Sheep Jokes

A sheep goes in to a bar and orders a pint of a lager. Barman says, not tonight you're baaah'red..

 

Did you hear the one about the guy who got married in Tescos? He got a bag for life.

 

I don't know any sheep jokes.

 

Did you hear the one about the guy who shagged a sheep in Farmfoods? It wasn't a sheep it was a bag of frozen peas and he got frostbite on his bellend and bunged in a cell for the night.

 

Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
Somebody threw a sheep at her.

 

I'm down with the sheeple.I'm just a poor little ba ba.

 

What happened when the sheep crossed the road?
A herd of other sheep also crossed the road.

 

Did you hear about the sheep that cried wolf.

It was no help to it in the abattoir.

 

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A giant sponge

 

Why do sheep eat marshmallows?

Because grass tastes like shit

 

Knock knock. Who's there? Sheep. Sheep who? Sheep poo, gross!

 

How many sheep does it take to shag a sheep.

You're a fucking perv fa wanting to know.

 

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sam Smith
I'm not in

 

Policeman says to a little Girl " what's your dogs name " little Girl Replies " Porky " Policeman says " that's a funny name for a dog Why do you call Him that ?" Little girl says " Cos he Fucks Pigs !! "

 

Why did the lamb call the police?

He had been fleeced.

 

why was the sheep convicted of murder?

he was the black sheep of the family

 

Why do farmers wear wellies?

You need somewhere to put the hind legs.

 

I Am Truly Shocked To Hear Heather Speak Like This.........Hip Has Been A Very Bad

Influence In Her Life I'm Afraid......



Cheers Glen.

 

I know!! A stronger person would give it up but alas I am unable to kick hip.

 

Why do sheep eat grass?

Nearest kebab shop's miles away