Short, Short Story Contest

great story WS I think you will win

based on your story I might enter with

God made adam and gave him quite a big cock, when God made eve she could not help thinking of adams big cock, It was so big, so eventually she slit its throat and made a roast dinner.

 

ok, heres mine


"THE END"


how amazing was that story?

 

They say brevity is the essence of wit. So an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Pakistani, a Jew, a Chinese dude, a Japanese girl, a Cretan philosopher, an Australian dentist, a Montserrat tailor, a American housepainter, a Peruvian albino llama farmer and a Javanese tax inspector walk into a bar, and the barman saysohshit.

 

hmm I dont like that one its too predictable and you mention the race of these people which is going to mean that 10 million complainees will refer to you as a fascist racist wanker - when infact you arent but ya know what i mean - liberalist pc fascists will jump on it

 

Rapscallion
​

Your stomach aches and your muscles twitch. You sacrifice your reason for another whirl.
Packing the world down your gullet. Snorting like a wild boar.
For the satisfaction of nothing.
Thinking you could rest at ease, but you lose your hairs and grease up your pores.
And it was all for Chamomile Tea.

 

Idiots deserve to look like idiots. I'm not running a fucking charity.

But yeah, that was just meant as a crappy joke, plus I'm not sure if Montserrat even exists anymore.

 

I woke up, got off the settee, brushed my hair, and drank some tea. Looking up I noticed there was hours till the inteview, and I wouldnt need a coat or hat. I caught the train. Saw Suggs from madness, shouted over -" YO suggs" ! know what he shouted back? "I'm not suggs, you bastard, are you takin the piss"?.

 

Last letter by Samhain
With shaky cold hands, she dipped pen in ink. A last letter is nearly always painful to write, she had heard, but she just felt numb.
Signing off, sealing it shut.
She had been told she could be a great writer and now she would never know.

 

Nice work Samhain, I like that you captured the esence of the letter without getting all angsty and cliche.

"Sweetheart?"
"That was Chuck. He said he just got home and found his house on fire, you said you were sure he was inside."
"I was sure he-"
"Save it" I cut her off. I told her I was going to see Chuck, make sense of everything. I went to the train station instead.

 

too bad the contest is all over :-(

 

its a good idea though, I'm not quite sure I understand your last one
S

 

gun powder residue on his hands. the sting of it in his eyes. they laid there motionless. the wind blew. once four friends now blood running together. to think it all started as a friendly game of cards. none would have guessed that they would all have folded. should have called his bluff. too late now.