As my wife snd I got older our sex live has declined. She is the one that lost Interest. She had some medical issues so she cannot screw like we use to. She will jerk me off but the excitement wears off and after awhile I hate to be asking her. She is always busy. So I turned into getting blowjobs from men. I enjoy meeting them as it is very exciting. I go to their place and a few minutes later I am getting my cock sucked. Afterwards I feel guilty and say I am not doing that again. But a few days later I am once getting sucked by a friend or stranger. I would never be doing this if my wife and I were still having sex. Should I feel guilty?
I also have not had sex with wife, I also get bj's from men & give bj's, do not feel guilty, feels good
Only if you want to feel guilty. Personally, if I am having safe sex with multiple partners and not putting any of them at a health risk, I regard the use of my body as my own business.
No.......I know the gut feeling and that's not only not nice but not healthy for your relationship. But it would be best to talk to her about it...if you have the desire then to keep it buried will be to live a lie the rest of your life. INHO. Simon
Our stories seem to be alike. Because of my wife's health problems our sex life became non existent. She does give me an occasional BJ with months in between. Because of this I have turned to having sexual gratification with a male friend. My excitement overtakes my guilt I guess. I do wish I could disclose this to my wife but I know I can't.
I know it's hard not to feel guilty but you do still have sexual needs and if another guy can provide you with that (whether being sucked or sucking) by all means just go with it. Some people (men & women) will say that is being selfish and perhaps it is but why should one partner in a relationship stop enjoyment because the other has lost interest. I say just enjoy what you are enjoying.
Talking is the best solution for a situation. When we ran into a similar situation, my wife and I discussed things, along with available options. This led to having absolutely having no hangups about satisfying my sexual needs , in a Bi way. I don't have any desires to have sex with a man, but it was a logical choice for my/our needs. With her encouragment, I discovered new pleasures. If I were going to keep my needs and desires a secret, I would feel like a real shit for doing it. I remember an old Laurel and Hardy movie, where I learned that "Honesty is the Best Policy"
I think that's my issue. The wife was on a retreat for 4 days last week. I haven't been with anyone other than my wife for over a year. I could have had a FB come over but that little voice in the back of my head kept saying "don't do it". I think it has a lot to do with feeling guilty. I couldn't shake it. She'd divorce me in a heart beat. I think even if I tried to talk about it she's old school. For those of you that have been able to work things out with your wives more power to you and believe me I'm very jealous. You are very fortunate to be married to someone that us understanding and caring.
I read an interview with Dan Savage recently where he said, "Canada got the French, Australia got the convicts, and America got the Puritans. After I recognized that marriage in America meant conferring property rights over another person, l started thinking about divorcing someone who blamed me for her life-long unhappiness and punished me daily for that by withholding sex. I never for a single day, or even a single minute, regretted following through with that divorce, and have been my own person ever since. Many years later, I still remain in a committed relationship with another person who had been recently divorced, but we both know that our long-term relationship is based on respecting each other, not on "owning" each other according to a contract. A marriage contract would likely have made our enduring relationship much more difficult to achieve. In my view, exclusive sexual access to someone should not be considered a property right, particularly after your kids have grown up and child-raising stability is no longer the focus of your life. I realize that this is not a widely held view in America, but I'm used to challenging widely held views. I take extra care to prevent the transmission of STDs, and I respect every lover as a whole person.
Sex just became less frequent, less interesting and more vanilla/less open minded as she got older. She knew I was bisexual before we got married. But now, nearly 30 years later, I still want sex more than she does, and I like things more interesting than she does, so it is leading me to find a guy on the side, but she knows I want dick because I do tell her. I have begged her to explore join or watch but she wants no part. She did share one dick with me decades ago, though.
