slavery is still an issue

I'm co-signing with Maggie and Autumn on this one...

 

Me too. Your parents are taking care of you and totally supporting you. If they were truly horrible parents, you would have been thrown out. You need to realize that you probably have it damn good. Having to clean the house? How horrible! You need to earn your stay somehow. How about get a job and pay your parents rent?

Sorry, I have no sympathy. What are your plans for after the baby is born? do you expect your parents to help you then, too? It's time to grow up, Princess.

 

"it sounds harsh, but taking care of a baby is a lot harder.
she didn't say she was their personal slave, she said she had to make dinner and serve them, and clean the whole house.
what adult mother here DOESN'T do that?
I said that certain things should be taken care of by someone else because she is 8 months pregnant. But she does need to learn some responsibility. Sounds like she didn't take care of herself in the fact she got herself pregnant. She's lucky she has parents who will let her stay there. A lot of parents kick the girl out."

PLease, if they kick her out she can go straight to the police station and get those assholes thrown in jail for throwing their underage pregnant daughter out. Not everyone knows it but it's illegal! Plus, I'm not nearly as tired with a crawling baby as I was when I was 8 months pregnant! Maybe I'm extremely lucky cause my husband helps me(here's one adult mother who doesn't do everything herself!), but geez one kid is nothing like being pregnant. Her parents are taking advantage of her because they have her convinced they're doing her a favor by doing their parental duty! She said she has to do everything in the house... I'm pretty sure her parents could do something, it's their house too for God's sake. I have no sympathy for parents who kick their kids out, why on earth do you guys seem to think they have the right? I think it takes a real piece of shit to throw your kid out, you are responsible for your kid until they're 18. If you can't handle that, don't have kids

I'm totally all for princess getting a job once the baby isn't sucking out all her energy, to get away from people who think you should earn your right to live with your parents until your legally an adult. Geez pay rent before she's 18? Why cause she's pregnant? Are you for real?

 

She was adult enough to have sex and get pregnant. She needs to take the responsibility into her own hands.


When I had my 1st daughter and had to live with my mom for a while (like 2 months) you bet your ass I had to pay her rent. I had to contribute to the groceries, cleaning and maintainence of the house, and NEVER expected my mom to babysit for me, or change a diaper, or anything. It's called being a responsible parent. You can't expect everyone to do everything for you because you are pregnant. You're parents are working all day to provide YOU with a home and food. I'm sure they didn't expect to become grandparents so quickly. Yes, you should be grateful that they are taking care of you. If you don't like the situation, move your ass out.

 

Well lets not be too harsh. If I were 8 months pregnant, tired, and living with my parents I would likely feel the same way.

The reality of the situation, however, is that many women have to cook, clean, etc...while pregnant. If you were on your own you would have to all this, and it would likely be more diffucult because you would have to find a way to pay the bills too.

That doesn't mean that it doesn't suck, though. If I were you I would look for the silver lining. Not having to work full-time, AND cook and clean would be a little optimism for you in this case. Plus you are near the end of your pregnancy and soon you will have a precious little baby to let you know just what all the hard work is for.

Hang in there, it can't be easy to be a young mother, but you'll get through it. And keeping an optimistic and positive attitude will only help!

 

Well said, Sera Michelle

 

for all of you that wanted to know i graduated from school already. And i pay for my own food and i buy my babys clothes and everything. I dont depend on anyone to take care of my kid so know what u talk about befor u judge. And i appologize to those of u that i offended that was not my intention.but i am under 18 so i think that i shouldent have to do it all on my own. OH and i have my own insuance so all of my doctor bills are payed for . and i baught my own clothes as well im one maternity leave. so i do take care of me and my baby .

 

Thats good. I'm glad you aren't expecting mom and dad to pay for everything. And we only know what you tell us, so if you don't give us the whole picture, we have to fill in the blanks. Most minors are not graduates with decent enough jobs to pay for maternity leave, yet.

But, the fact remains that you are living in their house and you aren't working. You don't say if you are paying them rent. If you aren't, then cleaning the house and making the food is payment for that.

The reason why kids don't like their parents and their rules, is because if they did, they would stay home forever. I think this is a good indication that you need to get your own place.

