Hello everybody! First of all i want to apologize for my bad english...my native language is not english! Second of all i want to say that my story is a little bit long so i would love if you could read and give me some help. So this is where we start : I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 10 months and now i experience some problems in bed. I have never had these kind of problems until like 1 month ago when something happend! At that moment my girlfriend made a joke about me that i couldn't suck my own ****...but the problem isn't that she made that joke beucase i know that 95% of people cannot suck their own **** because of the ribs, the problem is that she made her in front of 2 friends of mine(room colegues) and of course they made big big fun and laugh about me. Well, everything was ok until i started thinking : 1. My girlfriends's ex was way bigger than me. I am like 5.5 - 6" (that's about 15 cm) but he was bigger. The thing is she told me he was bigger but she never could feel good with him, not even get wet because he couldn't make her feel horny and she was in pain at all times when she had sex with him. 2. She cannot have vaginal orgasm everything i try...she over-think that feeling she get when we have sex - she says she feel like she needs to pee but she is afraid of it and feel like she will pee on me. But i have read on the internet and it says that if girl is feeling that it means she is near vaginal orgasm... 3. she has almost all the time clit orgasm. I touch her in the foreplay or have a little sex and then give her oral sex and after she cum i continue having sex until i cum too. 4. We don't have regural sex even with we stay all the time togheter. We are students and we live in a kind of "dormitory for students" . Like a big building with apartments for students..but i live in the same room with 2 other guys and she lives in other room with 2 girls. But she stays with me all the time beacuse here we are all friends and she stays with me all the time, we even sleep togheter but we cannot have sex while my colegues are at home. well...the problem is that from the moment she made that joke about me, sex has been going down for me. Everytime we have sex all i think about is how is going to be, what if she is thinking about her ex? Becuase now she learnt lot of things about sex. Her first orgasm was with me because she couldn't feel good with her ex even she stayed with him 3 years. All she was experienced was pain. She tells me all the time she feel very very good but i wonder all the time what would happen if i stop giving her clitoral orgasm by oral or touching her. I tried giving her vaginal orgasm even with hands but she cannot finish. I mean she feels good and everything but she cannot have vaginal orgasm. And by that moment when she told me, like a month ago, i started to lose erection even while we had sex. if i give her oral i over-think these things and i feel like i cannot have erection after she has orgasm so i can continue. I have never had these kind of problems. The other thing is i kind of started to ejaculate very fast because i always think what if i come too fast and she doesn't feel good and she will be dissapointed? And it makes me really cum fast! So the thing is i feel kind of useless in bed and not good enough for her. It's foreplay when i am rock hard then i give her oral she has orgasm then i cum...it feels great but i always think too much and i feel bad about that joke. And makes me think that she meant it and maybe she thinks how it is to have sex with her ex now - when she knows more about sex. She tells me how great i am and how much she loves me and she won't never ever leave me. Well, the problem wouldn't be so big if i could talk to her about it. And this is the second big problem in my relationship : i cannot talk to her because she refuses to talk or she doesn't know how to make a conversation. Example : if we argue she just stay there thinking about something else and wait until she forget about it or she feels good (THIS IS THE MAIN PROBLEM...I am that kind of guy which is very sentimental and i "put to my soul" everything.). But it takes longer for me to just leave it behind and not be a little sad and she is different, she can feel better in 15 minutes by "forcing" herself not to be bothered by problems. And she cannot understand me! She just wait for her to feel good and i tell her i still think about that problem that we argued about but she does nothing!!! Just look at me and tell me she finds useless to talk about that thing! Even if i sometimes feel terrible about some things. I feel her very selfish and care-less about the way i feel sometimes and i keep telling her that i need her to take care of me sometimes the way i do with her. One day it was at night and we were in bed going to sleep and talking about a fight some hours before and she just fell asleep while i was talking to her. I felt so...single! Like she didn't care about that. and i woke her up beacuse i went smoking to relax...and she said she is sorry but she feels very tired and sleepy. :/ And i feel tired about telling her everytime how i need some things, how to make things better, how I TRULY DEEPLY NEED TALK! And the bad thing is that in her last relationship with that guy i was telling you about she told me she never talked about problems, never argue and sometimes i feel she behave like she did in her past relationship. And i am tired of telling her how to behave when we have a problem...she just leave that problem there and forget about it no matter how i feel. And if i don't tell her i feel bad she almost never comes to me to talk. And i feel so lonely.. How can i make this right? I feel nervous when it comes to sex! I am kind of scared and all i think about is her ex and what if she lies to me that she feels good. And what would happen if i stop giving her oral even she tells me sex is good anyway? Thank you in advance and i apologize for my bad english!! Have a good day!
