sister separated from husband

so my sister and brother in law are separated she had went on a dating website and has been talking too another guy this weekend we had met him at the casino and he did end up staying at my sisters house let me make this clear nothing happened with this guy I know because me and her slept in the same bed and he crashed on the couch bad thing is one of Eric's friends drove by the house and saw a truck parked out front early in the morning. do you think it's was wrong that this guy spent the night even though nothing happened? MY brother in laws parents saw us at the casino so I'm sure they said all kinds of stuff too eric making it sound worse then it really was putting all kinds of shit in his head. what a freaking mess I just found out eric is on one too Jackie said she deleted her dating account but I think she would like too see this guy again

edit my nieces were not home

 

Probably not a great idea to be having strange men come by when you have young kids in the house, but it is up to her.

Glad she got out before he beat the shit out of her any more.

 

It's kinda sketchy and kids notice this shit.

 

I think it was a bad idea. The guy could have had bad intentions. Could have been a dangerous situation.

 

kids were at there grandparents house with there dad

 

MY nieces were not home she would never have some random guy stay over with her kids being in the house

 

It's stll risky but not as bad.

I understand the impulse of 'I'm separated now lets party.' but until some time has passed, it just seems...tacky.

Why did the guy end up at the house, at all?

 

we had drove back into town and stopped at bar that is close by where she lives I guess since he had been drinking she didn't want him driving home

 

If they are separated, are they on the same page? Are they taking a break to evaluate their marriage and work on it or is this just the time frame before divorce? If they are on the path to divorce, why should either care what the other is doing (in a romantic relationship)? I think if you are going to divorce, both parties need to have some base ground rules (the same) when it comes to new romances in regards to the (physical) safety and (mental) health of the children.

If the soon to be ex is the aggressive jealous type, she needs to be careful. I agree it was a poor choice. She needs to start making better choices. This stranger could have killed you both (or raped then killed you). You don't have live in paranoia, but educate yourselves so you don't get into a bad situation.

 

I usually mind my own business......have never time nor the inclination to sit as judge and executioner for someone else's life and their decisions and all the little variables, that no one else is privvy to except the parties involved directly......

I just hope "whatever" works out for you Jennifer and those you love....

 

They are seperated. It is really none of his business what she is doing now as long as it doesn't effect the kids. Sounds like this guy needs a restraining order. She can see who see wants to, sleep with who she wants to and live her own life now.

 

I can't judge you.

But my view is that you really should already be "divorced" before you starting the dating and seeing other people again business, because if you are still operating under the "seperated" label and you start seeing other people, it creates a bad grey area in communication not only to the current partner, but to your children, and in the law as well.

It's during this grey period, where some of the most damning evidence can be used to legally during nasty divorce proceedings as well...my advice is steer clear, and finish one task before you start another. (also nasty divorces make children suffer as well)

 

I agree it might be too soon, maybe not the best choice having a guy stay over she just met. my sister has been controlled her entire marriage I think she feels like she can breathe and let lose her husband is not aloud too have contact with her until he is sentence he has demotic violence charge against him I worry she is not making the best choices I'm not gong too tell her right from wrong. just wanted other peoples thoughts I found out he is on a dating website too

 

Want my honest feedback?

I think your sister will find herself in the same situation all over again with another guy and the cycle of DV and alcoholism is just going to repeat itself.

 

I think it's safe too say there marriage is over with. he crossed the line hitting her then all the nasty names he called her and my family and the way he acted getting a rested a salt on a cop plus resisting a arrest

 

Umm if you're no longer with someone.........you can see whoever you want?

 

I'm totally not trying to be a jerk, I'm just curious. Does your sister know you post so much of her life on the forum? I would be extremely not ok with my sister putting all my business out there. Just something to consider.

 

The soon to be ex sounds dangerous. The OP's sister needs to be careful about what she's doing. Guys like him sometimes have the attitude that "IF I can't have her/control her, then no one can" and it leads to death.

 

LM2014 has the right points: that was a dumb move in general. Even dumber if she is hoping to repair the marriage. And no, the ex is not and shouldn't be expected to believe nothing happened.

 

she is not getting back together with her husband and he is not aloud too see her if he does he goes too jail they have been only talking threw text and it's about the girls nothing ells