Sex appeal question

I always think the same thing. Kurt, Konrad, etc. - they are to be spelled with a K!

 

obviously the question wasn't whether you have spell check...

 

Your all to funny

 

Ya, what is sex appeal?

How to explain to someone what makes them appeal to you. Usually for me it's about how a person presents themselves. That could mean how they dress or their ability to just make me feel right and comfortable when they are around me. It's really that simple I think.
Most guys I have been with have different reasons they want to be with me and to sum it all up I would think it's because I don't fuss to be more then I am. I was born this way and that's what you get. Never had anyone ask me to lose weight, gain weight, color my hair or even act differently. BF stills says he can't explain what attracts him most to me. He says one thing is my way of taking everything lightly allowing him to be himself, which he found others he was with he had to pussy foot around them or they got upset. That's about the biggest one for him, the rest he says is just that I don't pretend or fake anything. Sometimes people just being themselves is sexy to others.

 

when you walk into a room filled with men and woman most of the time we will only click onto so many and the same goes for the people in the room. Some might find you sexy and some might find you blah.

If the woman likes someone strong then she will look for that. There are tons of factors here that come into play.

I've been known to walk into a room with one beautiful woman and 20 minutes later she is trying to buy me a drink and if the room has 20 beautiful women then I sit there alone all night.

We all make mistakes as we learn and the trick is to try to figure out what we did wrong. I used to be too nice and yes all the woman will say they want the nice guy but they don't.

One night at the bar this woman came over and said hi. I told her unless she wanted to go out to her car right now and give me a BJ then to buzz off, this is with my friends standing right there....she thought about it for about a minute and told me "ok"...then I looked at her and told her to buzz off and it wouldn't be safe to be alone with me tonight I was not in the mood.

She followed me all night like a little puppy dog and yes I brought her home and plowed her all night. She called me for weeks.

Not saying be a jerk but there is a fine line and woman do love to chase so being too available is a turn off for them.

 

That's interesting, because that -- what your BF is describing -- seems more about stability and requirements for a relationship, rather than just sex appeal alone, as one factor to analyze.


I think sex appeal, does vary, but there is best-fit trend, that probably defines it and you can really look at psychology and how that affects marketing in the developed world which in turn shapes the definition of sex appeal.


Sex appeal, is like fashion, it changes, but core aspects do remain the same. But things like (facial hair, genital hair, hair styles, body posture, slang/language of the particular time period you find yourself in), shift as they are small details.


But there's a certain core aspect, like high self-esteem that seems to have been required for sex appeal throughout time, and in other cases in history they just raped and pillaged, so sex appeal wasn't really a choice back then.

 

That might be what I like about it. He doesn't just see me as a sign board saying "do me" but he sees me as his everything which means a lot to me. He said the first time we met he liked everything about me, that's not possible I am sure so I said ya, well what struck you first. He couldn't say my looks alone, or the way I walk, he said he just knew after we had talked on the phone lots he was going to like what he saw. That's cool. To me it means he fell for my personality first and the rest fell in place, maybe.
So is it sex appeal or just attraction? I don't really know the difference if there is any.
My hubby said my face attracted him first then the rest but it was still a good answer to me, I am glad they don't say I look like a good lay anyway. Heard so many guys say that when a woman passes by, it's cheap IMO. Means good for a one nighter at least.

 

Well maybe, but I personally define them differently.


Attraction is more encompassing for me, and sex appeal, means something very niche and precise, and perhaps that's because I am a male and I can dissociate and see girls as partners for the physical act of sex.

To me, sex appeal is, I FIND YOU APPEALING TO NAIL YOU.


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I can see that for females, my definition of sex appeal won't work for many of them.


But then again I also counter myself, because I know girls can dissociate the physical act of sex, from the entire bonding romantic process.


So it's completely up for debate if sex appeal = attraction for the individual.

 

Maybe then I have sex appeal, I do attract guys but then I am shy with them at first, it ends up them asking me and if I like them I agree. Have usually been approached by those who already know me in work situations and such.
My first hubby met me through work, we dated, I had to move and he later ended up moving where I was and we started again, later got married. Current BF was an online thing and after lots of texting and phone calls we met. So maybe I don't have that sex appeal to just pick someone from anywhere but where they usually already know most things about me so are attracted to other stuff then just looks. Which might be a good thing.

 

That is probably a good thing.

But what you are describing is in my personal definition, not sex appeal, that's approach and flirting methodology.

Sex appeal, comes in all shapes, tactics, and sizes. The expression of sex appeal is what I call the approach and methodology.

Sally, imho you are boxing yourself into definitions set by hollywood and pop culture based on what sex appeal is or isn't, or what is good/bad. These are false if you try to find absolutes of having or not having them.

The message that I double back too from an earlier post in this thread, is you kinda have to forget the garbage about social definitions and gender roles, when it comes to labels of beauty, and sex appeal. Partly because they change due to their superficial qualities and origin (aka: business marketing).

True sex appeal, or beauty or whatever, is very instinctual and primal and is unadulterated from culture, in very much the same way the sensation of hunger is experienced.

The whole concept of being able to go out and pick someone out off the street, is really not something most people can do or even feel comfortable doing. And usually the type of people who do practice this, play in a world of superficiality created from metrosexual culture and actually do miss out or have dysfunctional relationships, because the people they are with lack a foundation on how to hold their own weight in a valid balanced relationship (aka: their baggage).

Also their baggage grows, and follows them for each attempted and failed relationship, that they bring into the new one, until the person shut down and finally goes to see a good advice giving friend, sees a therapists, or comes to seek help from forums like ours online.

 

You have obviously given this a lot more thought then I have. I don't even know what I look for in a man, one who could pull off what you said or more someone who comes off a strong and stable and looks are last kinda thing, for me anyway. I mean he should hold himself well but I don't go for pretty boy kind of guys or the model types. I like them more looking like they won't take shit from anyone, even if they will from me hahaha.
I attract to strength in a man first of all over anything.

 

Haha, well thanks. All I can say is I've been observing the world, and how it's changed from how it used to be for a long time. When I discovered that such deep thinking helped for essay topics in school, I made introspection a habit.

 

I have to do the same for my work but never gave this subject that much time. I might start observing and see what I can learn, it's really quite interesting.

 

Sorry, double post.