Ok, well, I initially met this girl, Maribeth, who I'd been infatuated with physically (and somewhat emotionally based on a certain aura of mystery) because of the fantastic news that she thought she might be a lesbian. There was a period of a couple months or so where I really thought we were going somewhere romantically, I mean we were (and still are) so obsessed with each other it's ridiculous. We connect on such a deep level it's amazing. I always had this gut feeling, however, that she wasn't gay...she's so rebellious, thoughtful, curious about everything...I thought it might just be a passing question. We never really addressed being "together," it's just been a naturally flowing, unique bond. But I convinced myself that it wasn't a passing question and let myself completely fall for her. Then a few weeks ago, she tells me she's straight and it was indeed a passing idea. It's not like KNOWING she was COMPLETELY straight would have prevented me from having a huge crush on her, but it might have smoothed out the process. I can't explain it, it's so weird. I'm not heartbroken or even a little sad or anything. It's just that we always talked about lesbianism as a political thing, or a social condition...l'm clearly a lesbian and she clearly thinks it's interesting, but not as it pertains to the two of us. Yet she seems dependent on me for everything emotional, beyond friendship. We're attached. I think she's so beautiful, smart, funny, sexy...simply spending so much comfortable time with her watching a movie on the couch or something is such a rush, and it seems like telling her I actually DO have a strong sexual attraction to her would completely throw away that comfort. So why not just enjoy it the way it is, even if it's not 100% honest?