Sexless relationship

Anybody else been through somthing like this ? Does it ever get easier?

 

Respectfully, You better sit down with him, knee to knee and express your need for sex with him. If he don’t respond with what you believe is and acceptable answer or real desire, your best option is to move on. A strong sex life is paramount for a long term relationship. In my opinion, you are cheating yourself out of a sex life “you” deserve to have.
Don’t live like that. You are going down a depression hole.
I know this sounds rough. But, it’s reality check time here.

 

Ok

 

Sex is important in long term relationships. If there's no sex, you may as well just be really good mates. You're unlikely to change him, and if he's not willing to compromise to meet your needs, even if not as frequently as you'd like, then you need to consider leaving him.

 

He might be asexual, I'd say you just need to sit down and talk with him and try to find a way so that both of you can reach an agreement. If he's not willing to have sex more often for you or you're not willing to have sex less often for him to a point that both of you feel comfortable. Just how there are people who only like sex with men or people who only like sex with women, or both, there are also people who aren't that much into sex to begin with. I understand your issues with what you're saying. I think you and him need to sit down and have a conversation about it and try to reach an agreement that works for both of you, even if that might not be an easy thing to do or find. Best of luck to both of you

 

Jess said asexual very possible but my first thought was is he gay and hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. I know that the Vast majority of of men around your age want sex or beer 24/7. Now I’m sure that’s not true for all men. My wife and I are 51 and have sex 3-4 times a week. She knows (biologist that she is) that men have needs and she enjoys sex. She might not be in the mood but still says yes very often. She knows she’ll have fun too. every relationship is different but at 25, you really need to think about whether or not this is what you want.

 

I'm actually in a similar shoes as your boyfriend. I don't really have a very high sex drive especially at my age(40+), and my girlfriend and I have also been in a situation for the past several years where regular sex is just not possible. I think she's finally getting sick of all that(not just the lack of sex but the lack of physical closeness in general), but somehow we're trying to make it work. I've always been a believer that sex, although it may be very important, is still only one aspect of a relationship. There's so much more to a relationship than just sex. In fact, I believe that sex isn't all that interesting if you can't feel a heart to heart connection with the other person.

I don't know if your boyfriend is actually asexual, because I don't quite consider myself as one even though my sex drive has always been lower than, I suppose, most guys. I didn't actually lose my virginity until last year, and in my early twenties I'd also turned down sex for moral reasons. Perhaps he simply doesn't require sex as much as you do, which in itself isn't a bad thing. It's only bad because it creates an incompatibility between you two in terms of how often each one of you require sex. If he is anything like me, then sex multiple times a day every day is going to be impossible. You two either have a heart to heart discussion as others have suggested and come to an agreement of some sort, or go your separate ways.

 

[
somthing changes.

 

In my last marriage there was hardly any sex at all but we never communicated. Because of my high sex drive I ended up sleeping with somebody else. Now married to a woman with the same sex drive as me. Communication is extremely important

 

First off, you're welcome.

I don't know if our boyfriend find you "undesirable" because, if he is actually like me then he would find his partner quite sexually desirable. Maybe he and I are different in that sense, or maybe we're actually the same, and he actually wants to fix things but is unable to due to whatever he's been going through. It's hard to really pinpoint for an outsider.

Anyway, in my case I do recognize that at least a part of what makes my sex drive low is stress. And I also know that I'd like to do something about this, so that I can enjoy sex with my girlfriend more often. But if your boyfriend is expressing his wish to avoid planning sex for 5+ months, then the stress he's been feeling may be more severe than we might have speculated.

I hope you two can work something out that can benefit both parries.

 

Sounds like your in a similar situation with me and my wife. I want her everyday but I’m luck if I get sex once a month

 

I have been there before, it sucks. Just the other way around if course, my girlfriend at the time was boring when it came to sex...

 

I can't relate, but the only thing I can recommend is doing plenty of masturbating to make it more bearable, and if it really gets to be too much, you two might have to go your separate ways.

 

That's definitely helps but is no cure.

 

Trust me that's not gonna happen. Like addiction to alcohol, your desire for lotsa sex will always be there, even if you're successful at temporarily repressing the desire. You need to either find a way to increase his desire or find someone else who is compatible if you want to be happy long term. Trust me......

 

I certainly agree with you on that one. It really sounds like she is enbled/dependent on him. That’s sad and not mentally heathy for her. I think it’s time for her to woman up and be independent. Take control of her own sex life.
I suspect there’s more to his side of this story that not being revealed.
A good sex life takes a commitment and work. Someone is lazy here.

 

I don't think she's dependant on him. I think she's in love with him. Nothing wrong with that. The problem tho is she needs more sex than he's willing to provide. Over the long term unless he changes their relationship will suffer. Fortunately I think it's easier to be conditioned to want more sex (him) than it is to desire less (her). So there is hope....

 

I only say that because that was me. Once my sex life was very vanilla and limited. Then once introduced to lots of great sex I can no longer get enough. And no way I could go back the other direction - I have tried.

 

I don't pretend that it is.

 

I don't know if "always" is necessarily an accurate term to use here. Perhaps for you, in which case you have a very healthy libido and that's a good thing. But for some people, sexual appetite can fluctuate. I've been there. I've been a perpetually horny young man once, and now I'm not any more. Maybe I'll gain some of my sexual appetite back in the future, or I'll just stay like this forever. I've recently read about a case where a woman's sex drive went down to near zero because of an illness and a surgery that followed. The OP is in her 20's, and she still hasn't hit her female sexual peak yet. But there is a peak, and after that her sexual appetite may very well become manageable.