Serious Advice. Please Add Yours.

Never visit a proctologist wearing wax lips.

 

A treadmill is not a mode of transportation

 

NEVER piss your pants during a job interview.

 

Never rest your balls on a strangers shoulder unannounced

 

One of my favorite pieces of advice:

Baffle them with bullshit and dazzle them with brilliance.

 

Dont play ball in the house.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiSpL_dsCxw

 

Crack is whack.

 

don't hurt each other, and clean up your mess.

 

Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

 

Reach for the light instead of the shadows

 

light and shadow are equally illusive of physical grasp. this pleases me that they are. two things people aren't able to horde/'privatize' and resell at userous profit.

good advice costs nothing and is worth the price.

 

true, but I was tired of the shadows yesterday......sometimes it is good to get out into the light....

 

absolutely true. and i'm sitting here like an idiot when there's a beautiful bright day outside and things i need to get out in it and be doing.

 

Never go swimmin' with bald-headed women.

-Popeye The Sailor Man

 

Never get personal with a chicken.

 

Never get personal with a goose!

 

Never forget to always remember to never forget to never trust your nuts to a lobster.

 

Grass before beer, in the clear.
Beer after grass, on yer ass.

 

Fixed that for ya

 

Another beer one:

Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
Beer before liquor, you'll get sicker.


Also don't shit where you eat.