Sexless relationship

Been in a sexless relationship for years!!!! And it sucks out the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

That was a year ago for rubbing one out, ya know and she's not back yet...

 

This is like asking if you should buy a Ford truck on a Chevy truck forum, you're going to get biased answers here b/c everyone here likes sex. I don't think sex is a priority in all relationships.

 

Mine ended in her cheating and divorce.

 

Same here, for several years now.
It started when we had kids basically, we used to have sex at least twice a day pretty much every day before.
Then she didn't feel like it anymore, lack of sleep, stress, post partum depression kind of stuff with the third (and last) one. Now we have sex maybe 3 times a year when all stars are aligned : good days and good mood several times in a row, good rest with uninterrupted nights, bit of exercise and so on. I feel I'm basically paying for anything that goes sideways during the day...
I'm not considering leaving either. Cannot thing starting all over or living on my own (I'm 48). I'm stuck. I try not to think too much about it.
I didn't have side affair but had a few times paid sex, that I don't like very much. I lack sex but also the intimacy that comes with it in a real relationship, not just the mechanical part of it.
Now anyway, with working from home, opportunities to get out and meet anybody are lower than ever.
At this stage I just think that's how my life was meant to be. I'm glad I have children so I feel my life meaningful. Without them maybe I would have considered leaving.
I wasn't beaten or molested in any way when I was a kid but didn't have a warm, happy childhood either. From this period of time I learned to clentch my teeth and hope that tomorrow, or later, will be better. I think I'm a bit in this mood again.

 

I'm assuming that her mood isn't always the best or for being consistent.
You're not that old, so for lack of anything other and given that divorces are so nasty, why not ask her for a legal separation and whereas you can do your thing and she can do hers. Depending on her attitude, you might still be able to live in the same house to save on finances and especially if you can make some separate quarters out of your home.

 

I'm struggling with the same thing. It's been hard for me. My wife who was absolutely gorgeous when she was young got overweight and just not very attractive. She just doesn't want to get naked anymore because of the way she looks I'm a little glad because fat doesn't do it for me. I still do her if she wanted to but she doesn't and that's okay I guess. I'd rather care more about how she looks because I really miss sex. I jack-off alot. And that can't be good. The bad thing is that she was such a little slut when we met which was what I was looking for. And for a while it was good. But she turned grandma awfully fast and we don't have any grandkids!!!!

 

Relationship, or marriage? If its the former then you're ok, but if it's the latter things get a bit more complicated. My suggestion for the former is stand your ground. Sex is a need for men, especially in a monogamous relationship. If she doesn't compromise then leave. I'm telling ya, staying is just making the issue worse, and killing her attraction to you. She needs to see the beast inside, which is independent and willing to leave to find another mate. If she doesn't see the light after that then she wasn't the one for you.

And if you're married... well like I said... its a bit more complicated. At this point the government is involved, and they take their share of everything. Plus family court is pretty biased against men right now, so you'll get extra screwed in divorce. So leaving her isn't really an option, unless you're sure she won't absolutely screw you financially. Especially if you have kids together. But there's also the torture path. If you take it, which is staying loyal and with her, then just know this gives her a lot of power of you. You will have to acquiesce to most of her demands. And she will hold her sexual control over you to enforce those demands. Or you can take the monk route. You'll still be married on paper, but that'll be the extent of it. You can take your woman's power away from her by finding other meaningful ways to focus your time. Either by hanging out more with friends, taking up new hobbies, or focusing on your $ grind. These extra things will benefit you in the sense of productivity and quality of life, and may also up her desire again. The fact that you're showing you don't need her, and can have a great life without her, will raise her attraction. Lastly, you also aren't continuing the downward spiral into relationship chaos. Your girl loses attraction every time you ask her for it, and the only way to get it is ignore it.

Very sideways, in terms of the differences between male and female behavior. But each sex has a different directive, implanted in our brains from continuous evolution. Ours is to mate with whoever, and theirs is to find the best quality one to mate with.