Sharing My Girlfriend - Advice Needed

So, I have had a fantasy for a long time about my girlfriend having sex with another guy. I have discussed this with my girlfriend over time, and lately things have escalated more and more. We discussed having a threesome with another guy, and both feel it could make our relationship even stronger.

She has been talking with a friend of hers, and exchanging sexual messages with him for a few days, and we have discussed this. Since I have seen the messages they have sent each other, my desire to have sex with her has increased dramatically, and my orgasms with her have doubled in intensity (and double the mess!)

One of the things I have suggested is that if she wanted to have a night at a hotel with just them 2 first of all, then this would be ok. My thoughts were that it would allow her to be sexually comfortable with him before we had a threesome with him. She said she would only do this if she had my consent and if I was ok with it. She said that if I was ok with it, then she would love to have sex with this guy. She has also stepped up her game with me and become even hotter in bed since this all happened.

The advice I am seeking is this: Has anyone else been in this situation, and gone through with letting their girlfriend have sex with another guy, first of all when you are not there at the same time? If so, how did you feel at the time you knew she was somewhere with the other guy fucking? And did you have any positives/negatives after it happened?

This is a big thing for me, and so far my arousal levels have gone extremely high since they have been talking, but I'm unsure if it will get much higher b letting them actually have sex, with me not being there?!

 

Being the sloppy second guy for years, i found it erotic to hear about her adventure and finish her how she liked versus letting the guy feel he is doing agood job and doing what he wanted with her. I was not involved with her as i would have attachment issues.

I have read and watched many sex theropy sessions involving open relationships and the only ones i heard that work is a don't ask don't tell policy or a poligamy situation where she maintains two separate relationships or you have a threeway relationship but since its her friend suggests she has feels for him and my be bad for you later.

 

For it to work you need rules.
1. Only strangers otherwise you risk her getting into a relationship until you are certain. Took us about 6 months and 5 partners before we chose someone more than once. Once you have a regular you can trust you can play with sloppy seconds etc.
2. Safe sex
3. Ground rules. I rarely watch but am often in the same house so I can enter her afterwards.
4. You may feel a little jealous at first but I channeled it into my sex drive and it's pure pleasure now.
5. If at first you aren't sure, do it in stages. I saw my wife kiss, be undressed, give wanks and blow jobs before she went the whole way.
6. Love your woman even more. That one is easy, I've never been so close to her and turned on by her. Love her more than ever now.

 

So we have set ground rules set about what can happen.
I have felt a little jealousy but it seems to just make my sex drive for her even higher than ever, and the sex with her is fantastic. I also feel closer to her than before, even though again I can't put my finger on why that is!

 

I don't know if anyone can put a finger on why that is. It's definitely not for everyone. But if it works out it can lead to some of the hottest sex you have ever experienced!

But that is only my opinion.

 

What about the other guy? The one she has in mind and has been talking to is someone she's friends with. She seems really
Keen to fuck him, and she says he's got a big cock too. Should I be wary at all, even though she has been up front about wanting to spend a night with him?

 

We have done this many years ago, but we laid down rules. 1 was never with friends. It took nearly 2 years, for her to break the ice

 

So the guy she has suggested she said she's known since she was kids, but she's never slept with him. She's expressed a desire to have sex with him, and has told me this while having sex with me. She said the thought of it gives her an intense feeling. I thought this would be ok, but you think maybe not then?

 

Ithink youre in a bit of trouble. Youre in deep. The wheels are in motion and she wants to fuck him. You back out now she might just do it behind your back. If you let her go through with it i think it will turn into something more between your girl and this dude. I have zero experience in the matter though so i may be wrong.

 

That's true. If I say no now, she may do it anyway, but she has also told me she would only do it if I was happy?

 

Using a stranger is no guarantee of emotional relationships not forming. In fact, not already having a stable personal relationship may make it even more likely (since the woman starts out in a situation very similar to a "first date".) There can be advantages to involving a friend instead. With, a longtime friend, there's already a stable relationship in place that everyone is comfortable with. Once sex is added to the mixture, if done correctly, you can end up with an equally stable "fuck buddies" relationship. If the friend is a long term friend of both the man and woman initiating the threesome, it's even better. Everyone is familiar enough with each other to talk about any issues that may come up. If, OTOH, you bring a new stranger to the mix each time, you can never be sure what you're going to get.

With a stranger? Definitely. With a friend? It may not be necessary. If all three people are clean to start out with and none of them are fucking anyone else, condoms (as a method of STD prevention) are unnecessary. This is especially true if the woman uses some form of highly reliable birth control (or if both guys are snipped.)

 

This makes sense also! This is a minefield haha!

 

I agree with everyone here, having a friend involved might not be the best idea. There's already emotions involved with the 2 and it could escalate. You want to do this to increase your sexual passion...not to lose her to some other guy. Tread carefully my friend.

 

Should have never brought up the idea, no matter how hot it makes the sex. Its wrong for one, IMO. She probably gonna be getting with the other guy and not telling u. Ground rules? Lol...

 

Oh sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself. If that's what's gonna happen then she's not worth ur time.

 

Really? Why is that? (He asks, taking the troll bait...)

 

I'm curious about how she knows the size of his cock.

My other question is, does he know about you? Does he know that he is the "spare" guy in her eyes? Does he know that she is sharing the sexual messages that he sent her with you?

 

I think he must have sent her a pic in the message exchanges. She said she's told him it's just about sex and nothing else. We have discussed it more. And she said even if it doesn't happen with him, we can look and find another guy to do it with