Need some help, particularly from anybody who has dealt with this before. Wife and I have been married 10+ years. When marrying her she has a prior disability that leaves her in pain 100% of the time. Prior to getting married, she was always taking medicine that left her 'loopy' and the sex was decent. When we had kids, she stopped taking the medication, and then realized that she didn't like being out of control, so she stopped taking it. Problem is that means she is always in pain and feels it. Ever since then the sex has been less frequent (but not complaining where it is at), but the tough part is that she doesn't experience pleasure. I am sure some people like to combine pain and pleasure but for her it does not work. What that means to our relationship is that sex is pretty bland. She has no desire to get off. My touching her in any way does nothing for her. She claims to like sex, but it is pretty obvious to me when someone is enjoying it (I have had previous partners) and I do not feel like she is enjoying it. Because I do not feel like I turn her on, it makes me feel like less of a man. Also, sex and intimacy is important to me - I would like to explore and possibly have some fun with it, but I feel that due to this issue she has no interest in making sex or exploration a priority. A while ago a co-worker and I were spending a lot of time together and ended up flirting a little bit. When I would touch her arm or 'accidentally' brush her leg, I could tell that she was getting excited. I put a stop to that behavior right away (and told my wife) but ever since I feel like I am looking for a similar response from my wife. I've discussed this aspect with my wife (i've discussed all of these aspects with my wife), and she tries to be a little more responsive (i.e.; making a noise) but I feel like it is forced and she only does it because I have asked for it. I'll leave it there, hope someone can ask questions or give advice.
This is really the sort of question that should be answered by a medical professional. Counseling about sex-related issues and medical conditions is out there...you may be able to find some more info about how to get it by researching online. It might be possible for your wife to take pain meds on an occasional basis to make the sex better, if both of you are on board with that. There may be particular sex acts and positions that might be more tolerable than others... a professional may be able to give you some tips, or it may require experimentation on your own. If there is a community of people with health issues similar to that of your wife, they may have some good advice as well. Hope all goes well, wishing you the best
Where do we get these people who come in and post one long-winded post and then never turn up again? Ok, I would say if you suspect she isn't really enjoying sex, step it off a little bit. Not totally at first, then slowly ween away from it altogether! There's always masturbating!
My wife also has chronic pain. Expand your thinking. Mutual pleasure from intercourse is only one form of sex and may not be a possibility in your case. (I suspect that you are already aware of this). Find some way that you can participate in her orgasm. The position(s) that doesn't hurt. The activity that feels good. Does spreading her hips for cunnilingus hurt. Does you fingering her with her legs closed hurt? Does what hurts change from day to day? You may have to have different activities for different purposes. This activity is for her pleasure. That activity is for yours. And you are right, on those occasions when she chooses to do something painful because it gives you pleasure, that is a difficult kind of gift to accept.
The OP may show up again or not. Often the one-poster stuff like this is copy-pasta trolling. Troll or not, if the subject itself is interesting or worthwhile, I generally find it worth posting.
I'm not really sure how my post could be construed as trolling. I have an honest question, and there aren't many sexual health boards that I can find to ask on (especially ones that aren't religious based)
Just curious, is your wife always in pain (as in there is never any relief)? It doesn't matter how I position, or what I do. I am very open sexually and willing to do anything. The problem is that no matter how it is done, she is pain, and so does not get any pleasure from it.
Step 1: Troll finds a legit OP online Step 2: Troll copies OP Step 3: Troll posts the OP elsewhere Step 4: Trollololololololololololololololololol!
For what goal? Just to waste peoples time answering, and then just laugh at them? Yes Actually, the "profitability" of time spent answering questions on a social forum doesn't depend on the legitimacy of the question. One gets the same pleasure, personal insight or whatever one gets regardless of whether the question is legit or a copy. Also, if the "troll" gets pleasure from fooling people, I don't see any harm in letting them enjoy it. It someone get pleasure from that, then ... well those are the kind of people who need to get whatever pleasure they can into their petty little lives. Trolls have such a sad R.L. that I can't begrudge them any little joy that enters their small world.
Her pain varies, but there is always one kind or another. You should be talking to your wife. She is the one who would know what works for her.
i have read your problem. i think you should consult a professional lady docter.she will guide you better than other's opinions.and she will check your wife's body
