I recently started to have sex with one of my friends. The problem is, I think he wants more than I do. I want friendship, and I want occasional sex. Is this wrong? Am I unintentionally leading him on? Should I stop? I love him deeply as a friend and do not want to EVER lose that!
The sad part is you will lose that eventually.Either you or he will move on. It sounds like he is very commitment oriented. You have to ask yourself a few questions and be completely honest with yourself. How do I really feel about him? Am I in love with him and guarding my heart? Does he make me happy? Would I be sad if he found someone else? Are we sexually compatible? Am I afraid of getting hurt if I commit? If he is such a great friend why would I not want more? The truth is that most people never find someone they are compatible with. They just settle. Finding a man who truly loves you and is a friend too is a blessing most never find. Might be time to do a little soul searching before a good one gets away. Hope this helps.
Well the truth is, I am not in a good place in my life and I honestly cant answer those questions. I will try, I love him but I am not in love with him. I like being FWB but do not want to be his gf. He makes me happy, but not if I feel smothered to commit. I would not be sad if he found someone else as long as he was happy bc his happiness is very important to me. I would miss what we have though..... I don't want more bc he is just out of a relationship and I know that he needs a few months to heal- in fact I think he may be using me to get over her, but I am with that. He is in NO shape to be in a committed relationship, but I cant tell him bc he wont believe me. He needs a few months to just heal and start his life over. I hope this makes sense to you BACON.... I did the best I could to explain all this.....
I don't think you're wrong, but things won't ever be the "same" you know? Sex is a very connecting experience, like soul tying. So he may want to be with you, and that's really understandable to me. But a line is somewhat drawn, and that can't be crossed. But the friendship won't really return to it's original dimension, I believe.
The best thing to do is to communicate with him. I know exactly where you're coming from, I'm in the same situation, but you can either communicate, stop doing what you're doing or risk hurting him and causing drama. I chose to not cause drama or risk hurting him.
Tell him this and be stern as u speak add the fact that u don't see this changing and if he can't separate sex from love u guys can't keep sleeping together
I was just in a FWB relationship that was recently ended by her. Being a normal man this is hard to accept. Believe me I want her to be happy and if it's with someone else so be it. I think it must be difficult for her as well. Even though she ended it almost two weeks ago we haven't spoken since. It's especially frustrating for me as she recently posted some really good news with regards to her health on Facebook, and refuses to answer or return my calls.
Well, unfortunately, it seems your already down that road. Casual sex relationships are one of the most difficult relationships to have in my opinion. You not only have your emotions you have to look out for but, the other persons too. Once any emotion arises and it's not your interest in having the relationship go any further, your basically in a bad situation where your having to choose what to do next. Do you continue what your doing, do you tell them straight, do you stop, etc. In this situation, your casual partner has seemed to develop some emotions. What's worse is, this person was a good friend prior to this casual relationship. It's never a good idea to start things with good friends UNLESS you are 100% sure that you and your friend can handle things during the relationship AND if it goes south. Sadly, your already in a delicate situation so, I would suggest being very open and very honest with this person. Explain what you want and what you don't want. Ask him if he can continue without feeling the way he does now. It might be a little too over done but, honestly, people often tell others they can handle it but, in reality they slowly keep building emotion and then eventually get hurt. Not to mention, your friendship is on the line so, once he gets hurt, it's VERY likely that your friendship will not be the same. This is why it's VERY important to be open and honest. So, if I were you, I'd have a VERY OPEN AND HONEST conversation with him. Good luck
WTH? So if you value the friendship so much, then why did you have sex w/him? Hell yeah, you should stop. I have plenty of straight friends I value immensely. Whenever they get drunk or high or whatever (and suggest "experimenting" w/gay sex) I always say: I don't think so. I like you as a friend. Let's keep it that way. Casual sex is the quickest way to end a loving friendship (IMO). P.S. Yes, you are leading him on...
