Should Bisexuals Come Out Of The Closet?

I can't speak for gays because I'm not gay. Some people look obviously gay. Others want a lifelong partner of the same sex.

But bis. I don't think they should come out, unless they plan to be with one lifelong partner of the same sex.

It's nobody's business. It just leads to unnecessary vulnerability, bad boundaries, and risks potentially causing your loved ones distress when ultimately, you could just settle down with someone of the opposite sex anyway.

I used to go to a bi women's meet up group where some people would announce that they were "out at work." WTF? Why the heck would your co-workers need to know you're bi?

Even if someone came out to me, I wouldn't come out back to them. I don't even know them. My friends know who they are.

If you're a bi man there's the added stigma of people saying things like you're just flat out gay, you're too sexual, you're diseased, you're on the down low, etc. Why bother? Trust is sacred. Not everyone deserves it.

What do you think? Should bis come out?

 

Samantha, thank you.

I've never heard someone else have this idea of not coming out & keeping ones personal sexual life personal. You've said it best, I completely agree with you.

Take care,

 

I agree 1000%!
If I were to settle down for a serious relationship it would be with a woman. I love women...and mentally ill always feel that way. However...physically...I'm most definitely Bi and I enjoy the sex with other genders....be they male, female or transgendered. It's all about the giving and receiving of pleasure to me and I see no reason to restrict myself by being concerned about cock or vagina; I enjoy either or both.

Coming out...nope.
I have no reason to put myself in that position. I don't live within the LGBT community so I have no reason to express to the world that I need to be accepted. I'm comfortable with my life and sexuality and besides...what I do and who I do it with, in the confines of a bedroom, is no ones business but mine and the other person involved.

 

Some people say that we could just boil it down to the level of behaviors, so you don't have to "hide who you are." But even if it is who you are: why does the whole world have to know who you are?

 

I think it's all about your comfort level. Im bi and I did tell my parents that when I was dating a woman, but even though they are both very open, I think they both assumed it was a phase and still do. It doesn't help that I'm dating a guy now, but it's not really something that I feel the need to push on them. If I end up dating another woman in the future, it will probably come up again. Most of my friends know as well but it's something that just came up randomly in conversation for most of them. It's not like I "came out" to any of them really.

I'm sure the gay people reading this hate us all right now. We kind of have it easy.

 

Samantha, you nailed it perfectly!
Some things are for public consumption and other things are not. Just because we live in an age of social media where everyone seems to be privy to everyone's private thoughts, actions and info, it doesn't mean it's always appropriate. What I'm into and what I do in private are my own business and no one else's unless I say so. I mean, I don't go and tell my co-workers how things went on the toilet before work. It's personal!

 

I still don't understand why gays should even come out. I don't get coming out. It just doesn't register any sense to me. I don't tell anybody anything but I don't hide it either. I call my partner "my partner" in front of her to others. If they have to work out what's going on then I dunno, they can develop their own thoughts. I don't think I've ever come out to anyone. My friends all knew I was dating a girl. I told my parents I was dating a girl. I don't think that's coming out. More so, just like.. I'm dating a girl.. that's it. That's that. There's nothing more. Anything more is just the burdens of someone else.

I wasn't even aware you could come out as bi. In a world where even men are admitting attractions to other men, and the percentage increases of the number of people expressing desires for the same sex, I just didn't know you could come out as bisexual. It's almost normal. Or is normal.

I always feel like there's too much pressure to announce to everybody what you are and it's just not necessary. Who really needs to know? Who's business is it really? if you have the need to disclose this then you're going to be subjected to public opinion. They have every right to express their opinions too and at the end of the day, I feel that, you're just making yourself a target for it if you have this need and desire to tell everybody.

 

I get kind of turned on telling people i am bi or talking about my experiences

 

In the spirit of looking out for people who actually have detrimental issues with their sexuality, I find that comment a little distasteful.

 

Who said i dont have issues

 

I am a 69 year old happily married man who in the last couple of years started having sex with men. There is no possible way I can come out to anybody it would destroy my family. So I agree that being bi, especially for someone my age, should be kept a personal and private affair.

 

There is absolutely no way this is a yes or no answer!
What suits one person may be completely unacceptable to somebody else, for a whole variety of reasons.
There is however a perfectly simple answer to the question that most people should be able to comprehend; live and let live!

 

I don't really understand any of that... but I'm going to agree^^

 

I totally agree with you Will.
It's YOUR decision based on what's best for YOU.
At the risk of repeating myself, we should all 'live and let live.'
Welcome to Hip Will.

 

For the same reasons as Will George
, I will choose to keep my bisexuality private. No one need to know. It would destroy my family. I am very careful for those reasons.
I have lived in a relationship where sex is always last, on the back burner. In every other aspect she is a great wife. It's just that after 35 years I want to be sexually satisfied. By now I know it won't happen at home.
So I do what I do in private.

 

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Great post WM.
Those last two sentences are really quite hard hitting. I for one completely understand why you will keep your bisexuality private.

 

Live and let live!