Yeah I think you are too much of a "thinker" or wear your heart on your sleeve whereas your GF sounds kind of simple and doesn't have much emotions. Hence she took a stab at you with that joke in front of your friends, and personally I think it's ridiculous that your friends laughed at you for not being able to self suck yourself, cause as you said 99% of men cannot do this. It doesn't mean your small, but just means your not a contortionist. Seriously ask your roommates if they can suck themselves and if they lie and say "yes" then say "show me" and see what they do then... Overall it doesn't sound like this girl and you are a good fit emotionally. So if you're so bothered by these things then maybe best to move on. But it does sound like you're a little on the sensitive side, maybe a little too much and tend to overthink or dwell on things a little too much.
Sounds like she was just joking around. Who cares if you can't suck yourself off, that's what she's there for. As far as her ex having a bigger dong, don't get hung up on it. No pun intended haha. There's always going to be bigger out there, you can't change that but just make sure you use yours good and they wont worry about size.
It seems to me that she gets more pleasure from demoralizing you than empathizing with you. Whatever your or her sensitivities are to this I think the foundation is wrong. On a side note, never take to heart to much any partner coveys about their ex, good or bad because there is a reason they are not together and that's what really matters.
hey, I am back... the problem is that i even tried to give her vaginal orgasm by fingering her but nothing...she goes to that point of feeling like peeing but that is all she can. She says she cannot go further beacuse she tells me she always thinks about it. She told me that probably we should drink something and have sex so she won't be able to over-think that feeling and let her going on... The second problem is that I am over-thinking about the orgasm and sex problem in some way : I talked to her and i tried to find out if she is really okay with this type of sex (without vaginal orgasm) but without clitoral orgasm everytime..i don't know if you understand. I mean there probably will be some times that i won't be in the mood to give her oral stimulation clitoridian orgasm, i just want to have sex and i wonder if she would be ok with that (she said that she is ok even if she doesn't have orgasm, she feels good anyways but i talked to her about a "supposed sex moment" like when I have sex with her and i finish...without her finishing and she said that it was "incomplete" beacuse she didn't finished.). I KNOW THAT I WOULD FEEL THAT WAY TOO! But i am angry at her because it's always the same : she says something but then she says something else that is exactly the opposite of the first thing she said...And it's not about sex, it's about all the discussions and problems we have. She tells me she is ok with the intercourse and the sex even if she doesn't cum, but when i talked to her about a supposed intercourse with me finishing without her finishing she said it would be incomplete. And if i tell her that I understood that the second thing is opposite to the first thing she says that I am too curios, I over-think everything and I am too annoying for thinking everything she says. I something have the feeling that she is not as "deep" as i am (and by deep i mean all the emotional,feeling stuff and the talking and discussion part) and she cannot discuss a thing. 2 days ago she said she cannot have sex because she has a headache - she really had a medical problem w/e - but she had that headache only at night for almost a week and only when i was trying to have sex and i thought she says that just to avoid having sex. I mean i belive her she has problems and i belive she had headache and i really, truly, deeply care about her but i wanted to be sure that she doens't tell me she feels bad just to have an alibi for not having sex with me and i told her that I have the feeling that she said she feels bad just to escape the sex part. I am much a "straight" man, i say everything i think and she knows that but she started to yeel at me after that telling me i don't care about her headache... And i tried to tell her that i trust her and i am sure that she feels bad, but i wanted to be sure that she doesn't say that just for having a reason for not having sex with me, and if she would say that she doesn't feel in the mood i wanted her to understand that i am ok with the fact that she isn't in the mood! And there it goes, i tried to make her understand the fact that i really care and i've been with her at the hospital but she said that i am too annoying with all these questions like : "why don't you trust me i care about your headache?", "why you say you trust me but you tell me that you don't feel like I care about your headeache" etc. And she said that one day she would be tired of all these questions..but that was the moment i realised : in this relationship with all my "annoying" questions i only try to make her open to talking and talk with me and i want her to feel good and not be sad - and i know that out there are a lot of people who are praying for some question like "why are you sad?". On the other way i told her i am the one that doesn't receive what i need...like talking, telling me what she feels, showing me that she really cares about me! I feel like i cannot talk with her, we cannot solve a thing because i talk like 10 minutes and she is just starring at me telling she doesn't know what to say or she says that i am right so she can "escape" the talk and all the discussion thing. I hope you understand and again..I am sorry for my english - i am very tired now. Have a nice day!
Your problem with sex has NOTHING to do with the size of your dick. I would not call 15 cm small. I have had a guy that was only 8 cm and did not last long, but he still was able to satisfy me with foreplay before we even got to sex. from the sound of things, she will not LET you satisfy her no matter how hard you try, so that's her problem, not yours. From the sound of things, she can't finish herself either. If she could finish, but had to do it herself, then you would have something to work with. She could even show you how to please her. It would be something you could work on together to grow stronger in the relationship. You seem to have no communication from her side. If she trusted you, she could talk to you and you would be able to work on things that trouble her. Instead, it seems like what little she does tell you is to keep you away from her feelings and thoughts. Simply put, get a new girl. Not only is the sex not working, it sounds like what you have is little more than a doll on your arm. You are not getting ANYTHING from her as far as I can tell. Even a girlfriend you can't have sex with but can talk to would be a step up from what you have now.
