across your bottom are a huge difference from being punched in the face in a rage. HUGE. it's not at all the same as being tackled and smacked around. it's controlled, it's ultimately not realy painful. it's that agony of waiting, that knowledge of shame. it's the ultimate last resort for some that goes so far beyond the line that it needs to be addressed this way. i only got spanked a very few times growing up. i gotta tell you, it WAS effective.

and for those of you who want to say "it just makes them sneakier, they'll do the same shit but behind your back." well, so does EVERY OTHER FORM OF PUNISHMENT OR REPRIMAND. kai's bottom was only swatted once, she mainly gets time outs, but she's still a sneaky as every other little kid i've ever known.

 

Hitting ANYONE should be an offence...

It is demoralising and degrading...

My 80 year old father, last year, apologised
for smacking me as a child and admitted he
was wrong...

It was one of the most empowering conversations
I ever had....albeit 40 years too late....

I will never forget the feeling of being smacked...

Bloody horrible and totally inhumane!!!!!

 

i remember it, too. i still don't feel bad about it. okay, the being punched and slapped by my birth father, yeah, that's some bullshit we had to work out. but being spanked by my mother for putting my life in danger for stupid shit? nope. still don't feel bad about it. i consider it neither barbaric nor mean. no worse than time outs which i swear fuck my daughters up every bit as bad as my spankings did me. ALL PUNISHMENT HURTS FEELINGS. all punishment breaks their little hearts, you know why? because they're in trouble. all of it. and yes, punishment IS required sometimes. now we're living in a different world where spanking a child is no longer okay, and spanking a child in this world as it is now would make that child BELIEVE they were being abused. but that's all it is, a belief. but one i'd rather my kids didn't have.

 

Okay you reckon your controlled, but what about when you lose your temper, everyone does, your just leaving yourself liable to cross the line wherever that is.

One does not need fear to have control.

Liberal ponce
.

 

No sorry

Punishment is not needed at all with skillful
parenting

We dont need to slap or physically harm if
only we learn to LOVE.....

Remember love conquers ALL.....

How would you feel if a giant of a person...twice your size
with hands twice the size of your own whacked you on the
arse.......

Well you may like it? Thousands wouldnt...

I work as a healer...I have lots of SENSITIVE clients who hated
their parents for smacking them...

I am not alone in this!

 

had you read everything i wrote here, you'd know i don't spank at all. i spanked kai once and it was heartbreaking. i'd rather SHE was heartbroken than me, so now she gets time outs because we now live in a world where people would tell her she was monstrously abused. i think it's utter bullshit, but whatever. BUT that STILL doesn't negate the effectiveness and ultimate harmlessness of a ritualized spanking. it just plain doesn't. i mean, honestly, ANYONE can lose their temper ANYTIME. it's not just when you're spanking. i've seen perfectly rational parents lose their fucking minds out of the blue, screaming and shrieking because EVERYONE has a limit. you think those parents pitching a vicious fit in front of their children isn't completely mortifying and terrifying? but what, now parents aren't allowed to get angry at all? ever? sorry, sometimes shit happens and vilifying these people for being people is such holier-than -thou bullshit that it's incredibly aggravating. not everyone thinks staying stoned so you don't lose it is a good way to raise children. but i've seen those parents, too. and they think they're doing a better job than everyone else.

 

i'm not alone, either. i don't hate my mother. my mom's a great lady and was a wonderful mom. how many kids have you raised? skillful parenting my ass. i'm only lucky i have good kids. but i've seen any number of them that i think "wtf? smack that kid's ass."

 

That is you...

We are all different...

I have raised one very sensitive child....he has been
challenging and I would not dream of laying a finger
on him....

"skillful parenting my ass"......not a very respectful
way to speak to someone?

I can see we are on totally different pages here...just
by the way you speak with all the "wtf" stuff....sorry
I dont relate to that kind of communication tbh...

Maybe a "culture" difference...

What would be the point of carrying on this conversation...?

None!

 

btw, it's been my experience that those people who hate their mothers hate them for THOUSANDS of reasons that have nothing to do with a smack on the ass when they needed it. typically they're selfish and self-centered, too.

 

you are right. neither of us has related anything of value to the other, though culture has nothing to do with it, i think. we just are not on the same plane at all. with these dabates, no one's mind is ever changed. and both (including yourself, admit it) get pissed off. discussion is pointless.

 

I hope most parents who smack their children
wont leave it as long to apologise as my Dad
did....

It was appreciated, oh but how it would have
deepened our relationship if he'd have said it
right after it happened...

....instead of waiting for over 40 years....

....what a terrible thing the adult ego
can be

 

we all have ours. all it means, what happened between your father and yourself, your child and yourself, is that every child and every situation really is different. saying "skillful parenting" is the "way" is sanctimonious, limited in foresight, and pompous. there are so many different human beings, so many different children, attitudes, personalities, situations. unsupported working single mothers at home 24/7 with their children is a vastly different situation in all it's forms than one mother with one child, a job and perhaps support network of family and friends. i appreciate you have your way, which is something i've tried very hard to follow, but i have my limits and i HAVE TO WALK AWAY. this hurts both of my children, but when i'm the only one in the house dealing with them ALL THE TIME, shit has to be adjusted to ME, THE PARENT. i refuse to allow you to denigrate me for that.

as for losing my temper, i apologize, but i do have a vicous temper. this has required huge adjustments in my parenting style as compared to my mother's. i don't want to hurt my children, i avoid the situations where it would be a possibility. but i'm only one woman with two small, active chidren. don't TELL ME if i was just a more skillful parent it would be all better.

 

ahh, sexbanshee, i see you now. i've read some of your other posts. i totally get who you are now.

 

Yes my father had a viscous temper too...

He used to frighten the life out of me.....

 

my father, too. i forgave him long ago. he'd beat the shit out of my brothers, terrorize me and treat me bad. he wasn't cut out for parenting, man was he mean. HIS father used to beat him and put a shotgun to his head, you know, the alcoholic native american stereotype. but they were alcoholics, they were injured people. i figured if my dad could forgive his and love him anyway, i could, too. i think hating and holding grudges are signs of a bruised ego. just letting it go is the only way you can actually heal. i know my faults, i know my troubles. i can't stay mad at someone else for having faults, too.

 

Sorry for what you went through....eek...not
good hey girl? I so agree about not holding a
grudge though...it so embitters a person doesnt
it?

Do you know the irony with me...I like to dominate
in my sex life....do you....?

I mean the lover has to be willing of course...but its
as though its a great way to channel my pent up
anger...cracking the whip so to speak lol

and singing and dancing too

its just that I figure its better than hurting my
little honey...

...and some men really get off on it