Sexual health question (living with herpes in a relationship)

Hello guys I hope you can help me!!!


I’m a young gay male, I’ve been with my partner for 4 years now.


Around 8 months into our relationship I had an outbreak (Anal) on holiday however thinking it was a fissure I took the right medication. As it persisted I got checked and it turned out to be herpes.


Dealing with it was hard however life goes on, around another year later my partner now experienced his first outbreak. Which was painful but he got through it.


As Current circumstances I have outbreaks much more often and have previously (last year) been on suppression. He doesn’t have them all that often, however when he does I feel very guilty and it puts somewhat strain on our sex relationship.


He believes that almost every time he bottoms (receives anal sex) that in the next few days an outbreak appears. Because of this he rarely does (anal) and is now possibly refusing to.


Is this an actual thing that even though he already has the virus, enduring anal sex can trigger the start of an outbreak?


We also have sex unprotected, would wearing a condom help at all?


Also any remedies, tips etc would be appreciated as it does weigh heavy on my head. Especially during an outbreak.


Many Thanks.