severe weight issues

well, ever since I had Leane, I've been having trouble loosing all the weight I put on. I was 145 lbs before I got pregnant at 5'2, and now I'm 170. I went all the way up to 200 lbs, and the first 30 fell off....now I'm stuck. I tried going to the gym 3 4, sometimes 5 days a week, strickly watching my diet and the scale didn't budge.....I finally gave up after 2 months of nothing happeneing. Then I went through a month where I ate a ton of chocolate and stuff, and the scale still didn't budge. No matter what I do, I'm stuck.
I know I have a problem with food....I get excited when I get to eat...like pathetically excited....goosebumps and all. If my dh says that at the end of the week, he's going to take us out for supper, I can't wait until the day comes and I get all dressed up, even though we just usually go to mcdonalds or something. I even practically jump for joy when I hear that we're going to order in pizza or something....and my portions are awful....I load my plate up so high and I eat and eat until I can't move. And when I go to eat a chocolate bar or something, my mouth starts insanely watering and my heart starts to beat really really fast. It's like I live for food. I feel so gross. When I'm eating, all I can think of is, "you're distryoing yourself," but I feel so beyond help, I think, "what the hell is the point?"
But on top of it, my family won't let me forget it. My dh is the only one who says that he loves me the way I am. At least once a day, my mom says, "it just proper that you should look good for your man. You are failing as a wife." My opa came to visit on the weekend, and I ran up to give him a hug, and the first thing that he said to me was, "you've gained weight. You need to loose it. You shouldn't look like this." And he never has said anything like that. Sadily, I haven't gained a pound since the last time that I saw him in March...
I don't know what to do. I can't drop it.
I'm going to get blood tests done to see if I have an underactive thyroid, which could also be the cause of my troubles as it causes a low metabolism.....
but i don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm a total mess. I'm embarassed to go out in public, especially if it involves eating. I feel like everyone in the room is looking at me thinking, "what a pig."
I don't know what to do. The last doctor that i went to talk to about this said that I was looking for attention. I feel like I want to strangle someone when they say that, which I've heard all my life.

 

I agree that seeing a doc AND a nutritionist is the best way to go. Even if you're strictly dieting, and according to books, etc. you are on the right track - there may still be something you're not getting, or some aspect of you nutrition/exercise that you're overlooking. Nutritionists are great for that!

In the meantime, TRY not to get too discouraged. I know it's hard. I've struggled with weight issues my whole life. I know it's cheesy, but I always say you don't need a "diet" you need a "live-it"... Diets make everything out to be such a huge deal. Like the world is over if you eat a candy bar. In reality, if you slip up or can't resist an urge to eat something you know you shouldn't, just remind yourself to be more careful in the future, and maybe add something extra onto your walk (or run, or other exercise program) that day/night. It really is a BALANCE thing. And believe it or not, some people are at a healthy weight even when the "normal" index says you're fat. Everyone is different.

I don't know how best to deal with your family. Your gp is easier, since it's not like you see him every day. Maybe you can just remind them all that you're doing the best that you can, it is YOUR body after all, and when they say things like that to you it's really discouraging and hurtful. I mean, really, if your mom said those things, she's just plain mean!!!

Whatever, we love you! (((hugs)))

 

awww, thanks humbleebee and you too bare...
Right now I'm living with my dh and Leane in the basement at my mom's place but we're moving out in roughly a month...I think that I'll begin to feel better about myself when it's just my little family. Sadily, though, the college where I will be starting at, and where dh is already attending....my mom works there. And it's a tiny college (60 students or so), so I'm still going to see her everyday. Blech, but at least I won't be living with her, and eating supper at the same time as her everyday. It really doesn't make a person feel great to hear things like "you need to learn to look good for your man..." all the time.
Yesterday, I was cutting a small piece of cake for me and my dh for a snack, and she walks in the house and barks at me, "learn to eat something nutritional!" Although, the whole time I was on that diet, and I was trying to make some changes to our grocery list (she buys the worst, most fattiest things) she would start saying, "yeah, live a little, you don't have to eat that crap. Just watch how much you eat." I don't work that way.....if I'm eating something I like, I can't stop. However, if it's something like oatmeal (which I've been eating every day for breakfast for the last month), I only eat until I feel full...which is why I want to stock up the hosue with healthier stuff. Definately going to be doing that when we move.

