Should Gays Come Out?

It's a shame they have to feel the need to hide it in the first place. Too bad we can't stick bigots in the closet for a while.

 

Ive never understood the need to Come Out , as it were. Why is someones preference or private life anybodys business , its not like anyone should need approval over who they choose to be with.
Usually, though , I knew already before my friends even Told me they were gay , or bi .
Just be happy with who you are.

 

this forum is visited by 135K people a day. I think that is everyone ..

 

but proportionally hate crimes against us are greater in frequency

 

I am glad that I am gay, and I would not want to change that for anything. There is every reason for you to love yourself for the things that you are naturally endowed with. Being proud of it though takes (self) love to a different level altogether.

KD

 

Greater frequency than women as a whole? Nope.

 

I found an entries for "Quiltbag" in online dictionaries going back to 2011. How have I not heard of this acronym before?

 

pretending it does not happen does not change the facts

 

people aren't ''a gay''...you shouldnt go around using ''gay'' as a noun like you did in your title....very sure many gay persons don't appreciate it

should gays come out

the gays are taking over

do you know any gays

how many gays are in the thread

see?...it sounds shitty

 

posting in blue doesn't change the facts either........

link your source....should be easy....please don't quote ''flaming homo news'' or ''the stamplicker'' because those 2 are kind of anti everything not gay

 

Negative.

And that was the point I was trying to make. Not just in total numbers, thats obvious if whichever set is a minority. But also in terms of percentages for each of those minorities.

Women the world over, are far far more likely to be the victim of homicide committed by the partner or member of the immediate family, somewhere in the vicinity of 80% of the time. Men the world over are far more likely to be victims of homicide than women, around the order of four times more likely and most of the time at the hands of other men.

Its being gay itself that ironically is part of the protection. Gay girls, not that they dont sometimes kill their partner, but thats far far less likely to happen than if they have a male partner.

Gay guys are just that much less likely to get involved in gangs, drug and especially alcohol related crime, or just doing stupid macho stuff that gets them killed...thus they are less likely to end up victims of violent crime.

You mentioned Russia, current publicity would have you think its bad being gay in Russia. Go check the homicide rates for russia over the last couple decades, its far worse in Russia if you are a drunken straight guy with a gun

Its just simply not true that those rates of violent crime are higher for GLBT than straight people. Its going to sound like I'm ragging on straight guys, but they commit most violent crimes, they themselves, their wives or girlfriend suffer at a higher rate simply just cos they are there. Even with that QUILTBAG, MTF trans seem to cop it at a far higher rate than and all the other minorities, also the only category that will mostly want a straight boyfriend

 

Count Me In......:seeya:



Cheers Glen.

 

^ this ^

 

I've worked with gay people at most jobs I've had and none of them really "came out", people just knew they were gay. I had a boss who called his boyfriend his roommate and never really talked about it, I had a coworker who constantly talked about getting married to his boyfriend and having kids, I worked with a lesbian couple who took me to their favorite gay bar a couple of times. I guess its up to the individual the degree in which they're open about their personal lives and the same applies to straight people. I don't think its a big deal either way.

 

i don't tell unless there's a reason to tell either. i agree what's been said that it isn't other people's business who i sleep with.

in one of the current places i'm involved with professionally i don't think anybody there knows about me. i don't interact with the people there outside work so it doesn't even make any sense to tell them about my private life. i don't tell them about my favorite movies or books either, much less about my sexuality.

in another place i have several good friends but it's kind of gotten past that. they do assume i'm straight and i haven't corrected them. sometimes i do think i should. but that's because one of the guys is actually a very good friend and i feel a little like i'm leading him to believe something that isn't true. this is a subject that starts coming up once you become closer with someone and at some point it starts feeling like you're lying. so there comes a point in a friendship where i feel that i do need to ''come out'' to the other person. it's a very individual thing though.

if anybody asked me about it, i would tell the truth. but by large most people's default position is that everyone is heterosexual unless they're obviously homosexual in some way. and sometimes those ''obvious'' ones aren't even gay. people are still funny in assumptions that way.

 

its too bad gay persons are subjected to such harsh realities in todays society as opposed to groups that really deserve targeting , ridicule and bullying

like vegans

 

Coming out isn't just about words: It sometimes involves actions. And I can tell you that even in a large city like Chicago, two gay men holding hands in public can provoke quite hostile responses from folks that believe in more traditional (whatever the hell that means) values.

When a close friend told me he was totally worried because he had been exposed to the AIDS virus (a former lover of his had recently died from complications due to AIDS), I instinctively reached for his hand, and told him that he need not worry so much until he was tested (he was afraid to get the test).

This happened on the "EL" , and I was appalled by the looks of disgust I saw in so many faces of the people that saw me holding his hand. 2 dudes actually called us faggots as they were leaving the train. This only made my friend even more distressed than he already was, so I think that it is a tad naïve to believe that most people don't care if somebody is gay or straight. Fact of the matter is that most people don't care as long as it is kept in the closet.

But fuck that: If I have a LGBTQ friend that is in need of support (not sex) in a public place, then I'm gonna do it. Hell, straight folks do it all the time. So if it's really not such a big deal, then why can't LGBTQ do it also? Seems totally sad (and double standardish) to me. I'm just sayin'.

QP

 

this isn't the case with just gay guys. it's two men holding hands, no matter if they are gay or not. straight guys acting this way get looks of disapproval as well. one straight man supporting his straight friend in such a manner is the same. in a way, it's certain expressions that get labeled 'gay', actual sexuality of the persons involved notwithstanding.

straight women holding hands, though, no problem. it's tied to the whole ideal of masculinity. men are not supposed to need holding hands, much less hold another guy, gay or not gay. we are not supposed to show emotion like that. and, on average, men do tend to hold such things inside. therefore, on average you do not see guys expressing themselves in such a manner. so when they do it's rare and more opinionated people will quickly jump to name calling. which is a shitty thing to do. and which is uncalled for. we shouldn't, in the 21st century, still be so taken back by men expressing more emotion.

it's the whole package of having their masculinity brought into question by it. everything falls under this one thing. liking other men, showing emotion, buying flowers, wearing pink....depending on where one's limits are they are gonna see some of it as men acting in a feminine way, which is something that is not tolerated. even i judge guys on such a basis. but it's because i have a lot more gender-neutral area, than some others, that i do not see guys holding hands as feminine. a guy wearing make up however, feminine. and distasteful. i like men and i don't want them to act or look like women. i don't want that association in my head, seeing a man and associating him with a woman. that is disgusting. and this is precisely where the problem is. for other people two guys holding hands might draw such an association already, even if the two are heterosexual (which they have no way of knowing), this association is made and it's looked down upon. because, men are not supposed to be like women.


i agree with the statement. but i think some of the boundaries have shifted, or were never there in the first place.

 

/facepalm

You're completely missing several things that all of us are saying.

We've given you rough numbers to show what we're talking about. We could easily get real specific if that's what's required.

What are your numbers? What are you basing your statements on?

Opinion isn't fact.

 

Great points, MW. But is "acting" like a woman such a bad thing? Especially when it comes to feelings and emotion? I think men (straight and gay) might be better off being less afraid of their feminine side. There's much to be said for that. Big time.

QP