Should they stay or should they go?

Discussion in 'Dreadlocks' started by sea of grass, May 4, 2007.

  1. sea of grass

    sea of grass Member

    OK, so to most people hair is just hair, but to me it holds energies of past experiences and spiritual strength. This past Thanksgiving I decided to give up the hairbrush, give up fancy schmancy hair products and use one all-purpose soap, and give the dreadlock thing a go. They're just now to the point where they really look like dreads and they're looking pretty awesome. The thing is, I'm wondering if maybe I've picked the wrong time in my life to have them. Things seem to be coming to a head at work, and I am really getting to the point where I'd like to start the hunt for a new job, one with better pay and benefits if possible, but definitely something less stressful on my body and my mind alike. The only other jobs in my college town I could possibly find WITH dreads would be in the foodservice and retail sector, which I'm desperately trying to get away from. I could possibly do a phone job, but that's not a permanent solution to me. I'd ideally like to do something where I'm helping improve lives, like some kind of social service job. The thing is for those kinds of jobs you often have to look professional, and unfortunately if you're caucasion with dreads, there are a lot of negative stereotypes that go along with it. It isn't right, but it does exist :(

    Also, these last couple years of my life have been full of extreme up's and downs, emotional torment and stress. Do I really want the hair that I had during that time sticking on top of my head? Do I need to keep those energies around? If I'm trying to move forward with life (and I am), is hanging on to my hair going to help? I remember when me and my ex first broke up (now going on two years ago), the first thing I wanted to do was cut all my hair off, but everyone around me told me not to, that it was soooooo pretty and I should keep it. Looking back I wish I'd gotten the shortest haircut possible. I think the symbolic act of the shorn locks of my lost love would have helped make for a cleaner break...sound silly? I don't think so...

    I just don't know why I'm agonizing over this. It's just hair, right? But dammit, I like how I no longer have to brush it 8 zillion times a day, how I only have to wash it once a week and it stays clean! It's so easy to maintain, and it's gotten me to focus less on the material and more on the internal. Also, I've seemed to become emotionally attached to them. I know if I cut them off so soon without even letting them mature, I'll be sad about it, at least for awhile. In fact, the thought of letting them go is making me tear up a bit. It's more than just a look or a hairstyle, it's a part of my ongoing efforts to live a sustainable lifestyle, and it's intensely personal for me.

    So I'm kind of agonizing over this...and it sucks. Many with dreads say that when they cut their dreads off, everything changed for either the better or the that's another thing that I'm sort of scared of. Those who've said those things have said that when everything was going well for them while they had dreads and they cut them off, things got worse for them after they cut them off, and vice/versa. Things have been a mixture of good and bad, but I wouldn't call my life horrible. Then again, things could definitely improve. So, I kind of really don't know what to do. Part of me really doesn't want to, but part of me knows it might be a good decision, and it's not like I couldn't try again in the future, once I'm in a more stable part of my life (after college and in the career field I want to go into, which is more dread-friendly, etc.).
  2. HippieAdrien

    HippieAdrien Member

    i don't think anyone is going to be able to tell you whether to keep them or not. if you feel bad energy or anything holding you back, you might get rid of them. but i really don't know what to say
  3. whatever you choose will be the right decision.
    you have wonderful reasons for having dreads! especially the one about sustainability. on a deep level, thats how i think of my dreads too, but never thought to say it like that.
    after reading what you wrote about your dreads, i would be very sad if you cut them. only you can know if its the right decision, but first try thinking of them as an inherant part of yourself, not a representation of the bad energy in your life. try a different radical change that makes you feel free.
    hope that helps :)
  4. HippieAdrien

    HippieAdrien Member

    oh by the way, your sig pic is awesome
  5. egle

    egle Member

    nice pik, Its sad when hair affects a job, My m8 had to cut his shoulder hair off because if he dint he was not have that job, What ever is best for you, and im sure you can find a good job without minding about your hair, keep looking around
  6. knotdirty

    knotdirty Over the Rainbow

    I've been told on here that hospital/social service type jobs aren't always opposed to dreadage.

    There IS a way to look nice with locks...I saw a guy today and he looked totally amazing. His locks were down to the small of his back, and he had them pulled into a low was amazing. They also had bits of fabric and beads all over, but he didn't look unprofessional or dirty at all. It's all about how you carry and present yourself. When you go in for an interview, try dressing up a little to make up for your locks. Pull them back, maybe put a scarf over them or something.

