Sex problems with GF

Basically I'm not happy with the sex me and my girlfriend are having. We've been together for 3 years, I'm 25 and shes 22. She was a virgin and completely inexperienced in sex.

My problem is, even to this day after 3 years, she seems uninterested in doing anything else other than penetration. I'm into a lot of different stuff since I've been watching a lot of porn throughout my teen years, but she's always like "whatever" even about oral sex. She's even told me like it's the same to her whether we have oral sex or not (and this is during foreplay, cause there's no way she will give me oral after I've put it inside her). She will do it most of the time though, just to please me, but I see it in her face she's not enjoying it in the least which is a big turn off for me.

I've been extremely patient, this has been going on for 3 years. I've lost a lot of interest in having sex with her, a lot of times I'd rather just drink by myself at home rather than spend time with her. Our relationship is great in every other aspect, we are best friends, we get along extremely well, but I'm tired of having sex with her because she's too insipid/dull in bed.

Now, before you go "just talk to her" to which i would reply "no shit, i didnt think of that", is there anything else I could do?

 

my highschool GF gave me some advice that I thought was dumb but it turned out to be the best ever. "turn me on but don't touch me" and it took me years to figure it out.

I'm not sure how you guys go about initiating sex but it doesn't start 10 minutes before you stick it in. Do you give massages? Show interest in the small stuff? Make her normal life important to you and she might open up a little more.

It's really hard since she was a virgin with no experience but she might be shy about the new stuff. Does she masturbate? Does she have an orgasm when you guys are together?

I have found over the years that to turn them into the sex monsters you have to show them the big orgasms, I'd work for hours to get them to cum and some woman it took more than one session to get them to relax enough.

When you are going down on her if you can massage her g-spot (lightly because it feels like they are going to pee and it's hard on a nervous woman) but if you get her to find her "spots/likes" then you can get what you want.

Make it her and yours will come after. Massage her tonight regardless on getting sex or not, give, give, give and it will come back.

 

So basically you're not happy that your girlfriend won't fuck you like a porn star. Well, by watching so much porn you now have unrealistic expectations about sex. Congratulations, you're ruined sex for yourself, you're fucked.

 

i suppose you could either appreciate that you get you have sex with your best friend like 99% of guys just wish they could do, or you could get rid of her and hope you can find yourself a pornstar who's willing to fuck you.

 

Lots of the stuff you see in porn, say 99.9% are "designed" to give men pleasure, not women. Even women who are curious about this stuff and try them at some point in their lives will just find out they aren't getting anything out of it and will stop doing them.

Take oral, for instance. Just for the sake of it, buy a dildo of your penis size and try to suck it for 5 minutes. Give it the oral you'd love to receive. Do you feel the pain in your jaw? If a dildo is too disgusting to you, try some vegetable/fruit.

Cumming on faces experiment: get on your knees and spread a mix of maionese and water on your face. Did it give you an orgasm? Did you feel how quickly it gets cold, even if you heat it to 36 C before the experiment?

Most of the stuff you've seen in porn, for the man, it's just sticking his cock in some hole, or ejaculating somewhere. For the woman, it often involves pain, dirt, doing stuff where you're just waiting for the guy to cum and hoping he won't take too long.

Even receiving oral, some women find it disgusting and frustrating when the guy doesn't do it properly.

I don't have a single female acquaintance with whom I've talked about it and she claimed to enjoy giving head in the least. You'll find women who like it on the Internet. I happen to enjoy doing it for my husband. But how representative are we? And how do you even know we're real women? Most women on the net are men undercover, and they're all very hot, will tell you exactly what you wanna hear, because they out-kink you.

You may consider choosing to have only prostitutes in your life, but even when being paid, many professionals won't do some of that stuff. I guess if you're persistent, you'll find one who'll be a porn star for you, for a fee. Prostitution is legal here. Check if it's legal where you live.

But it is possible to find a woman who'll try some stuff. Will she keep doing it? Only time will tell.