 

I think its pretty nasty that family members are saying that you're failing as a wife.
Ignore them, its NOT TRUE! Negative thoughts and comments aren't cool and unnecessary.

I think once you're out of your mum's place, it might be easier because you will have more control over what enters the pantry.

If you find yourself craving sugar, eat a piece of fruit instead or get out of the house and go for a walk.

 

know what's really dumb? when I go out for a walk, i oddly find myself headed for a convienience store.....they're everywhere around here, so it's hard to avoid them....
I love fruit, but I've actually heard that it's just as bad because of the natural sugars.

 

Yes, fruit is high in sugar, but it's still LOADS better for you than candy, cake, chocolate, etc. (Plus it IS low in fat) As far as snack-food goes for those times when you just can't curb your appettite, I will swear by pickles. Pickles are my wonder food when dieting. They are very low in calories, and still extremely flavorfull. It works for me. I know a lot of folks who do the same thing with celery, but I cant stand the stuff (in raw stalks at least; stir-fried, steamed w/rice, in soup, THEN it's good!). I can eat pickles and feel like I really AM getting a treat, I'm not tricking myself into anything. And a baby dill is only something like 5 calories...

As far as the portions go, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's one of those things that can just be so ingrained in your life. In my case, I was the third of four kids. There was always PLENTY to eat, but it still felt like competing all the time. If after serving everyone, there was only enough for three people to have seconds, it became a race to finish your plate and get that extra serving. Didn't even matter if you were still hungry. Or if you got a candy bar, you better eat it all, and fast before someone else gets it. I still catch myself in this behavior sometimes. You just need to pay attention. Instead of going for an all-out diet, maybe you should keep a food journal or something of that sort....

 

Oatmeal, while being nutritious, is actually not what you should be eating if you want to lose weight. Eat a cup of dry cereal like Special K or All Bran instead, with skim milk. Fuit is good... some fruit better than other fruit. Like Watermelon is fantastic to eat when trying to lose weight.

Also, try not to eat until you feel "full", but until you feel "not hungry". Very different, and probably the thing I have always had the hardest time with. I would make healthy choices, but go waaaayyy overboard on the serving size.

Oh! And water has been found to actually help boast your metabolizm. So drink lots of water. Basically, quit drinking everything else (besides milk) and just drink water... no sodas, no iced tea.. just water. If you don't drink milk, then make sure you are taking a daily multi vitamin, as its hard to lose weight when your body is starving (if that makes sense).

 

that is a very good idea. I lost about 25 kg, in 3x two month. =6 Months spread over two years.

 

It could be your thyroid also. Sometimes you can get low levels after birth. If your thyroid hormone levels are low you will have weight gain, fatigue and depression. Stress will aggravate you weight issues. See a nutritionist and maybe get some body work done to help you feel better about yourself, a massage maybe. Hvaing a baby is hard work!!

 

funny enough, everything that you suggested for breakfast, i was eating on that 'diet.'
All I ate when I was preggers was watermelon, and I gained all that weight! I don't know why....I could even stand to eat anything like chocolate. Mind you, I craved slurpees......:&
The biggest thing that I have trouble with regarding the portion sizes is that I get hungry again 1/2 hour, if not less, later. That's when the over eating happens....
I actually get beyond irritated if I'm not eating. And I get these HORRIBLE migranes. I have no idea why. I should have included that in my OP.
The water is a life saver. And green tea. Those help a ton....

 

Are you sure you are actually hungry? I sometimes think I am hungry when really i am just bored.

Sometimes, while pregnant, we get used to eating whenever we want. This leads our bodies to think that unless our stomachs are FULL that we are hungry, when really, we aren't... we just ate. I know right now I am eating all day... snacks, mini-meals, handful of crackers here, an apple there. My body is now used to this eatting style. So, when I am no longer pregnant, I am going to have to "re-train" my body, mind and stomach into normal eatting patterns.

Could this be a problem for you?

 

Have you had your blood sugar levels checked (concerning the headaches)? I have severe headaches if I don't eat any carbohydrates in the day.