    I think that locks look the most professional pulled back into a bun.

    Y'know, a lot of what makes peoples reactions negative is a person's attitude. If you think that you're going to be considered sloppy and trashy, that's probably how they'll see you. If you do a little grooming and feel good and confident...well you know.

    :) Good luck with whatever you decide! I agree with wanderin, I'd be sad if you got rid of them. You've come so far, yet they're still so young! You should be enjoying them, not worrying.
  7. Silver Shadow

    Silver Shadow Member

    I agree with them. Hair is a part of you, I mean you wouldnt chop off an ear or other body part to make a break would you? So whats different about your dreads? If you love them, keep them. ;)
  8. sea of grass

    sea of grass Member


    These are my dreads, and I cut them off last night. The decision ultimately came to me because like I said before in this thread, I need to physically let go of that part of my life that happened while growing this hair - it was the last physical ritual needed in order to move on. I don't want to lose the memories from that time in my life forever, so the memories and photos I will hang on to, but it didn't feel right to continue carrying it around on my head.

    I will continue to use Bronner's soap and tea rinses for my hair, because I never want to go back to using the gloopy shampoos and conditioners of my silky straight hair before dreads. There are chemicals I never want to touch my body again, therefore I will avoid them indefinitely.

    Here is my hair now. I feel like a little pixie.


    And I WILL have dreads again, once my life gains more stability and my soul gains more wisdom. Thank you brothers and sisters for your kind words.
  9. knotty rye

    knotty rye Member

    i'm glad you made the right decision for you. :D
  10. im glad youre happy and made the right decision :)
    they were lovely, but you look really beautiful now and i bet you feel jsut awesome
  11. FairyKissed

    FairyKissed Member

    Sea of Grass,
    Wow, it seems like our experiences are very similar. I just chopped mine off last weekend on a complete whim. Although they had only been growing for six months, something just didn't feel right these past few months. I think that when I started them I didn't really know much about them, such as the size I wanted them to be, proper maintnence techniques, and many other things. All I knew is that I had wanted them for a looooong time. I loved them to death and never thought that I would ever cut them off, but they just got to out of hand and I really let them go. Some were just getting way to heavy and they never layed right on my head because I didn't seperate the roots evenly at the begining, and I was getting these strange bald spots. Then to make matters worse, I tried to bleach them and everything turned yellow and they got so brittle that they looked fake and like they would fall off. But in the short time that I did have them I have had many positive and negative experiences, but it is the negative ones that I felt like were sticking to me. My husband and I are broke, in debt, I haven't been taking care of my body at all and been pretty reckless with my behavior. Just since last week I have felt and energy shift. Things are looking better for me, but I still dearly miss my dreads. So I will probably remain dreadless for the time being, or at least until I can get my life back on track and build up my confidence a bit.

    Your "after" hair looks just like mine! Everyone keeps telling me I look like a pixie and that is suites me well. Now all I have to do is wait for my hair to grow back out to start my next, hopefully better dread journey!

    *~*~*Hugs to you*~*~*
  12. sea of grass

    sea of grass Member

    Thanks for your kind words, everyone...Fairykissed, I can definitely relate to you on some of the reasons for letting go of the dreads. I never attempted dying them or anything, but things just didn't feel right. I am also sort of feeling somewhat of an energy shift, like my life is going to start getting better - a part of my life that I was carrying around with me physically is going to now be returned to the earth and the universe, and no longer follow me wherever I go...if that makes sense. And yes, one day I will have another dread journey. This one showed me that I can maintain them, that I do like them, and how awesome they can be, so they will be back one day; just this time, I will wait for a better time.
  13. Scorpius

    Scorpius Member

    Not to be rude but, how the hell is there energy in hair i swear most people in this forum is weird o_O *leaves*
  14. lol! there just is ok? :p
  15. oilymoily

    oilymoily Banned

    they speak truth. I felt such relief after getting rid of my dreads for the first time, following an unbelievably painful year full of death and depression... once I'd reached my limit my body started telling me this, got a nasty scalp infection, and so when I ended them I felt so much lighter. sea of grass, I'm happy you made this decision, it sounds like it was the right one for you :) and you look beautiful. peace!

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