A topic I'm sure has come up before, but I'm a bit down about it at the moment so here goes. I'm married and absolutely without a doubt love my wife, we have two kids together and really don't fight about anything. I have no intentions of leaving her or cheating, but I'm frustrated. I have a very high sex drive and she has none. She has anxiety problems and I get it and understand her lack of a drive. It just sucks because I try and go out of my way for her to try to make her happy and do things she wants even when I'm not interested at all. i give her back massages pretty much every night. I try my hardest to make her happy and ease her anxiety. But her drive still does not change. I just wish that even though she isn't in the mood she could realize that I go out of my way for her and do things I don't want to do, it would be nice if she could do the same. I'm really just posting to vent a bit. But if anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them. I almost want to stop going out of my way for her and just do whatever makes me happy, except that I don't do these things just to get sex, I genuinely enjoy making her happy. And when she is in the mood she's very sexually and very open, we do the swinger thing on occasion and she enjoys it as do it. So I have no complaints about her sexuality, just the lack of drive. I wish I could get her to give me permission to find like one person as a fwb type of deal. She knows full well that I give her permission to do anything with anyone so long as she doesn't hide it, I just wish it was a two way street. Some one tell me it gets better! Or a way to deal with it.
idontknow99: It is abnormal not to have a sex drive. Your wife may have had a complete physical but if not, that's the first place to start. Of course, it goes without saying that she has to be willing to do what it takes to find a solution. Hopefully your wife is working on her anxiety issues with a mental health professional. You need to take care of yourself right now. It may be beneficial to enlist the support of a mentor or therapist. It's time to look at the bigger picture rather than focusing on a symptom. I, too, want what I want when I want it I have learned, though, the quick fix lasts a short time. I imagine, like me, you want to find a way that brings long term happiness for the entire family. ~SDR~
She was on anxiety meds, but they didn't particularly help, decreased sex drive was a side affect lol. She is upset about her sex drive though and wishes she could have more of one. But all the medical stuff is out for now, not enough money. Which of course doesn't help the situation.
hi pal, remembers me to my situation, but now I'm broken up - next step... see my other post.... well I know this doesn't help your situation.... a fwb is something I was also looking for but she never gave permission - either she or splitup... double-bound which got me to some point frustrated... anyway it continued until she was completly fed up and kicked me out.... MY situation.... I hope you could sort it out. My experience is that sexual life reflects as well the everydays interaction. And have no sex drive means for me, that the energy, the focus goes in some other direction... don't know if its really within your power to change that path, to have another direction... she wanna change the direction or is it just you? But why are you still in the relation if frustration is rising, is building up? The kids could be handled differently - not required to end up in a War of Roses
Does she suffer from the hormonal imbalance? this condition often lowers sex drive. I can suggest you certain methods that are easy to perform. It has been scientifically proved that a glass of red wine stimulate genital arousal in women. Yoga exercises are also very helpful. You can try certain herbs and natural remedies that can enhance her sexual desire.
