Hi. Have you heard Julie Bindel and how great she is? Julie Bindel has done a lot of humanitarian work to help sexually enslaved women across the globe, is a radical lesbian feminist and I really like her. N I rarely like anyone. So there's that. The latest fuss around Julie Bindel (oh yeah) is her saying sexuality is a choice. Why it pissed people off is because they believe for some reason that pushing the idea of compulsory sexuality is a good defense against hate groups even though it's not bc obviously non mutable characteristics like race and gender are what hate groups are fuelled by... As we all see saying sexuality isn't a choice n claiming sexuality is an immutable characteristic does nothing to help gay rights. At all. Why I'm mentioning this well it's bc of ALL these people constantly doing this questioning thing all the time n pulling hair out over it. As women we are inundated from conception till our death to put other's needs before our own. N we're usually taught that lesbianism is either reduced to a form of sexual deviancy or is some far off unattainable thing none of us questioning peeps can grasp. We aren't animals in the sense we are controlled by our compulsory sexuality. No one has to do anything. Women settle for less every single day n live out their lives just going with the flow bc they have see no other options. N I don't call that straight. Frankly I don't even believe in straight or gay. In nature or in humans I don't believe in rigidity. I've seen more evidence against it. Either way it's gross how everyone is always making public their sexuality n I rather never hear about it at all. Idc who it's coming from. Like oh I'm coming out, etc. Idc. I really don't. So. Given I'm pretty asexual so most of it grosses me out. I also feel sexual attraction feelings what gets you off, etc is a vulgar topic to discuss openly the way it's often done. I also like how Julie Bindel said years ago that lesbianism isn't about sex like people twist it around to be. Yep. See I see this as a lot of straight people per se date marry n live lives together etc n sex isn't the main focal point..I see that sex may not even be a main deciding factor in relationships. Aren't people mostly driven to seek partners who allow them to continue patterns of dysfunction from early childhood? I mean there's probably more truth to that then people seeking out relationships or even sex partners based on sex alone tbh. So why constantly over sexualize lesbianism particularly? There's a lot that goes into a relationship besides sex. Heck if you really want a good relationship focusing on sex is the best way to screw it up n most cases. So You should read the lesbian masterdoc. I recommend a youtube series by some ladies who cover the lesbian masterdoc. In the end yes I think too many of us have defaulted t saying straight or going along w situations we hate bc were brainwashed from birth that women are meant to be in constant pain. Like a lot of women don't want to be associated with "lesbian". It's kinda crazy, though bc it's just a word. But I think bc of porn etc it's a bad word to many. Anyways I'm rambling I have no idea what line of thought I'm on. But let me say this. Do I think being w a chick is better in terms of lasting longer? dk never have had a gf. As a matter of fact apparently lesbians divorce at a higher rate bc of our standards for marriage how they're higher than men's. Men are easy. They date us no matter what. They'll stick around bc they're they're straight stalkers. Every time we go out who is asking us out who is begging n pleading n pushing us to look at them? Dudes. Always dudes. So no I don't think women are that into men I think they're just nonstop pressured. Have I ever found a person super hot? Yes. Extremely rarely which has made things even crazier for me WHEN I find someone who attracted me. But I ultimately control myself. Like I'm not driven by my feelings. So. I mean sexuality is certainly a choice in my case. And I think in all of ours.
I don't know that I'd call sexuality a choice, but I can see that it may be influenced by life events and therefore not be set at birth. I, too, am mostly asexual. I have a definite preference for women, and I find men, especially male sexuality, kind of repulsive. But sex has never been a big motivator for me. Full disclosure: I am transgender. I thought I was a straight guy until I figured out that I wasn't a guy at all. My wife calls herself a lesbian-by-marriage.
There may be some choice regarding sexuality in general, but I'm convinced that sexual orientation is innate. Even though I didn't come out until I was 45. Once I was out, I found myself believing that I was always lesbian, but this was concealed by traditional expectations and learned normalities. I didn't decide to be a lesbian; I merely realized that I was one.
This does make a lot of sense, we are told what to think, how to act, what kind of life we should be leading.. it makes you wonder what you would have chosen in the beginning if you were able to decide/explore more freely early on, with no shame. I'm saying this as someone who doesn't identify as a lesbian, but questioning quite a lot of things in my life.
I agree...... Who you like is often forced on you from some idiots who think they have the right answer.... THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER..... LOVE WHO YOU WANT TO...... Love is beautiful and it should not be restricted to one or the other!!!
An individual can claim to have chosen a certain sexual orientation and that may be true for that one person, but it is incorrect to generalize that it is a choice. There's no empirical basis for such a claim. The prevailing consensus of those in medicine, psychiatry (a medical specialty), and psychology who have studied the question in detail and over time have come to two and only two conclusions about it: 1. While a number of factors are involved (choice being a minor one), the exact mechanism of developing a sexuality or sexual orientation remains unclear and unknown. 2. The roots of sexual orientation are present and identifiable in early childhood. Choice as the primary or deciding factor has been tested and proven to be a false hypothesis. An individual who claims to have chosen a certain sexual orientation as if ordering from a menu in a restaurant would be an outlier, potentially truthful but not representative of any common path of such determination.
