Sex problems with my girlfriend...

I have been dating my girlfriend for four years this past July 4th. For the first 3 years we had sex pretty consistently and it was always fun and enjoyable. Though, we both have picked up pretty hectic schedules with both college and her starting a new salaried position and trying to find a place to move into. Our sex life is basically null and no matter what I do I.e. Foreplay, taking her out, talking to her about anything and everything, she can't seem to be stimulated or aroused. She blames it on stress, but for an entire year I find this to be something more than just stress. We both have our lives in order and on the right path to a happy a fruitful future, but her not being able to enjoy sex really bothers me cause I want to give her that pleasure. I personally use sex as a stress relief, but apparently she's the opposite as it seems it completely "turns her off." Does anyone have any suggestions or in-put as to why this has been going on for so long and what I might be able to turn things around?

 

Time to ask yourself some tough questions. First on my list would be: would she feel aroused by another person of her choice? Brad Pitt, say.

There's a difference between being turned off to sex and turned off to you. That's the toughie for you.

The toughie for her would be: if she's so disinterested in sex, would she feel bad if you had casual sex with someone else?

If the answer is yes to both, I'd say she's keeping things from you.

 

Try finding ways to get her relaxed, like giving her a massage or going to a spa or something. Once she's got her mind off the stress she's been having recently she may be more willing to have sex

 

Try to eat her out if she refuses try it again later in the week if she rejects u three times it's over

 

if she is bothered by the fact that she doesn't want sex, she could go to a sex therapist or an md to see if it's a medical issue.

meditation is good for dealing with stress

 

This

I'm probably just projecting

 

I hope not. I'm in great physical shape and we connect very well emotionally and mentally. We hold nothing back, at least I don't, when I comes to emotional problems, advice from one to another, and just sitting for hours talking and doing a whole bunch of nothing together and being okay with that...mostly because kids our age are into drugs, drinking, and doing a lot of things we got out of our system when we were in high school.

 

I think you are projecting.

I have to agree with Cherea that there is a difference.

I have responded to your thread-post, and would like to see if you have gained any insight based on my reply.

 

I never said anything about cheating. It may be something as simple as annoying habits of yours. But you don't seem to want to face any hard facts of life.

 

Great physical shape u say? Forget this girl let dark suger be ur new friend

 

So in other words the chances are 99.9999%

 

As a female that finds sex to be a stress reliever, I sadly did research on this and it's not common for women to be capable of arousal during stress. In saying that, it's great that you find sex to be a relaxer, but most women work differently. It sounds to me like she is stressing about those changes in her life and the last thing on her mind is sex. I don't think it's you. It's just life. So, I would wait it out.

 

Sadly when such things happen you have to either break up or try to play some mind games and see what happen.

Women like strong and confident man,by constantly asking for sex or trying pampering her every need in hope things will change you wont achieve anything.
First of all stop asking for sex,stop initiating it and never bring that topic in conversation.
Act confident and detached,give her twice less atention,spend more time with friends.
Act like nothing happened but reduce amount of cuddling and sweet talk by half.
Women can notice even slightest changes when it comes to relationship.
When she see that you became confident and less interested in her,that you are pulling away,not asking for sex anymore and acting like nothing happened and realy dont care much,she may start to do some efforts to get you back...
Just remember it may work and may not,but at this point you have nothing to loose anyway.