I was raised in a very stirct household and "sex" was not something to be discussed and certainly not allowed (I was afraid to date guys in high school). I think this upbringing interferes with my enjoyment of sex. I do enjoy it obviously, but I feel guilty or dirty or something. I do understand the importance of preserving youth's innocence, but if overdone it can affect enjoyment of sex in adulthood. Does anyone else have a warped mindset when it comes to sex?
Hi! erm..first of all sex is something as natural as breathing, it's part of who we are as individuals. The concept of sex as an activity has been considered dirty and innapropriate by many cultures, mainly because of ignorance. I was raised a catholic and was told sex was something you dont talk and dont think about, cos is considered as a sin. I grew up thinking I was going to hell cos I thought about sex from a very early age, i was a curious child. I managed to change this concept as soon as I reached puberty and started rebelling against all that made me so miserable. I can't really tell you how to get there, but you need to find a way to stop thinking that sex is wrong, cos it's not. i ran out of thoughts.sorry.
I know what you mean. I was raised that way as well, and it can limit enjoyment at times. I think that heavy restrictions on sexuality from parents can cause even worse problems. Just like children having their image controlled by their parents can make them feel a desire to go get tattoos and piercings as adults, the feeling of 'dirty' sexual acts can actually become something to be persued. This persuit of 'dirty' sex may become progressive. Progressively dirtier. Could end up molesting kids or something...
I know what you mean, Metro. I feel that way too alot of the time and my b/f is the one to suffer for it. I feel like sex is something I shouldn't do. Something that is dirty and wrong and only should be done by two married people not me and my b/f. I tried changing my point of view on the topic, but it is soo hard to do when you have it drilled into your skull that it is wrong. I really hope that one day we can learn to enjoy sex rather then think of it as something we should not get involved with. One day, I hope, I will be normal.
Interesting. I was raised similarly in a Catholic household. However, I find the "dirty" act of having sex even more enjoyable because I'm rebeling and doing something that is not approved. In fact, this is why I took up smoking, just to piss my parents off. So, being raised this way has in fact made sex more enjoyable!
i too was rased as catholic and sex was never discussed (my mums a sexual health advisor now but she isnt catholic, just my dad, me & brother). my parents never ever discussed sex with me but they never told me it was wrong or dirty. the way i see it is, if god created man & woman then why did he give us a sex drive & then tell us that masurbation & sex before marrage is wrong. isnt that a form of crulety. if your sexually frustrated you cant just ignor it can you. also, what is so special about marriage, ok, its a comitment before gods eyes but just because i'm not married to my b/f dosent mean i'm no-more or no less commited to him than if i was married so what makes the sex i have with my b/f so dirty & wrong now than if i was married. the only divise i'm going to give is religion is not a bad thing but it can be a hinderance to the human mind. it can get you confused, it can make you unhappy & it can make you happy, but do what you feel is right, dont think about what other people think of you & that god is judging you because of it. sex is about becoming one & showing your love for one another so what is so wrong with it?!
I have alot of body image problems because being raised so uptight like that. I want the lights out! Oh, and don't touch me there-I'm fat! Any of you women able to relate to that?
My ex-girlfriend was like that. The hole saying i'm fat thing is one of the most annoying things i've ever had to deal with in my entire life. If you sit their and want to complain about it, do something about it!! If your not going to work at it, dont complain to me, just hop on me and have fun. When having sex GIRLS... the last thing on a guys mind is "Oh how fat she is... oh how nasty she is"... The only thing oging through my mind is this feels good or hellll yeahhh! lol. later
people seem to think anything they enjoy is wrong in some way, probably due to instances where it has gotten out of hand. Food is bad, if you eat constantly, and sex is bad if you just go out screwing anyone you bump into and are iresponsible about it, psychologically and physically. But people are backward about things that can become problems, when something is often done wrong we want to talk less about it? If parents and people in general talked openly about sex, the way it works, the things it does, the consequences and benifits, it would help the problems that can arise and make peoples sex lives healtier, but we bottle it up and hush it down, which makes people uncomfortable and uninformed, to the loss of safety and enjoyment. Were this way about a lot of things, how many topics we bottle up would be better if we were open about them? sex, abuse, war, politics, basically any soical or personal problem.
Yes, I too was raised in a sexually strict household... I totally attribute that to my enjoyment of bondage. If I'm tied up, then I'm not in control anymore. So, if I enjoy myself, it's really not my fault and I'm still a "good girl"... I had rape fantasies as early as 6 years old (and still do, naturally)... Actually, I've gotten over the whole guilt thing, but I still love being tied up and out of control... So yeah, a strict upbringing can alter a persons perspective. However, I think it opened my mind to the kinkier side of life and I think this is a good thing.
if we didnt have sex . life would be dull. its because of sex we are hear .i know i am not great at thinking things out .FUCK the guilt i know about that .
sex is so much fun and pleasurable...i don't think its dirty or wrong, unless you are dirty and paying for it...then maybe...i don't usually feel guilty...maybe in the past maybe i shouldn't have done that with him...but i don't regret things in life because you cant change them
Me probably. I was raised in a very strict home, and sex was bad, bad, bad. You didn't do that until you were married. The girls/women who did that before marriage were sluts. All men were bad, and all they wanted were to do bad things to you. Seriously. I grew up practically fearing the opposite sex because I was told such things, and also thinking that my body was disgusting "down there". When my poor hubby found me I was totally anti-sex. I knew I craved it, yet I felt guilty for thinking those thoughts. I lost my viriginty to him when I was 18 years old (he was 22 at the time) and it took me quite a while to be able to really relax, enjoy, and not feel guilty. I cried while we made love the first time. Not because of the physical pain, but because of the emotional pain. I felt that I was going against what I had been taught and that I had let myself down in a way. I had always said that I was going to wait until I was married, but there I was, doing it before. Luckily, he was patient with me. I know I was very, very backwards in the beginning. But, I trusted him, and I felt that I could do anything with him, and over time, things became easier and easier. I think that I still have some room for improvement, but I have come a long, long way.
"the way i see it is, if god created man & woman then why did he give us a sex drive & then tell us that masurbation & sex before marrage is wrong. isnt that a form of crulety." if god is the creator and s/he gave us a sex drive, s/he also gave us (us womyn, at least) a clit... ...the clit is the only piece of anatomy with only a sexual pleasure function. the clit, then, is a gift from god. this, "gift from god," is pretty complex. the clit has 18 different, yet interrelated parts. the clit has 3 layers of muscles. i heard from the vagina monologues that the clit has tiwce as many nerve endings as the penis (i've also read that they're equal in number, but obviously bundled closer together in the clit. i cant remember my source for the latter, so im not sure which would be a more reliable source). of course, my parents never told me this. i wonder if they even know how complex the clit is? i love my clit... but it took me a long time.
I can't agree more... if it was not for sex, then none of us would be here today... it's a fact of life... you should just enjoy it.
ohhhhhh yeah. My mom used to drive me by the clinic and tell me that she never wants to see me there and would tell me what 'type' of girls went there. That combined with inconcievable fucked up ness from my dad has made me feel very guilty about sex.
This is a very sad thread. Christian religious denigration of the beauty of sex is one of the most hideous sins... Do more research on how non-Christian societies enjoy and encourage sex and pleasure. I did a thesis on this subject many years ago, which resulted in me becoming an agnostic. Religious sexual oppression resulted in me discarding religion. Which is the way it should be. Mark
