Sex With Alcoholic

Im having 'sex' with a guy who drinks ALOT!
It's a long story, lots of complications. He's 14 years older than me and without a doubt the best lover I have ever had...except he can't say hard long enough to penetrate me. Sometimes he gets there...but it goes pretty quickly and it's usually at 5am in the morning when I'm half asleep.
Docs say it's the drink, he says its a mental block/guilt, when it does happen it's always from behind....
Everything else is great, he says I'm incredible.
Dunno what I'm asking really? Anything I can do I suppose? It's frustrating the hell out of us both.
Doc won't give him pills for health reasons. I'm at a loss.

 

Cut down on the alcohol first off, that could help.
Second, try to create a relaxing atmosphere. Perhaps try something different- a sensual couples shower, perhaps?
Try various positions, and reassure him that the goal isn't to finish, it's to enjoy the experience. Don't make sex a huge deal, just an enjoyable thing for the two of you to do together.

 

Given his chronic inability to perform, I have to ask; what exactly makes him the "best lover you've ever had"? Were all the prior ones even crappier?

 

Drinking a lot should not have much to do with having sex. When he is not drunk, you can have sex with him as if he is a man who never drinks, lol.

What makes you want him so much, why is he too great for you? I am 24 years old, never had a girlfriend in my life. When I say to a girl that how about going somewhere to drink tea or coffee, she begins to think I wanna date her and she stops talking to me. You say hi to a girl but if you try to make a converstation which is something beyond saying just hi, then she also begins to think you wanna date her and she stops saying ''hi'' too. It is difficult to keep in touch with girls so I have to hang out with dudes, lol. But hanging out with a female would be more enjoyable than hanging out with a dude but there is nothing we can do about it. When you approach them, they think you wanna date them and so they act bad to you. They say in their minds that one more person wants to date me, what the fuck, I should get rid of this one too
Being born a girl must be very interesting. Everybody chases you, lol

 

Don't let yourself get too emotionally or phycicaly attached to this guy now. If he drinks to the point of not being able to perform in bed he is sure to have a lot of other health promlems, now or in the future.
You have to decide what is best for you. If you can get him to seek help to cut down drinking it will be a good thing for each of you.

 

you can't expect anything from an alcoholic besides what they already have to offer. I doubt anything you could do to create a sensual/sexy mood would make a difference if he's blackout drunk

 

so the best lover you've ever had is a guy who stumbles home wasted at 5am, wakes you up for stinky beer breath sex, and then slaps you with a limp dick until giving up and passing out? we should totally hang out.

 

^ why, do you do the same thing?

 

Get one of those dusters you can wear as a glove on your hand and gently pet his balls for thirty to forty-five minutes a night. You said he says he has feelings of guilt. This will help him to deal with those feelings.

 

no, but i'd like to.

 

Ok I'm laughing. To answer some questions.
Hes what they call a 'functioning' alcholic or 'high user' the docs say whereby he holds down a very good job, has a lovely clean home, looks after his teenage daughter....blah blah. He drinks every day, sometimes just 4 or 5 pints, sometimes to excess and always to excess from Friday to Monday! He doesn't stumble home drunk at 5am, that's when he wakes up and the drink has kinda worn off! Problem is I'm very rarely there at 5am
He's an amazing lover though, attentive, does everything else I need and always makes me feel great. He's reached parts of my body I never even knew existed! . I love foreplay so I guess that helps. As I said he's penetrated me from behind but never to climax...and he's never looked me in the eye either. He lost his wife 2 years ago and I still think he feels guilty.
I'm already attached, tried to get help and all of that.::that's not my issue. I'm dealing with that. We can't be together permanently for lots of reasons and it's the lonliness that contributes to the drinking...
His inability to 'perform' is also playing on his mind. I just wondered if anyone had a magic trick that could help us over this wee hurdle...unlikely I know...but if you don't ask!

 

...... ...... ...... :toilet:



Cheers Glen.

 

Other than the post count, this is not setting off my troll meter more than most of the other posts on this forum.

 

^^???

 

There is a reason why they are a alcoholic! Don't be their drinking crutch with benefits.

 

Not sure why anyone would think I'm a troll?? Lol
Anyway. I know what I've got myself into and I suspect it'll just kinda fizzle out...but it'd be nice to be able to finish what we started if you know what I mean!
I don't think the guilt thing will ever go, I suspect its a lot to do with how he was before his wife died, rather than feelings of cheating. Apparently he's been drinking for 30 years, it's just getting worse.
I was kinda hoping meeting a hot, horny 40 year old might give him something to focus on...I guess not!
Thanks anyway guys xx

 

glen glen posted the troll icon. i just responded that it did seem any more like a troll than most threads

 

...you can't cure an alcoholic...I've tried...all you do is enable...walk away...if he cares enough he'll cure himself and come back to you...

 

Be very careful with the term "functional alcoholic". A functional alcoholic is one drink away from a crash. This guy has been drinking for 30 years and getting worse? Red flashing lights, gong bells, sirens and shouts of warnings.
Get out of this relationship now. He is headed down hill really fast, both physically and mentally. He is beyond human help and can only recover once he hits his own bottom and it will not be pleasant. He will then immediately blame those closest to him or demand that they help, "enable", him. Get out before you get hurt when he crashes.

 

That^ right there.