I donb't even know what to do. Today, I was talking to Awbrey on msn and she just said she didn't want to talk and that she was sorry but she's really really pissed right now and "doesn't want to take it out" on me. She suffers from depression some of the time, though is usually fine around me. I don't like pestering her and all, but I sort of feel like a mom; I really want her to feel like she can talk to me, but she never does (unless it's just our regular conversations). I love her so much and hate to see her in pain, but I can never actually find out what's bothering her because she refuses to tell me anything. God I'm just so worried about her right now, I feel like crying Anyway, thanks for letting me write that down, it helps a bit.
*Gives Sunburst a BIG BEAR HUG* Just a suggestion: The next time she says she doesn't want to take it out on you, tell her that you WANT her to take it out on you. Be a sounding board and be willing to take whatever she throws at you. Just don't take it personal. She thinks enough of you to not want to hurt you, so just remember that when she's screaming in your face. If she keeps it bottled up, it's going to continue to hurt her. I know from first hand experience. At one point at rainbow, I cried like a little baby, all of these feelings I kept inside all of this time. I found a place to let it all out and it did wonders for me. Maybe it will help your friend.
Thanks Well I've told her several times that if she ever need sto talk or anythin, that i'm always here for her and such. But she never wants to talk to me about it, and I feel bad about wanting her to talk to me specifically (selfish), but I do want to listen, I want so much to know what's bothering her and what's going on in her life...
sometimes just saying that isnt enough. i also have friends that suffer from depression, and sometimes its hard to get them to trust you enough to talk about it. i think monosphere's right - next time she's angry tell her talk it through. maybe its that she wants a distraction from her unrelenting negative thoughts... or maybe she needs encouragement that although she's in this crazy world of up and down emotions, she's still beautiful to you and plays a large part in your life. tell her all the positive things about herself. it might help....
I feel that. My...object of affection/best friend/kinda-girlfriend/something!...whatever she is (her name is Maribeth, anyway) is the same way. She's slipped in and out of depression and even hallucinations for the past couple years and I have been her "psychologist" of sorts. Let me give you a serious lesson from my experiences: people cannot be fixed within a romantic relationship, do not try to fix them. Their issues are their issues. There must be safe and wholeness of both individuals, or the relationship is called codependence. I'm not sure if you've heard of the theory surrounding it, but it consists of one person trying to fix the other - the relationship becomes parasitic and neither grows, but you feel addictively close. It goes downhill from there. Be a listening ear for her, but balanace a certain amount of listening time with sharing your own emotions - even if they're not as dramatic or sad. Good luck with that...it's extremely hard not to lose sight of your own whole person because you feel selfish, but it's for both of you.