You could find yourself one of these women from some poor countries, some internet arrangement. Russians are gorgeous. They'll do anything for you. Money and a green card are powerful aphrodisiacs. But once you marry them, even they change. Ask around.

But you know, why should you settle for less than what you want? Get rid of the girlfriend who isn't performing up to your standards and find a better one. Who knows, you may get lucky.

 

Hmm actually no Russian girls might not be an option for the OP because of sanctions.

 

I know what you're saying bro, sex with a square who has little experience=big turn off. I couldn't count how many times I've broken up with females because of it. But sometimes those are the the ones that are keepers, just learn to control you're hormones. As long as you two are having fun together that's all that counts. But stop trying to change her, if you are not happy go find someone else who just wants sex out of a relationship.

 

Porn is not real, stop watching porn and concentrate on being with GF, try making her feel good, and think about what turns her on, rather than your own needs

 

?????

 

No, that's not what I said at all. How stupid do you have to be to come up with a conclusion like that?

Those are my only two choices? Wow your advice sucks. By the way, I never said I wanted a porn star.

This was the worst one. lol I hope you were trolling cause your post was stupid as hell

So her needs are more important than mine? I see. I thought her and mine were equally important, that's why I please her with anything she wants (in and out of bed). But yeah, it does make sense what you're saying, because if her needs are more important than mine then why would she care to please me in bed?


PS: Just because I mentioned I watched a lot of porn during my teenage years, doesn't mean that I want to have sex like they do in porn movies. I don't think I ever said "I wanna have sex like in porn" or anything like that.

 

Yeah I know the good girls are the keepers. But why can't they be a little more open in bed like other girls? My girlfriend is the first girl I've been with that doesn enjoy oral sex, not even receiving oral sex, and it's not because I'm not doing it well, she just straight up told me she just doesn't care whether I go down on her or not. Basically, her idea of sex is kissing then penetration. How fucking boring is that?

I guess my only option is to tell her straight up what I think and she can do whatever she wants. She can either try and be more "alive" in bed or she can not care and I'll remain uninterested in sex. Cause honestly I'm not leaving her, not anytime soon at least.

 

Well at least everyone was right, and OP really is an asshole.

 

After you break this news to her when you tell her this straight up, you might not have a choice but leave her.

Which in my humble opinion, is a good thing for both of you because you're wasting your time since you haven't found the perfection you are looking for.

 

Yup, that's your option. She isn't paid to do tricks like in porn videos. A crack whore will do prit near anything, you just gotta keep them happy with drugs tho. Pay a prostitute, or, show your GF you love her in many ways and maybe in time she will develop more likes in the bedroom. You did say she was a virgin, shoulda gone for the test driven model instead.
Your "more alive in bed" thing,,, you mean she just parts her legs and waits for it to end or she won't do other things you like? Being alive in bed has nothing to do with preferences, if she likes intercourse better then oral then she is not dead, she likes it more, you made a bad choice in picking her as your partner me thinks, next time go a few rounds around the block then make a commitment but as said above in many ways, women aren't sex machines, we are lovers with minds and preferences too, just like you. Ask some of your friends, maybe they get more tricks but less often then you, yer lucky you get the snatch, bet at least one buddy of yours says he only gets sex ten times a year.

 

Yeah as other people have mentioned, porn is in no way a good measuring stick or things to shoot for. Now sure if you see something you like in porn and want to pay a hooker to do the same thing then go for it. But otherwise it doesn’t have much applicability in the real world. Now that said there are a lot of woman on this site who have done things a million times more kinky than I have done, but it’s their choice to do that. Nobody is forcing them and as such you shouldn’t force or expect your gf to concede to your every sexual wish.

