Should I never marry, never have kids because of this...

On August 11, 2011 I had horrible Lasik surgery in attempt to correct my myopia. It resulted in triple vision, smearing, starbursts and I get really nervous when I have to talk to people in indoor lighting because light smears across their face and I can't pay attention to what they're saying. I want to go out with the guy I'm dating but I squint a lot due to reflectors on car headlights. Lately he said that I don't make him feel comfortable because I seem to stumble a lot. I am doing my best and I can only imagine a lifetime of disability and making him uncomfortable due to my bad eyes. Should I let him go and never date or marry to save him and others from being dragged down by my disability and depression and bad eyes? I am so depressed about this. I can't drive well, can't sit down to a candlelight dinner because the light smears in all different directions.

 

You don't make him feel comfortable? Fucking lout...

Don't lose hope girl, it's not so big a disability that you should deny yourself a chance at love and companionship.

 

I think those options are very extreme for your disability. I don't think your eyesight is any reason to never marry or have kids. If this guy you're seeing has a problem with it then you need to drop him. Is the same one that won't cuddle from your other thread? I feel like he's probably not the one for you if there are those kinds of issues. You will find someone that doesn't make you feel bad about it. Are there any corrective surgeries that can be done?

 

I like triple vision, starburst and light smearing everywhere...and when everything sounds like womp womp womp

 

^^^i thought of visuals from tripping as well, but how about having that every fucking day, all the time?! i doubt that would be fun.


sparkle, i would say this is definitely not a reason to never marry. maybe this guy is not the one for you, if he can't deal with the fact that you don't see well in certain situations. i'm sure there are guys who wouldn't care about such things.

that's an unfortunate thing that happened to you though. you have my condolences.

is it permanent? any other possible treatments?

not that i'm a huge fan of suing...but can you sue the lasik place?

 

Still recovering from corneal grafts to both eyes plus an extensive refractive LASIK session.
I know all about your eye troubles. I also suffer from extreme star bursts rendering night time driving out of the question. During the day I cope fine, in dark rooms not so well. When my pupil is small I get best vision but lately the glasses have been coming out so I know that my left eye which is where my vision comes from is getting worse over time. My right eye is still unstable, I don't even bother trying it look out of it. It's amazing how well you cope with one eye, and 50/50 vision results out of it.

I'm not sure star bursts can be corrected though, I read after LASIK that it's generally pupil damage, it happens to people, but yeah, faces get lost really easy for me too and while I dint squint for best vision, I frown like a motherfucker.

 

You have a pretty mild disability. Not trying to belittle it or anything because it sounds really annoying to live with and its obviously making you self conscious, but in the grand scheme of disabilities it shouldn't have any effect on your ability to fall in love and have kids.

It honestly just sounds like the guy you're dating is being rude and messing with your self esteem, which is always a sure sign to cut your losses and run. When you meet someone who really respects and cares about you he'll always make you feel beautiful

 

The fuck. She's not responsible for his feelings (he's making himself feel uncomfortable, right?),

but he's responsible for hers?? And is supposed to make her feel beautiful, all the time? WHO.IS.TEACHING.YOU.THESE.FELLACIOUS.ONE-SIDED.CINDERELLA.SHIT.ON.ICE.SKATES.AND.POPSICLES.TART.


:| :iamwithstupid:

 

Mel never said that, you just twisted her words and applied someone else's words to your demented interpretation of reality to boot.

You're insane, maybe you should think about getting yourself castrated so you aren't so frustrated. You really come across as though you could end up a serial killer or rapist if you aren't careful.

 

OP, having a disability can be challenging, but it should not keep you from finding someone to share your life with. Have you considered getting a dog as a companion/guide so that you are able to be more mobile with confidence? Not being able to see clearly is unnerving, but it isn't something that destines you to a solitary life. At least it shouldn't be.

Instead of wondering if you will end up alone, perhaps you should be asking yourself why you even want to date someone who complains about your visual difficulties (or makes you worry about making them uncomfortable because you stumble). Lose him, and find the person who will hold out their hand, and tell you when you need to take a step up, or down....and catches you when you stumble.

 

Does he know about your disability? He may just not understand / be aware that you have an issue (say if you're self consciously hiding it - not sure because you didn't say so).

Its definitely NOT a reason you can't get married or have kids. Whoever falls in love with you will love you for YOU (all perfect flaws included). Don't give up.

 

oh look who's back.

in a healthy relationship both people make the other feel beautiful, but you've obviously never had a healthy relationship so I wouldn't expect you to know that.

 

I can't say that you should dump the guy you are dating and find someone else yet, however if he still feels/acts the same way after you have dated for a long time, I would advise you date someone else. Maybe he is not mature enough to know what relationships are about or what is important in a relationship yet(actually he definitely is not if your stumbling a little is uncomfortable for him). Are there qualities in this guy that might make you think he is worth investing more time?

Why not date or get married? If you enjoy being with someone and they enjoy being with you, that's all that matters - if not with your current boyfriend, then perhaps someone else.

 

no.I haven't. 'cuz a girl heads for the hills every time I show her any vulnerable attention. She reads her vagina signals (as if a man thinks his boner is the noble decider of a quality girl) and heads for the hills over god knows what. doesn't respond to texts. why do I even bother. What kind of respect do you have if you want me one moment, even say let's hang out, then FLAKE or stop the entire process prematurely? All over.. a text? some clues as to who I am as a whole person that you apparently can read without ever actually getting to know me?

NO sorry that's just shit etiquette and some standard that women keep applying to all men on what's "healthy." It doesn't work one, freaking way, yet it always only limited to do so.

Cut this F###ng language out. Maybe it's telling a non-violent person this crap that would even strew them towards it. No. Not even close.

 

For the millionth time - the girls are not responding to you because they don't like you, not because the 'game' is rigged against you. It is you, not womankind, who is at fault.

 

What did your text say, just curious? Maybe I can offer some insight as to what scared the girl off if you tell me what you said to her.

 

Cut my language out? Who the fuck are you to say that to me.

Based on your posts -

You're one of two things. A frustrated and confused homosexual, which is perfectly ok.

Or a budding psychopath. Which is definitely not ok.

 

And here's some advice. If you are that interested in a girl. Pick up your phone and dial her numbers then hit send. Not sending texts. Texts have their place but don't be a fucking pussy. You want something? Go get it. Don't give some halfass pussy effort then blame all women. Do you know how many dudes probably texted her that day?

Grow a ballsack and stand apart.

 

kokujin, i would wager that something about your personality scares girls off.

maybe it's simply coming on too strong, the girl isn't ready for a serious relationship with a guy who seems needy or jealous.

or maybe they feel like you are gonna stab them and dump them in a ditch.

either way, you should try to cool out a little.

 

He's creepy and desperate. I'm not even a chick but I could see that in the text thread he posted awhile back.

If only he'd learn and not get all butthurt over one chick who blew him off because he acted like a freak.