I hope men born in the 80's to 90's and even 2000's are a bit more attuned to the needs of how to treat a girl/women in bed. I think newer generations might be but I can't be sure. There sought to be a study on this. Yeah, that's one of my gripes with the Catholic faith/culture/teachings, I'm assuming your talking about that backround for both your family and your ex's Athemyst; I'll stand corrected if I'm wrong.
My parents and ex are Indian Hindus, but I have spent some years in Southern US Christian towns. The men I'm talking about are the same age as me, as I was born in 83. Then again, it WAS college. It's a time when young people are still exploring.
Two things, your cervix is not at the end of your vagina, so if he's hitting that it's a positioning problem. The sensation of needing to pee, as said is most likely G-Spot stimulation. Don't worry you wont pee just have a great orgasm, so try repositioning and relaxing, see what happens.
I have an amazing Japanese girl who is also, unfortunately very petite. She is also experiencing pain when I try to insert my penis and we have tried a couple times. It feels almost instinctively that she is just so nervous of putting my well, rather large member inside of her that even though I can easily and CLEARLY arouse her with just my fingers or mouth, she tightens up at the thought of receiving my penis. Again she is a very small woman even though she is older than I am by about 3 years. Is this just a mental block or is it that petite women, especially of Japanese decent, are just too small for an American? Is there a pelvis issue vs an opening issue? I have never had this type of problem before but I love this woman and I am willing to do whatever it takes to give her the pleasure she deserves. Seems like the proper thread to add too, forgive me if it is not.
I thought I had this problem a few years back with an ex. In fairness, she was a small woman and I'm a big man. A doctor's visit later, and it seems like it had absolutely nothing to do with size, and everything to do with something called cervical polyps. She was able to address them without too much discomfort, and it never happened again.