Now it does sound to me like you’re also just generally being selfish about this. For example I hear all these I want and she won’t. What about you trying to please her in some of these more kinky ways a bit? Maybe you have and it just turns her off I don’t know, and I’m not just talking about ramming something up her ass when she’s not expecting it, this isn’t band camp… If you’re bored and you know it and you know she’s perfectly happy with the way things are now or has absolutely no desire to take things to another level (which sounds like she doesn’t) then maybe you should pack your bags and move on. Some people like things real simple and that’s fine.

However my advice if you want to try to evolve your sex life would be to take small baby steps and please her with these baby steps. Then if and once she starts to like a little more kink it might open up her mind to do those things to you too. Also too be romantic about it, cause seriously that’s one thing that porn has virtually none of and it tends to make guys passive to the fact that sex should be romantic and not just a physical act

 

I seem to hear a lot of "I saw it,,, or I got it once and now I can't live without it" here. Almost as if no porn and no single chances were a better chance for the woman to please her man.
Yes we strive to please as our men do, I hope but if you saw it done there isn't a chance in the world it's a given. Your mate will like the idea or hate the idea and might even try it anyway but to turn to your lover and say sex is boring, it just means you are selfish and you won't give something else a chance or try to work up to it, not meaning that she will (and in the visa versa) if it's just not ringing the right bells but if she won't and you want it you made a bad choice picking her or you think you can mold her (him).
Love is not about molding anyone to porn like sex options. She obviously likes the basics and you knew that. It's just like food, my man will eat oysters and I won't. His choice but I will buy them for him. I won't eat sushi either and he will, his choice. Why can't people see that doing certain things is totally dependent on the one being asked and how they see it?
Seems some people actually want us to verify their feelings and it isn't happening. You made your bed, you lay in it. It's not our problem, seems you made the choice to love her not us.

 

How am I being selfish? I've done everything she's talked about wanting to try (she didn't even had to ask), the thing is, there's not much that she wants to try. For example, lately she wanted to use chocolate fudge and ice cream during sex, which doesn't really interest me but I'm more than willing to try it, and hey I may even like it who knows.

I'm just gonna have to break it to her that sex to me has been kinda dull lately, it's only kissing and penetration, that's it, and while it's good, it gets old. I never knew any girl in my life who wasn't into oral sex, specially receiving oral sex, women love it when I go down on them.

To everyone still talking about porn, I don't even know why you got caught up in the subject, stop derailing the thread. I DO NOT want my girlfriend to do porn-like stuff with me, I can't make it any clearer than that. All I am really wanting her to do is try to enjoy oral sex.

 

Saying sex is boring means just that, that I think sex is boring. It doesn't mean I'm selfish, it doesn't mean I don't want to give anything a chance and it certainly doesn't mean I don't want to work it out. I don't know how you come up with these conclusions, it's retarded.

How did I make a bad choice picking her? Should I have asked her "by the way, do you like oral sex? i just want to know because if you don't then I don't want to be your boyfriend".

Again, I never said I wanted to mold her into doing porn-like things, stop making things up, you get more retarded the more I read your post.

No, I didn't know she was only into "the basics", like I said, I didn't ask what she was into before we got together.

You can't compare eating food to sex. Eating food is something you do by yourself, to yourself, if you eat oysters and your man hates it, it doesn't matter cause it doesn't affect him. Sex matters because it's something you do together, if your man hates kissing (for example) and you love kissing, you've got a problem.

And, no, I didn't make the choice to love her. You don't choose to love someone, it just happens.

Dude, you're post is the most retarded thing I've ever read.

 

Yeah I know how you feel, I was in a similar situation but in my situation the sex was just boring & I made the decision to just leave her. Than I ended up with someone much much worst. My suggestion is to just flirt with other girls, stay out late until she is concerned if you are cheating. Therefore, she will have no choice but to fuck you're brains out, if she wants to keep you.

 

Op, are you even sure you're good in bed? Let's be honest here, she's probably screwing someone on the side because you suck in bed And you did give off the impression that you'd like her to be into porn sex. You mentioned being into things you see in porn. If this was just about oral sex then why didn't you just say your gf isn't into oral..