slept with my friend's ex girlfriend

I met her while she was dating my friend and we too became friends. Partly because I was temporarily homeless and slept in their living room. I was always into her, but I never really imagined having sex with her or anything overly romantic.

I was friends with the dude, drinking buddies and I was compelled to distance myself from her because he cheated on her. My friend told me about it and made me promise to not tell anyone so that he could break up with her and tell her. He breaks up with her, falls into a harmful drinking pattern (hardly gotten out to my knowledge), traveled around a bit and came back to where we all met and I still live.


So She went and did her thing for a while when they broke up, had a boyfriend that I don't think she was all that into. we didnt hang out a whole lot, but we saw each other around often enough. She traveled around and recently came back to where we met with the plan of leaving indeterminately. We have been hanging out a lot since then, my friend is still out of town at this point. We don't hook up, for probably about a month or so until this week, after she tells me she is no longer planning to go back to where she was traveling and that she ended her relationship she had with another dude there.

I told her I felt weird about having sex with her, even though I really liked her. Next day she tells me she thinks we shouldn't have sex again, I told her I understand, but that I still really liked her. She tells me she is going to go hang out with her ex/my friend right after this and soon I get a call while I'm at work.

He leaves a voicemail about hearing of a death in my family. I text him back later, thanks, ask him if he wants to hang out later.

He meets me out back of work when I get off and we chill out there and drink for a hot minute. She soon gets brought up, he heard that she and I had sex. I say yeah, ask if he's mad about it, and pretty much ask him if he'd be cool if anything came about it. He said, through many words, that yes he'd be okay with it, but that he doesn't think anything will happen.


I want to keep pursuing this, because I really do like her, it's not a purely physical thing and we both feel like we are good friends. Plus she is super hot and I really liked having sex with her haha.

All is fair in love and war, but I've had similar shit happen to me in the opposite position and it kind of sucks big. Am stepping into territory that I shouldn't? Should I heed her saying that she doesn't want to be more than friends?

 

Yes, I would listen to her desires.

 

I kind of don't think that she truly wants to not sleep with me.

Maybe I am trying to convince myself that... I mean I'm not the greatest at reading people, far from. But I'm not the worst, either

 

Even if it is so, perhaps she's looking out for herself over the long run?
She might see it as an obvious complication.

 

Actually you could just ask her point blank what Irminsul said.

Ask her if she is resisting from fear or from genuine not interested in more territory, and that the past encounter was probably physically driven craving and emotional band-aid.

 

Neither of us plan on living in the same town in the near-run...so the complication of him is not too complicated.

She stated to me that he can't have any interference in who she sleeps with anyways. She doesn't seem too concerned with him. If anything I see her hesitation to furthering this as a reevaluation of me...

 

She's probably protecting herself. Getting burned in relationships tends to do that.
Sometimes we tend to shut down when we feel drawn to another - especially when we feel it may ask more of us and not end up where we would like it to go.
Best thing is to talk it out with real truthfulness and honesty, but that takes more than most are willing to open to.

 

you still post here? i haven't seen a purp post in years it seems like.

 

my boy purp pops in every once in a while

 

:coolgleamA:
Hey