well, ever since I had Leane, I've been having trouble loosing all the weight I put on. I was 145 lbs before I got pregnant at 5'2, and now I'm 170. I went all the way up to 200 lbs, and the first 30 fell off....now I'm stuck. I tried going to the gym 3 4, sometimes 5 days a week, strickly watching my diet and the scale didn't budge.....I finally gave up after 2 months of nothing happeneing. Then I went through a month where I ate a ton of chocolate and stuff, and the scale still didn't budge. No matter what I do, I'm stuck. I know I have a problem with food....I get excited when I get to eat...like pathetically excited....goosebumps and all. If my dh says that at the end of the week, he's going to take us out for supper, I can't wait until the day comes and I get all dressed up, even though we just usually go to mcdonalds or something. I even practically jump for joy when I hear that we're going to order in pizza or something....and my portions are awful....I load my plate up so high and I eat and eat until I can't move. And when I go to eat a chocolate bar or something, my mouth starts insanely watering and my heart starts to beat really really fast. It's like I live for food. I feel so gross. When I'm eating, all I can think of is, "you're distryoing yourself," but I feel so beyond help, I think, "what the hell is the point?" But on top of it, my family won't let me forget it. My dh is the only one who says that he loves me the way I am. At least once a day, my mom says, "it just proper that you should look good for your man. You are failing as a wife." My opa came to visit on the weekend, and I ran up to give him a hug, and the first thing that he said to me was, "you've gained weight. You need to loose it. You shouldn't look like this." And he never has said anything like that. Sadily, I haven't gained a pound since the last time that I saw him in March... I don't know what to do. I can't drop it. I'm going to get blood tests done to see if I have an underactive thyroid, which could also be the cause of my troubles as it causes a low metabolism..... but i don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm a total mess. I'm embarassed to go out in public, especially if it involves eating. I feel like everyone in the room is looking at me thinking, "what a pig." I don't know what to do. The last doctor that i went to talk to about this said that I was looking for attention. I feel like I want to strangle someone when they say that, which I've heard all my life.