Should I hire an expensive hooker?

Hi there,

Just to get the obvious out of the way - yes, it is legal where I live; no, I'm not going to pick up some street trash; yes, I know how to protect myself; pricing will run $500/hour and up.

Facts: I'm male, 30, and never had sex. Reason being - for the better part of my life, I was obese. At 27, I woke up, got my act together, and dropped most of that weight (I'm still working on building up a nice six pack, though).

Problem - as a result of my obesity, I don't have any experience when it comes to sex, since I never even bothered approaching women in high school / college. I don't have a problem approaching women now and they do find me interesting (decent looks, sufficient income and quick wit can do that) - but I struggle to build up the confidence to close the deal, even if she's willing. Instead, I get too hung up on what she'll think, how I will perform, what she'll be expecting from a guy who, at 30, is expected to have had enough women to acquire the relevant experience. The end result is that I end up turning her down to avoid disappointing her and (more importantly) embarrassing myself. Needless to say, I am not looking for a woman for a committed relationship - but I might be interested in more than just a one-night-stand.

Solution - take a few hookers, pay them enough to screw them in any way I want, pay extra for indulging whatever fantasies watching porn has led me to, until I'm confident enough to go after the real deal. Since I'm paying her, there's no risk of self-embarrassment, since her feelings and opinions would be quite irrelevant.

For the sake of a logical and coherent response, please disregard risk of infection - I'm not dumb enough to go bareback, and I already have latent herpes around the mouth area (had my first outbreak in 30 years recently).

Assessments?

 

I think you should! Have fun. Life is so short, you should enjoy it.

And report back, please, so I can enjoy it by proxy!

I wish you a super time.

 

I don't think that women care as much about your lack of experience as you might think... if they like you they shouldn't hold it against you. It's better to have your first time with someone you actually respect. If you're doing alright for yourself it's probably best to find a nice girl who went through the same things you did and then take it slowly.

And hookers aren't reality... they're sort of like jacking off but instead of doing it to your hand you're doing it to a person. You might be able to tell your head that you're just doing it for experience but getting everything you want/not caring about the other person can go to your head and it can be like a drug... and it might make you feel good in the short term but in the long term it just feels empty.

 

No. Place an ad stating your statistics--height-weight-etc- and mention that you're a 30 year old virgin and would there be a woman interested in teaching you about sex. ( I know an add like that could be posted in the Eugene Weekly and I suppose there are others). Save yourself some money and use it to take the woman you chose on a very nice date. And there WILL BE women who will respond.

 

GC, I agree with scratcho, lots of girls would be will to help you out. Some women would love to get a cherry. They would be much more caring and understanding, than a prostitute.

 

I think if you simply just applied yourself you could probably find it for free.

 

I think hiring a hooker to get experience is fine, but this also isn't a bad idea

a hooker isn't really going to guide you (or hey, maybe some do offer that service, what do i know?). If you found a woman who knew about your situation and was willing to teach you, you could really learn a few tricks and gain some real experience.

 

I think you should just watch reruns of TJ Hooker and spank the monkey during Heather Locklear scenes..

 

if you're just looking to lose your vcard then yes. otherwise hookers are a waste of time and money.

 

Craig's List.

 

You just haven't found the right woman - someone you can get close too and trust.
Someone who loves you for you.

 

Hi there,

Thanks a lot for the feedback. It seems the majority of the posters agree with the need to have some kind of an experimental, temporary woman - the question is whether I pay her or find one through different means. Frankly, I prefer paying since it takes her desires and preferences out of the equation and allows me to focus on learning the ropes, so to speak (plus making a few kinky fantasies come true!)

 

I think you'll only be learning your own ropes, not the ropes of how to be any good in bed. If you're concerned that you're going to disappoint a potential lover, hiring hookers so you can disregard their feelings and desires seems pointless. It will teach you nothing about actually satisfying a woman, just the mechanics of fucking and how to ignore a woman's feelings in favor of your own. You might enjoy yourself but you're not likely to learn much. 90%+ of being any good in bed is about being able to read your partner's subtle signals and tailor your actions accordingly. Some of those signals are even things they don't know they're doing. I'm skeptical of the hooker route being beneficial to you.

By way of disclaimer, I have no experience with hookers. Maybe they are experts at giving completely realistic intimate feedback and never faking anything.

 

Right, but that's what stopping me the most - uncertainty over my knowledge of the mechanics, beyond the obvious essentials. The idea is to build up my confidence to the point where I have comfortably have sex with someone I give a damn about, compared to a disposable commodity (e.g., a hooker).

Kind of like learning how to fly - you need to spend X number of hours in a flight sim before anyone lets you pilot a commercial plane.

 

I see. Well, I get your logic and I do understand wanting to build confidence in a sort of controlled "training" environment. I'm not sure that there aren't any other factors that may contraindicate the hooker method, but unforeseen downsides will be the risk you take in almost any situation. I still think any girl worth having sex with would welcome the chance to help you through whatever awkwardness there may be in the beginning. But it's your call, and I'm not in your situation. I hope all goes very well for you. Let us know how things turn out.

 

Do iT!!

 

Your thinking about this way too much! Put the money in your pocket, have a smoke, a couple drinks, and find a good looking hooker with a heart of gold to give you your first time. Fantasies and role playing come later.

If nuthing else, tell her to give you a rub down with a happy finish.

And don't fall in love with the Hooker!!!!

 

Honestly man i wouldnt i think a woman you meet and start a relationship with would love the fact your a virgin.

Also i wouldnt worry about lack of experience in my opinion sex is something that comes natural not a learned skill.

 

I've reconsidered. Hire a cheap hooker and give her a hundred extra. NOW you'll get some personal attention.

 

If you want to be more confident about having sex with a real girl that really want to have sex with you as a person I'm not sure visiting a hooker is the way to go.