Hi All, Here's what's going on. I have sex with my wife once every 14-20 days. Whenever we have sex 9/10 she only wants to do it in the missionary position. I ask her to do it in another position and she says no or gives me some kind of an excuse. Mind you since day one of being with her I have always gone down on her before we have sex. So I always make sure she gets hers. Now I'm happy I'm at least having sex. But, it gets a little boring doing the same thing every time. I feel like if I actually bring this up to her it may lead to an argument and now I'm out another couple of weeks without sex. Which is no big deal, but at the same time I'd like to not give that up. How can I bring this up to her in a way that she won't get upset? I even tell her hey can we try with you on top or from behind and then we'll finish with you on your back, but no she just want to lay down from the start. She's the one that also says hey do you want to have sex tonight. So I'm not even asking for sex. Please advise.
If you cannot be honest with her about something so personal now then you will only make the situation worse. How, you do it will depend on how she takes criticism - and you are the person who will know best how to do so
You could get a book on the Kamasutra and then go through them together. There are probably variations of the Missionary position ,which may make things more interesting for you .
Honestly, I tell her everyday how attractive she is and how she's the best thing in my life. I'm always touching her and kissing her cheeks. I tell her that she should model haha. But, I am where I am with her.
Some women are into being a starfish,.I would suggest kneeling between her legs and make her watch you jerk off over her and see where that might take things. It's can push all different kinds of buttons watching/knowing your man is pleasuring himself and your the reason he needs it. She's still in her comfort zone but small changes can lead to bigger ones down the track.
Years ago when we were first married, my wife only did missionary because that's how she felt confident. All of her experience with others had been with her on her back. "The Joy of Sex" was a book that explained how to have sex in different positions and the benefits of each. I let her read the book and mark things she would like to try. That led to more positions and activities. Maybe there is a similar source available now.
It might be possible that when in the heat of the moment a simple placement of her body into the position you may want to try will work. If still met with resistance a little pleading that you want to just feel what it may be like this way or that way just for a few moments. If you get her to open up and allow penetration outside her comfort zone, even if for just a moment, she may find it to be pleasurable and want to continue. Fear keeps many people from exploration. But fear is just an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. Once a person gets past that they will explore and learn new things.
If you keep the convo respectful then there shouldn't be a problem. Just talk to your lady.. let her know how attracted you are to her and just be open and tell her it was something that was on your mind.. it also probably wouldn't hurt to be flirty and cute throughout the day leading up to sex.. I think my husband just posted on here in another forum about kissing.. it definitely can add to intimacy if you regularly kiss and show affection.. hold hands, sit close while watching a movie..
My wife says there's nothing sexier than a man doing the vacuuming. So I do it all! Along with most of the other things you mentioned....dishes, laundry, cooking (I mostly grill/bbq), etc. And if you really want to get on her good side and free up her mind for sex, take care of the kids all day and put them to bed. (If you have kids)
Love this, free up her time and she will have more time and energy for you at the end of the day as well. Nothing worse then when sex starts feeling just another chore on the list.
Years ago when my wife started to lose interest it was like a chore. She felt bad. Hormones change, etc. But she would make me feel so bad and complain that she had to take a shower and that she didn't want me to get cum on her because then she would have to take another shower and wouldn't I be just as happy with a handjob....tomorrow morning. All that. Go out to dinner, have a few drinks but have to be back in time for American Idol. People change. Part of life.
Very true people do change, and then they can change again and again and again. What we want at 20 isn't we want at 30 or 40. I was the same for the last few years as in it felt like a chore not something I wanted but no I never made him feel bad for wanting it, I just stopped trying and left it up to him when we did it. I never say no. Now I have chosen to change again and take back my sex life, we have gone from once a month for the last 5-6 years to multiple times a week and the only rule I now have is no more vanilla.. it's has bought back our sex life better then when we first meet.
