Hi, Just looking for a bit of help, ive been with my gf for about 5 years and we have always had sex quite regularly, so no problems with the amount, just the quality. I always try and make it enjoyable for her, so try not to come to quick, but she just says she wants me to come quickly as thats what she likes. Now to me that sounds like she wants it over and done with, which i have told her, but she says thats not the reason. Now i have made her come a few times, can probably count on one hand, she says she finds it difficult and that shes not even bothered about coming. I just get feeling she is just saying these things just for my benefit. To be honest im just not enjoying it, yeah i get my rocks off, but its just boring, maybe it is for her too , i dunno. When we are having sex she doesnt do anything, rarely goes on top as she feels self concious. even though i tell how good she looks. She certainly would ride me, which i would love, although i havnt asked, she just likes me to do all the work. She is quite submissive i suppose and likes me to take control, which i do but i just dont get any feedback, sometimes the odd sound, but it doesnt sound enthusiastic. She gives me amazing blowjobs, but on the other hand she doesnt like me returning the favour, it just makes her uncomfortable. We have had an argument about it, as i just get frustrated with her lack of enthusiam, shes not very experienced and i think finds it hard to talk about. Maybe its my fault, maybe its me thats the problem, im starting to worry that we are not compatible, but i suppose thats something i shoudlnt have left until now to worry about. I do love her, but this really bothers me. Anyone got any similar experiences or just some advice on where to go from here?
I hate when first time posters post like this because often it's just a trolling event. Try getting to the introduce area first and get to know a few peepes. Anyway, obviously she is shy or might not really like sex, sad but some women could totally live without it and still feel happy in a marriage or relationship. You might have to get her talking about it and see if there are things she might like that you both haven't tried. The chances you are both not so compatible are there and that's too bad but there is reason to try a little more because you said you love her. Have you pushed for things she might not have been ready for? Is there any reason she has been turned off? These are questions you could even ask her to see if she is afraid you will want something like that again. Some women would rather rush in hopes her guy doesn't get to that point again where he would ask for something she didn't like. And is there anything in her past she remembers with sex actions. Sad but some people, men and women have a scary history that clashes with normal sex in the adult years. This could diminish over time but sometimes professional help is required. Hope this helps.
She doesn't like it and she's doing it only for you. With time, she'll stop bearing it. I'm just guessing, based on what you say. The reasons why she doesn't like it? I don't know. It could be orgasms elude her and she's given it up.
A comment I read once: only boring people are bored. In your case, the inverse may also be at play. She's not orgasming. Probably feels like you "need" it, and feels pressure to have one. She could explore on her own, without your presence. You could set up a night that is all about your partner having an orgasm, not you. After five years, sex drives settle into a connected phase, rather than a stick to you frenzy. This can happen as soon as six months, depending on the signals in the brain. Take advantage of this, and have long pre sex caressing and cuddling sessions. Make your partner want you so much they are twitching for you.
