Should I be ashamed for my heavy alcohol use?

I promise to myself that I will give up alcohol but I can't give up alcohol.

In Turkey, alcohol is really expensive. If I keep drinking like this, I will be broke in a few years.


2 years ago my mother died and I really feel like life does not have a meaning. I am bored when I am sober. Nowadays I drink once 3 days and to the point where I get stone drunk. STONE DRUNK.

Should I be ashamed for that?

 

I don't think so.

How much do you drink?

 

No you shouldn’t be ashamed as long as you’re not neglectful of your responsibilities, as long as you don’t abuse others while intoxicated,
and as long as you don’t drink and drive,

 

That is the exact same philosophy I have to justify my own drinking problems adn uyo won t sver see a probjklem witth mw

 

I started drinking at 9 am today.

 

Actually so did I..

 

I'm sorry you lost her. Do you want to say what happened?

It depends on what the shame does. If it helps you quit drinking, then it's a good thing. If it doesn't help you quit drinking, or makes you drink even more, then it's counterproductive.

It sounds like you are self-medicating for depression brought on by grief over your mother's death. Therapy or other treatments for depression would probably be a much better way to deal with this.

The first post in this thread has some information about treating depression
Treating Depression and Anxiety

I hope things can get better soon

 

Grandeur, it does sound like your struggling with depression.
Everyone at some point loses a parent, and it changes your life, makes you look and realise your own mortality.. it's like a light turns off in you, the true umbilical cord is now broken when it's a loving mum.. but you will, and can go on. You have to.
You have to break a habit... I know what Turkish coffee is like, only Turkish men will drink it with water.. so introduce say an English coffee, or American.. but make it a decaffe. By tea time you will feel like you are drinking alcohol head ache and tired.. try it for 2 days.. you be surprised.. keep going, then see life start to enter again, people, the outside, then you can start life again.. you can think straight, make plans.. try it!.

 

No, you should not feel ashamed.
Don't judge yourself negatively.
But yes, it sounds like you want to stop. Good advice above from morrow and newbie-one.. Sorry I can't really say more. Do you have any kind of support for alcolism in Turkey? Like AA meetings?

 

I don't think ashamed is the right word, as long as you arent a belligerent drunk and you dont mistreat people when you drink
But long term heavy drinking will catch up with your body eventually and can cause some serious health problems so if you're thinking about quitting it would definitely be better for you in the long run
There are support groups and programs..I have no idea what's available in your country but it would be worth looking into

 

Is there some reason you were staying in Turkey?... Liquor is Dirt Cheap in the United States and it is a much better place to feel ashamed

 

That you wonder so much about this is already telling. You sense lack of fulfillment.
It's not primarily about feeling ashamed or guilty towards others, but towards yourself. You want something else and sense you probably won't get it this way.
Yes, it can be righteously put you're likely denying yourself something better, which is kind of a shame.

 

It's not easy to move to the US from Turkey. I think he has better chance moving to your or my country. But it would be kind of pathetic to do so primarily to get more affordable booze (weed on the other hand )

 

Not ashamed. But I think you realize it's not healthy and sustainable for you.

If you're not drinking for fun, you should't be drinking.

 

How old are you? How long have you been drinking heavily?

Half a bottle of spirits a day for more than 5 years, get to that point, and it wont matter anymore. You'll do enough damage to your brain it will seriously impair the rest of your life

Saying stuff like you are bored when sober is incongruous with anything about your mother

People will tell you that you are suffering from depression because the idea of a selfish reason for such self destructive behaviour, and that it may be dormant in all of us, scares them

If you really have been a heavy drinker for a while, then you are an addict first and foremost.

Not some bullshit deoression or anxiety or any other excuse that stalls you from facing you are an addict

 

i thought alcohol wasn't getting you drunk anymore?

yeah, i don't know about shame. but drinking all the time usually makes your problems even worse. so you drink more. it's one of those cycle things that are best to try and avoid.

 

should and shame are kind of alien concepts, but its not real smart though.

i really think you could get more pleasure out of what you spend on it.
if you don't deny your imagination, you don't need to try and replace it with mind altering substances.
at least that's my experience, which is probably a minority here.

listing the problems probably won't mean anything, or tell anyone anything they don't already know.

the same age looks ten years older on alky. that might be ok if you're less then 20,
but looking like you're at death's door from old age when you're only 40, seriously isn't cool.

and being seen by everyone as having some kind of self control instead of not having any,
feels good to me, and is pretty much the only thing that matters what anyone else does think about me.

 

As mentioned before the fact you're asking this suggests you may already suspect you have a problem. But then you said " I can't give up alcohol".
Yes you can !
Addiction of any kind can be beaten but often it requires the support of those who've done it along with professional help.

In my real life community we recently held services for a long time resident prominent citizen and businessman who had been practicing sobriety for 60 years . He was 90 years old at the time of his death and had become notable for his extensive work with persons suffering from addiction, providing both personal and financial support throughout the years. He dedicated the remainder of his years giving all that others might be free as he was from the clutches of addiction. It became his driving purpose in life, that of saving others.

I believe addiction of any kind can be overcome but the answers lie within your own heart , seek them .
Believe it in your own heart !

 

I'd say you should feel "concern" over your heavy alcohol use.

 

instead of creating barriers for ourselves, there are simply other things more gratifying and interesting.
nearly all of which center around some kind or another of creating and exploring.