Should I tell my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Bisexual' started by Borgy, Jan 8, 2005.

  1. Borgy

    Borgy Member

    I'm bi-sexual, well at least thats what o think 'cause i feel attracted to both boys and girls. Right now i'm with a girl and i'm confortable with her and i love her, and i trust her too, but i don't know if i should tell her about my other relations with guys or even tell her i'm bi-sexual.
     
  2. Ann-Akim

    Ann-Akim Member

    Its a very interesting dilemma... may be your girlfriend likes bi-sexual guys... who knows
     
  3. Borgy

    Borgy Member

    Yea i know it's interesting! lol Maybe she likes but what if she doesnt? I really like her and i want to be sincere with him but maybe i ruin everything by telling her. The major problem here is that if i don't tell her i'm not being completely sincere with her, and most important, i'm not sincere with myself if i'm not capable of addmiting the truth.
     
  4. Ann-Akim

    Ann-Akim Member

    try to tell her, i see youre a very honest boy. but if she will be shocked or something tell her it was a joke... Im a bad adviser...
     
  5. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    Tell her at a really amusing time, like at a big family meal or something. That way if she really doesn't dig it and ditches you, you at least get a funny story out of it.

    Girls tell a lot of lies about how they feel about bi boys. If you tell her, she'll probably get really clingy and think everyone you know will be trying to fuck you (and because you're a bi, there's a fair chance she'll be right).

    With giant bombshells though, I generally find the best bet is to just carry on as if you already told her. So don't say anything until it comes up, and then act like you told her ages ago when you were both a bit drunk.
     
  6. Ann-Akim

    Ann-Akim Member

    yeah!! that's right!!!good :D
     
    J2433 likes this.
  7. greenthumb

    greenthumb Member

    You should be always be honest with your loved ones. Imagine she finds out your bi from another person, that would suck! I love it when women are bi its erotic and cool, but when men are bi that really scares the shit out of women. Not only do they have to feel threatened by other women, but now from other men. Good luck and remember always be honest.
     
  8. RxHEAD

    RxHEAD Member

    You should tell her if you already haven't.....Honest....she may FREAK OUT some or alot, only she will at least know. Your mind will be more free. peace
     
  9. peace057

    peace057 Member

    I was kind of in the same situation... I had been dating this guy for over a year and hadnt told him that I was bisexual. All of a sudden one night we were talking about things that we wated to um.. try (if you get what I mean) and he just asked me flat out if I was bisexual. I was honest and I dont think ive ever made a better decision in my life. Just telling someone was wonderful. BUt he took it kind of hard and thats become one of those giant pink elephants in the room that we dont talk about. When it does come up, I can tell that my boyfriend is worried about it but not to the point where were going to break up over it, you know? So in the end, it was worth it for me!
     
  10. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    This is the problem. You can love someone, but that means you don't want to lose them. A lot of people (and it is pretty much only women) want their partner to like them and think of no-one else. Some girls would regard a guy admitting he thinks about guys in a sexual way as a threat to them, not because he's bi but because he's saying "I think about other people sexually".

    I can't say I approve of that, and if you're seeing someone who polices your thoughts you should probably leave anyway. But there are a lot of reasons why someone wouldnm't feel comfortable telling their loved one something like this.
     
  11. Disarm

    Disarm Member

    Just bring it up in a convo, not about you being gay but for example about HER liking other girls, ask her if shed say make out with one or whether shed ever thought about it (don't freak her out just have one of those sexual talks about stuff youd do and not do)..if she says no act a bit suprised and say something like "Of course I'd try it"...just warm her up to the idea. One of my lines (when being slutted onto by girls who asked whether I was bi) was just "I go out with james, it doesn't matter to me whether you're a boy or a girl, because I'm not interested". It makes people think you're all mysterious and wondering whether you did like them and whether you are bi. Leave it ambiguous, its fun that way.
     
  12. cerridwen

    cerridwen in stitches

    you should absolutely tell your girlfriend... if the two of you truly love each other or care for each other, you should be completely open with each other about everything... keeping things from each other is deceptive...
     
  13. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    It's not necessarily deceptive. If you met someone who told you they were bisexual when you met them, what would you think? A lot of people have preconceived ideas about bisexuals, and don't consider them as potential mates capable of commitment. I'm not saying don't tell her full stop, but if you like the person but are still getting to know each other and aren't completely secure in your relationship it could fuck up a good thing.
     
  14. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

    Hola...yo creo que deberias decirle, ya que si ella se entera de tu bi-sexualidad por otras fuentes, puede pasar que ella no confie en ti.
    maybe it wont be such a big deal, after all bisexual guys/gals are hot!
     
  15. BrokenHunny

    BrokenHunny Member

    yeah honesty is really the best things-- it sucks but yeah
     
  16. BrokenHunny

    BrokenHunny Member

    yeah honesty is really the best things-- it sucks but yeah
     
  17. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    The right thing isn't always the best thing, the best thing isn't always the right thing. You really really need to be careful about it. Obviously you should tell her, but you need to know if it's the right time.
     
  18. atropine

    atropine Member

    not fun for everyone else!!
     
  19. Married John

    Married John Members

    Sound her out but don't lose a relationship over it
     

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