I have been married for over30 years to my high school sweetheart. When we were first married we had a great sex life. We had our first child about 2 years after getting married. After our child was about 8 months old, she took a job with a federal agency that employed mostly women. After six months on the job I began to expect she may be seeing a male co-worker. I didn’t make a lot out of it since I had no real evidence. On a few occasions she would go shopping at night after coming home and feeding our baby We live in very small town with only a few clothing stores. One night, shortly after she left to go shopping and also going to see a coworker’s new baby, I decided to follow her to see if she actually went shopping. Our child was riding in the car with me sucking on her bottle. Once I got to our small town’s shopping center area (about a 5 minute ride from our home) I drove around looking for her car. It was nowhere to be found. So I road past he co-workers home and she wasn’t there either. I continued to ride back and forth from her co-workers home and back to our shopping center. Still no sign of my wife’s car. I began to boil over about this time so I went back home and wait for her to return. While waiting for her return I called her male co-workers home and his wife answered. I made a little small take with her a then asked her if her husband (whom I knew) was home. She said no that he had going out with a friend (a male and I knew him as well) look for a tool he had lost while working on a job site. I also called her other female co-worker and asked her if my wife was there or been there. My reason for calling her was that I need to ask my wife a question regarding our baby. I quickly told her bye. A little while later that evening my wife walked in as through nothing had happened. I was so upset I don’t remember if she had a shopping bag with her or not. About an hour past I could no longer wait to confront her. I proceed to I asked my wife how was her co-workers new baby. I don’t recall what she said, again being so upset. I asked her where she had been and she said to the places she told me earlier she was going. I then told her what I had riding around looking for her but her car was nowhere to be found. I then told her of the two phone calls I made. She then got very upset and start4ed to cry. I then pulled her into our bedroom and started to undress her and examine her privates. I can’t recall if she had male sperm in her or not. My wife finally calmed down and confessed she had been riding around the two times I went looking for her. She swore she had not been with another man but needed some time to herself. I have always wanted to believe her but to this day I can’t forgive her for lying to me as to her where about that night. After that evening, I never could catch her with the other man, if indeed she did meet someone. Since that evening a few other thing have cropped up that made me believe she was having an affair with this guy and maybe for several years. However, never any real proof. I would like to hear from some of your ladies regarding your thoughts about my situation.
no you shouldn't save the marriage. nobody should ever marry their high school sweetheart. especially not small town people; it's like giving up before you even start.
Dude! You stripped her down and examined her privates? I'm sorry, but that's a little too invasive and degrading. Even worse if you're wrong. Honestly, I don't think the marriage is worth saving, partly because no one should have to experience the humiliation caused by you to her body and safety. Seems that she has just as much reason to distrust you as you do her. If anything, you should be grateful she stayed with your sorry ass after such a demeaning act.
Old post, but apparently something about their dysfunctional marriage seems to have worked. It takes all kinds. The stripping her down and checking her private parts reminds me of a scene from Memoirs of a Geisha. I don't know how many spouses would stand there and allow that kind of humiliation, but I sure as hell wouldn't. Nor, would I subject my husband to it. If the distrust is that deep, just get a divorce.