 

"know what you talk about before you judge"

hey, you come to a public online community for advice and you're going to get all kinds. Don't be mad. We all think you shouldn't be doing some of the things you are because of how late you are in your pregnancy. But to say it is slavery sounded a little too dramatic. That's all. We're just trying to make a point that for the next 18 years you WILL be a servent to someone- your child. Just be prepared!

 

hi there,
i came on here to view some poems but spotted
this thread...

to be honest your parents should grow up to the fact you are now turning into a parent also..but they may still feel the need to treat you as a child,
all the house work etc....classic case for some young girls......

i know it must be hard, to grow under the pressure to behave as a family
member,but if its to harsh,look else where for help...ie
move out,,whats the father of the baby doing to help....
if nothing then im afraid he is letting you and the child down....

find your own feet,you are now in the adults world which is far
harder as said above....i know i have 3 chidren one born when i was
18 , it sounds young but if you can stand up for yourself
then your parents may ease off.......

good luck
and as said above..if you feel old enough to have the baby
then its time to break ties move on,as the adult.....

love npeace from saff

go find your self a life.beyond the parents help....ie living space

 

I'm tending to agree with people like Maggie Sugar here but...

...if your parents really are keeping you as a slave, get out now. Go straight to the police, or to a women's refuge. It's not common, thankfully, but it does happen. And slavery is a jailable offense, too.

 

I am not being snotty, just curious. How do you manage this? You aren't working, what kind of insurance do you have? One of my children is 18, and done with HS and working and going to college, and although she makes money, she doesn't have her own insurance, and certainly couldn't afford a baby on her own. Do you have a trust fund? (I am asking because some people do.) Without working, how do you afford all this. I know of no insurance, which isn't incredibly expensive, which covers maternity, not to mention pediatric care, available to non working teens. My thinking is you are on Public Aid? This would be "insurance" I guess, it pays your medical bills. If you aren't working how did you get insurance? I have no problem with this (and I doubt anyone else does.) I think there are things going on here you aren't revealing. None of my business, I guess, unless I am asked for sympathy, and I am not being told the honest truth. How do you have insurance and afford maternity clothes without working? It makes no sense. If you can afford all that you say you can, why are you still at home? My guess is your parent's certainly ARE supporting you (and will support your child when she is born) but it sounded better to look like you are being taken advantage of.

As for not expecting anyone else to "take care of" your child, what will you do for money after the baby is born? You will either have to work (and pay for day care or have your mom watch the baby) or you will stay home, and your parents will support you and the baby. Neither if these is "not expecting" anyone else to take care of your baby No one gives you money for staying home with your baby (I wish they did.) Unless you are enrolled on Public Aid. And if you live in the US, that will only last you 18 months.

Once the baby is born the expenses start. Diapers alone can break you (When I had my first baby, I was married, and my dh was working full time, and I used cloth, for a lot of reasons, but one of them was that my dh and I couldn't afford disposable diapers) I hope to Heaven you are planning on breastfeeding. Formula can run you at least $3,000 a year, IF your baby isn't one of the one in 10 who needs specialty formula. Then it runs you at least triple that. What about baby clothes? Even at discount stores, or second hand stores, they are expensive and kids grow so fast you wouldn't belieive what you will have to pay to clothe the child. Then there is medical care, even with insurance, you have co pays (my copays are $25.00 per doctor visit and up to $30.00 copay on prescriptions, of course if you are breastfeeding, you will have at least 66% less doctor and drug bills, but your baby will still need well baby visits and the occasional cold or crying attack that will send you to the clinic.) If you are going back to work you will need a breastpump, a decent one will run you at least $55.00 a month rental, or about $320.00 for a single patient use purchase pump. (You can't work full time with a battery pump from Babies R Us from Gerber, it won't help you.)

I feel for you. I really do. NO ONE feels like working when they are pregnant, but I am not feeling we are being told the honest truth here. I think your parents do a LOT more for you than you would like us to beleive.

Sorry for my honesty, but I feel emotionally manipulated here. I think I am going to bow out of this thread. I don't like being manipulated. Sorry. I hope, for the sake of your baby, you can grow up a little bit before she is born.

 

and in the next sentence, without even a breath being taken

So, which is it? Are you really "taking care of yourself" and your baby, or do you have a sense of entitlement that tells you you "shouldn't have to?" You got pregnant! It IS your responsibility, and if you DO want help, you have to give some back.