Have you tried eating small meals 5-6 times a day? Small breakfast, snack, small lunch, snack, small dinner. It keeps your metabolism going. NEVER skip breakfast if you are trying to diet. Protein at breakfast really gets the metabolism going. I like cottage cheese because it isn't heavy and you don't need to eat much (1/2 cup or so - i'm not much of a breakfast person), and it's quick, I'm all about the quick and easy to prepare stuff. Keep fruit on hand for sugar cravings, I like grapes cause they are easy, there's no pealing or chopping or anything. I also like to snack on pickles, they usually satisfy my cravings for salty and crunchy stuff. Also, cutting out the empty calories and sugars in sodas is an easy way to lose some weight, or at least ensure you don't gain more.

One thing that's worked for me (still working on it anyways) is to slowly cut the junk out of my diet. First I picked soda since I was having 1-2 a day (more on weekends). I completely cut it out and once I had it under control (meaning I stopped cheating) I started cutting most fast food out of my diet (I'll still grab a sandwich at the deli, but no more fried stuff). Currently I've cut potato chips out of my diet...okay, I'm still working on that one

My biggest problem is that I hate cooking and grocery shopping. Fast food was a staple of my diet for way too long.

 

Eat less and better, and get more cardio. More specifically, you have to burn more calories than you take in. I like running, myself, and I burn around 100 calories per mile. This amount will go down as you lose more weight.

It is impossible to not lose weight if you stick to this.

 

i have a book called French Women Never Get Fat. it has some great tips, you should look into it. its not dieting, its learning to be smart about your food, but still being able to enjoy things like chocolate.

 

I love this book. It's really helped me lose some weight. In the past two months I've lost fourteen pounds. Watching what you eat and walking really DOES help!

 

I've had my levels checked a few times, but none since I've had Leane.
Funny enough, my meals durning the day are all pretty small. My suppers are huge, which I think is probably a big problem, as it's at the end of the day. I never skip breaky...if I do, I get sick to my stomach.
Pickles are a great idea...too bad they're so pricey..... hell, everything is pricey when you're living off a college salary:& .....
I'm also gunna try the cottage cheese.
I have the same problem you did with the pop. Since starting this thread, I haven't had any pop. At all!!! I had a beer, though....probably undid it all there.....
I know that I really need to stop the snacks....it's so hard to walk past those candy dishes that my mom always has out filled with chocolate....nother thing that's going bye-bye when we move....
Oh, and I'm gunna go looking for that "french women never get fat" book....thanks!

Icedtea-yeah, I'm thinking that I might still be doing that....but not to the same extent.....like I said, when I was pregnant, I drank lots of water and tons of fruit and veggies, so I wish I could have STAYED with the eating habbits I had when I was preggers. I couldn't stand things like chocolate...the closest thing I had to candy was twislers.
But I definately do the "hungry when bored" thing. I find myself moseying on upstairs when I just ate a little bit ago......

 

you know, i've managed to cut garbage out of my diet for 99%of the time. i'm not so hard core that i won't enjoy junk food on occaision, but i do all my shopping in the outer, fresh food aisles. i haven't been an over eater for 17 years (when i was a stress-stuffer). but i'm not losing a single pound this time. fuck. sometimes the levels of my self loathing is so high i can barely function. i just dunno anymore.

 

Great idea. And don't let the doctor tell you, "It's a little low, but not low enough to treat." After you have had kids, especially if you have low energy, trouble with weight, dry skin ect even a "little low" thyroid can make a difference. Low thyroid can cause headaches, too. But, still, if they don't stop, see a doctor. You don't want to get into a pain pattern. Beleive me, once it is ingrained in your neuronal circiuts, you may have the pain for life. ALWAYS treat headaches.


And Icetea gave a great suggestion, water is sooooooo good for you. Ice, what is the reason oatmeal isn't good for breakfast? Glycemic? Or is it just for losing weight. It is one of the only decent things I can get Sage to eat most mornings, as she is not a breakfast person, and I can't let her go to school hungry.

 

you know, i always got the same result on my thyroid 'yeah, it's below normal, but we don't need to treat it." i've had zero energy and constant headaches all my life. i didn't put the two together. i was just told to watch my thyroid, but the fuckers never tell you WHY.

 

It is amazing what a little Armour Thyroxine can do. WHY doctors will give antibiotics at the drop of a hat, and not actually treat real problems, is amazing to me. (Not that antibiotics are never needed, Sage had Strep and I was glad to have them.) But, I think some docs do not like people diagnosing themselves, even if they ARE right.