Sex is not a goddamn performance

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Lucretia, Aug 7, 2013.

  1. Lucretia

    Lucretia Member

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    Uhm, if I was with a guy and he got up and started doing a perfect tap dancing routine I can't say that I would be totally unimpressed? lol
     
  2. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    "It should not require confidence". I would way rather be with someone that is confident with themselves then someone who is not!
     
  3. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Whoa!! A practical joke during sex?? Man--I don't know what kind would work. But if I could think of one that wouldn't get me 86ed--I'd do it. Maybe a subject for a ridiculous thread??

    Sex is a performance. I got two 6s and an 8 last time my performance was judged. I think the judges were fair.
     
  4. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    I think you are missing the point.

    I think the point of the OP is that it shouldn't require thought or trying to do or be any certain way. But be natural.

    Yes, if you mean confidence in like... not being shy and stuff, then yes. But the confidence it meant was like... putting on a show confidence.
     
  5. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    Personally I like the fact that my lady puts some thought and effort into making our sex life as good as it is and I know she likes the fact that I do as well! She can put on a show any time she wants to. I won't complain.
     
  6. creampie00

    creampie00 If you can't DODGE it....RAM it!

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    what Mama said :)
    just enjoy that shit heh heh
     
  7. babyjay

    babyjay Senior Member

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    I think there is a grey area for this idea of a 'performance' in the bedroom. Perhaps a woman wants to do something sexy for her man, she puts on a show, he loves it, and she feels better for it. a guy tries something new, girl loves it. And he is more confident in their sex life for it. I don't see the downside to that. I understand, however, that when people aren't genuine in sex, it sucks. It feels rigid and unnatural. and porn.... Porn is great. Some people aren't able to keep up with that, or aren't interested at all. But I love facials, spankings, bondage, hair pulling, loud moaning, all that awesome shit you see in porn that a lot of people are too vanilla to enjoy.
     
  8. Manservant Hecubus

    Manservant Hecubus Master of Funk and Evil

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    As an exhibitionist, I say phewy to the notion of non-performance sex!
     
  9. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    High five to this! Well said.
     
  10. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    Nothing wrong with that as long as it's HER thing and not just copying and being fake/insecure/robotic.

    I think we are talking about two different things. There's nothing wrong with putting some thought into doing things a certain way as something more different or exciting or what not.

    I think the OP is more about... well, I can think of certain guys (not saying it's only guys but that's who I think of when I think of this type of thing...), that have some sense of false bravado and do things that they think are cool or the way things should be done but it just seems fake and pathetic really and ...well, this type of person that I am thinking about probably wouldn't even notice if their partner was into it or even in pain or what not because they are so stuck on themselves and doing things a certain way...

    I think the point was just go with it and do what feels right and that your body and the connection with the other person should let you know how things should be and no need to worry or put too much thought into it...

    but anyways yea... I gather we are likely not talking about the same type of person... just a thought :)
     
  11. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    Hi Chica! :)

    You were on hf! :sunny:
     
  12. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    yea... in post number 35 that is kinda what I was trying to get at.
     
  13. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

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    party like a rock star

    fuck like a porn star
     
  14. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    There is nothing fake/insecure or robotic about the lady I am with and you don't need to worry she is well taking care of in return.

    Passion and intimacy are only enhanced when two people are confident and take pride in their technique when it comes to pleasing their partner. This takes putting some thought into what you are doing to make the experience better for the person you are with.

    If two people want to do what it takes to fuck like porn stars and both want to they can.
     
  15. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

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    I disagree. You shouldn't be having sex with someone you don't know all that well. Once you know they like you for you, then you don't have to feel like you'r putting on a performance. And isn't that kind of a deceit in itself?

    You don't have to make a show out of it, just be enthusiastic and into it if you feel it's right.
     
  16. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    why the hell are you being so defensive to ME? you're acting like you have something to prove when I have repeatedly agreed with things you said and said that I think you are talking about something totally different than what the OP was going for?
    and don't try to tell me how passion and intimacy are achieved... I've been with the same person for 14 years and we have a VERY happy sex life... that yes, sometimes includes things that are PLANNED. I freaking repeatedly said that is not what I was thinking of when I read this thread. It's just like your on some other planet compared to me and the OP and other people here... like you're not talking about the same thing. And you're trying to convince me your girl isn't fake in her performance. Great. No one said she was. Apples and oranges babe. I'm not responding to you anymore because it appears you didn't even READ my last couple posts.
     
  17. thedope

    thedope glad attention Lifetime Supporter

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    Are you claiming tonsilectomy?
     
  18. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    Not trying to piss you off at all! Just talking about some of the points I don't agree with in the OP. It is an open forum and not everybody see's things the same way. Would not be much to talk about if everyone did. I honestly do not care if other people have a different opinions on something. That is their right. Yes I may just be on a different planet then you, but I like it here.
     
  19. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    Sorry I got bitchy with you. I have a pretty bad headache. :(

    I just meant I was not disagreeing with you and you kept quoting me like I was. Like I said, apples and oranges... realllly don't think we were talking about the same type of thing/person/behavior.

    Hagn! :)
     
  20. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

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    I seem to recall Enhancer and Jay arguing in the same fashion before on another thread, lol. xD

    About the original thread: I must say I agree with whoever said all that on Tumblr, but I also think techniques can be good. I'm in a profession that requires me to possess advanced techniques on something but, at the same time, not to dwell on that aspect while working. To me, sex is art. To create art, you don't necessarily need techniques or anything. But that doesn't mean it's necessarily bad to possess techniques either, because techniques are tools, vocabulary, different colours, different pencils, brushes, different notes, different musical instruments, different ingredients.

    The beauty of it is, in an ideal situation, a couple wouldn't be focusing on the tools/vocabulary and instead become one with the moment itself which, in turn, might also make the whole experience take on some spiritual nuances. Sex to me is about two people genuinely wanting to have sex with each other, and being happy about that.

    That's my opinion, anyway.
    ::AT::
     

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