I have a strong feeling we are not being told the entire truth here. A 17 year old who somehow can "support" herself, and has insurance, yet still has to live with her parents? I don't like being emotionally manipulated, and I feel that is what is happening here.

Grow up, Princess, you are going to need to. Raising your baby is NOT your parent's responsibility, ask ANY of the young mothers here, they know.

Hey, if you were MY kid (and I have an 18 and 16 year old dd, as well as a 13 year old son and a 5 year old dd) I WOULD help you out, all I could. But I would expect some help, too. Unless there were serious health problems (say pre-eclampsia or preterm labor) I would expect my pregnant teen to help out to help with what my dh and I were doing for her and the baby. After all, it isn't your mom or dad's baby, it is yours.

I'm going to shut up now.

 

Even though you are under 18 you still have to pay the consequences for your actions. You are right, you shouldn't have to raise a child alone. But did you think of that before becomming pregnant, before becomming a parent? If you didn't want to do it on your own you could have waited until you were married and in a comfortable place in your life. But shoulda, woulda, coulda....you can't do that now. Now you have to learn to live with the reality of the situation.

I'm sure you are just here to vent your frusteration, and maybe get some pity and compassion from us. Pregnancy isn't easy. But you certainly have kind of a snobby, selfish attitude (not much of a suprise, since you are still a teenager) and it is hard to sympathize whith that. I can't imagine what it would be like to be the one providing a roof over your head, and have to hear gross over-exaggerations of slavery as a thank-you for my generosity because you have to do the dishes or cook. You would have to do that no matter where you are.

I good friend of mine (single mother) has 2 kids and a house to take care of (cooking and cleaning included), while working a full-time job up until 1 week before giving birth to her third child. She handled it much more graciously, and I bet she would have been more than thrilled and thankful to not have to worry about rent, like your situation. Of course instead of her parents providing for her, she had to provide for her mother during that time because of a bad car accident left her unable to care for herself.

Show some gratitude to your parents for being willing to help out their pregnant, single daughter.

 

it takes 8 or 9 months i would had gotten a abortion the first month number 2 if you are able to do those thing i would since now your parents got to put up with your dumb ass for getting pregnant ,give you a roof over your head ,food etc if you think your a slave now wait until the brat is born . you got 18 more years of slave work. as far as your health goes i might agree with others above but i would cut you just enough slack for you and your babie to be safe. dont like it move with your boyfriends parents see if they put up with your bullshit. you had simple choices cheap rubbers,pills even a early abortion now is time to pay your dussss

 

Why is it that you have a good enough jub that gives you maternity leave and insurance and your still living at home? Im just a little confused.....

 

you know, I was wondering myself how she affords all this. I work a full time job and I still can't afford insurance by myself.

In most states, once you become pregnant you are an emancipated adult and can receive free benefits and insurance. I wonder if this is the case here.

You should really be honest with us so we can help you if there really is a serious problem. We don't want to see a young woman abused especially if she's pregnant. We also don't want to upset you, but if the case here is that you just feel as though you shouldn't step up and take responsibility, you need to learn some lessons before you care for your child.

 

I think a lot of you guys are harsh. As for the people who said that you had to do all of this why you were 8 months pregnant so so should she that's just wrong. Where's the guy who got her pregnant in all of this? He's probobly carrying on with his life planning for college and here she is having to take on the role of motherhood and get shit from her parents and than have people like you pin a scarlet letter on her. It's not fair.

 

hey I love all sisters, but some things she said just didn't fly with me. I truley hope everything is ok for her. We all agree that she shouldn't be doing tons of housework while she's pregnant, but the way she complained gives an impression of immaturity.

It's not fair that he gets to carry on with life, but it takes 2 to tango and she has to take just as much responsibilty. If i were to get pregnant right now and my man left, I would be ok. The baby would be just as much my fault and I think about this every time I have sex.

It sounds harsh, but life is harsh. None of us want to see this poor girl abused, and we really hope that she talks to her parents to get the load taken off for now. We also don't want her having an impression that once she haves the baby, it will get easier. Sugar coating things don't make it better.

But I could see how some comments can be taken offensively. I really think no one meant to hurt her feelings.

 

but he should have to take responsibility too-it doesn't sound like he is taking on an equal amount of responsibility. People shouldn't have sex at that age because men SHOULD be the responsible ones yet girls mature faster than boys.