Is it still common for couples not to have sex with each other until they get married ? Are some religions still against sex before marriage ? Did you want to wait till after you were married to have sex with your partner ? Or is it just that loosing one's virginity is anytime they want to & to heck with what others think ? What difference does it really make wether you loose your virginity before you & your partner get married or after ? So basically is keeping your virginity till after your married now a thing of the past ?
Depends upon the culture you are raised in,and if you buy into it. American evangelicals are big on promoting waiting for marriage, for example.
common? i don't know if i would say that, although i doubt that it's entirely unusual either. i'm pretty sure several religions are stil against premarital sex. i don't necessarily want to wait until after i know her name... although i suppose for actual marriage material i would prefer someone that doesn't just jump into bed with a stranger. i think losing virginity before marriage is pretty standard, and if anything saving yourself would represent "to heck with what others think" more than two unmarried consenting adults banging it out. not much difference really. at the same time, there's a lot of differences. this really requires a more in-depth answer than i'm willing to type right now. no, it's just not the norm. of course, i don't know if it ever truly was, or if people just felt the need to hide it more. i suspect many of them are bigger on promoting it than on actually doing it.
Depends on the culture, and like the above poster the response is too long if you want to get into specifics and I just don't feel like it for now. On the religion side, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, are still heavily promoting virginity all the way til marriage, and dependency on there being a hymen on the girl to prove it is still a key piece of evidence to prove virginity is present, especially in the middle east right now. The punishment is usually death or extreme humiliation to the girls or her family and sometimes her own family even kills her in an "honor killing". It's pretty sad. Although a double standard exists because females are kept track of more easily than males because it's not like males have a flesh indicator whether they are virgins or not, and in male dominated societies I suspect law enforcement is biased in sympathizing or even using their power in society to take advantage of the law to abuse women, and then turn around and be hypocrites and rape them themselves or extort them for money or whatever. I know that really bad crimes have been reported from human rights advocate groups in countries like Egypt had lots of sexual abuse (even a lot of female journalists there covering those stories) were sexually assaulted and raped.
What I think is interesting about this is what happens when you've been married, got divorced and then you're in the pool again. At that point do you wait or do you have sex because you're not a virgin anyway. I have an idealistic idea, perhaps, that I would like to not have sex again until I am married. I'm not sure I could really do that. But I'd like to think I could. I remember when I was younger a large group of my peers did a vow of purity ceremony. I distinctly remember several of the girls in that group getting married as soon as they were legal. I think even non-religious people sometimes decide to wait until marriage. It's not a thing of the past, but it is on the fringe. Lots of religious people also make an exception in the case of sexual relationships.
I know a lot of my friends in Utah go from being single to being married with children in 2 years flat. So yeah I think it influences things. But interestingly enough there must be something to it because all the Mormon families I know are really stable and tight-knit and supportive of other families. Personally if I had that kind of community support I might've felt comfortable settling down already.
So they wanted to get their cherries popped so badly that they married the next best guy as soon as they could so they could have sex. Fantastic thinking.
For those with strong religious believes or others who feel strongly about abstinence I say to each their own and don't judge either way. Whew... Now that I got that out of the way: While I can kind of get the whole "purity" aspect I personally think waiting till you're married to have sex is nuts... I also totally endorse living with your perspective mate prior to marriage. Reason is simple, you learn so much about the other person and mainly discover if there are huge differences in what each other wants. One could argue two people who have never had sex have and can discover it together. Whereas I look at it like never wearing a pair of shoes your entire life, and then one day being told "You can now wear shoes, however you can only ever wear the same pair forever and you have to decide which ones without trying them on first. All you can go off if how they look and feel to your hands." Sounds pretty nuts huh, but honestly it's not much different... I have two daughters and my wife and I both agree that we hope they are sexually active (responsibly of course) and even live with a potential mate prior to getting married just as we did.
A few close friends of mine waited/are waiting until they marry to have sex. I've had a few in depth discussion about their reasoning and several of them have excuses that I found not to be true. Some common ones: "If you have sex before marriage, you'll always compare your future husband to past hook ups." "Sex is marriage." <--Protestant Christian view. I guess some sects believe that the act of sex is marriage in itself. So, your only married once you actually have intercourse. Ya'll are technically wedded to the first person you ever slept with. "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" This one burns me. "God's will." "You're being degraded/disrespecting yourself." None of these make much sense to me. :shrug:
he guys been married for 7 years now, and i have a few fetishes i wish i could talk to my wife about but dont want it to be weird, any ideas?
If you've been married for 7 years and still can't talk to your wife about some fantasies, then that's a problem. Maybe try making a game out of it that makes it any easier
Yes but that's exactly my point. If you "experiment" with different people you'll figure out a few things such as: This is awesome That is gross I like it when... OMG I never new that felt so... I could go on and on, but just for the sake of really twisting things lets pose the opposite question. Could you marry a person based solely off sex? Meaning say you could do anything sexual with 100 or more other people and as many times as you like but couldn't say a single word to them. Could you choose a marriage partner based off that? As ridiculous as it may sound, I don't see the difference
Wonder if people gave a shit about this 10,00 years ago before the human constructs of religion and state became so important in the human condition. Naaah--didn't mean anything. Somehow I forgot to ask permission from a religious clown or a state clown when I paired up. ooooo--I'm so ashamed!
I was brought up in a conservative home and I wanted to wait until I was married to lose my virginity. I was in my mid twenties when I decided to have sex with my b/f. I was ready emotionally and I figured why wait for marriage-it might never happen. A year and a half after we began dating, we were married. Glad I waited for him and glad I didn't wait for marriage. I guess I got what I wanted
I wouldn't spring all of your fetishes on her at once. Start off with the least weird or offensive fetish you have (I say weird or offensive because you feel must feel so otherwise you wouldn't be afraid to bring it up.) Say for example, IF you have a foot fetish, you might want to get thigh high stockings (ASK her to buy them. If you buy them, you'll get the wrong size!) Then when she wears them, she will be turned on by them and you can spend time giving her a foot massage and perhaps introduce her to your foot fetish (or suggest she do something with it?) Or watch a movie with said fetish and see how she reacts? You do need to communicate with her about what you want and be respectful if she declines. I know that if my hubby asked for something I didn't want to do, I'd say no and not berate him. To be perfectly honest, if I'm horny and hubby is about to give me an orgasm or already has, I would probably do whatever he asked. It's all about the timing!
After marriage of course, you shouldn't know what you both like till married. It should be a total surprise,,, ya! NOPE, must play and get to know you are both compatible because once married it's costly to get divorced, real costly.
That's a logical fallacy. So men should be virgins otherwise they will cheat? I think people cheat because 1. they are not satisfied physically/emotionally with their partner or 2. they are just jerks and don't appreciate what they have. I had sex before marriage and I'm not a cheater. So I guess you are saying that since hubby had sex with other women he will cheat? Utter B.S.
Just make sure you depend on the opinion of someone other than yourself. Please don't value your own opinion. Others are much more qualified to make decisions for you.
