Does anyone ever get this? Apparently, I have had it since a little child in a crib, as I was told that when my parents had friends and relatives over and I had to go to bed....I wanted them each to be on the couch in the room where my crib was, and I would take roll call.....I would say their name and they would have to answer something....lol I can still feel this sometimes......the separation anxiety from some people or animals....not very often....but I still experience the loneliness of it sometimes.
I have a little bit of OCD, it's not the same thing at all but I didn't know I had the problem till someone pointed out how I hate a door left open and a few other things. The separation thing,,, sometimes I need my "me" time and sometimes I want others around, can't say I get lonely too often because there is too much going on around me I think. I don't get time to feel lonely very often and when I am I do things like play on the computer, or take a nap or sit in my massage chair for a few rounds. Those three things always make me feel better but I know I should use that time for a walk. I think the trick is to find a hobby to make the mind feel busy.
No, I love my me time and have lots of it....unless you count be here talking to people not alone time....I spend alot of time alone not on th computer, as well......I could not survive without me/alone time..... Separation anxiety is different than that. I cannot really explain it.
I went to grade school with a girl who had separation anxiety really bad. The teacher had to hold her every day as she fought to try to get to her mom or dad (whichever one brought her into the schoolroom. Then the poor girl would cry for a while and then look sad the rest if the day. I'm not sure if she moved away or was home schooled later, but I never saw her again after that year of school.
Well, I never had that kind of case of it. I have always been pretty independant, too..... As I have said here many times already, my best friend as a little girl ws an 80 year old woman. She would visit me once a week when I was really tiny....and when she left I owuld be heartbroken, and hold her slippers that she left behind to feel close to her again.....but then again, my parents were having crazy drama all of the time, and this woman was my only refuge then.
I know, it's like you see someone but can't reach them kinda thing and thats what you want. For me tho I have a need to be away from them so it's kind of opposite for me. I am seriously the kind who could not live in the same town as family even tho I miss them lots. I love my parents and only get to see them a couple times a year and I can't wait to see them but once they are gone after a visit, it's kind of a relief too because I can't have too much of a good thing, I have to have my space more then or at least as much as the connection. But Yet connection is important still.
Even distant, you can have a connection with someone, but when that gets broken for whatever reason for only a little while, it can occur, too. I am a sensitive to people and their energies, too....I just always know for some reason. When my brother comes here for Thanksgiving every year, I knock myselff out cleaning and cooking, and feel a bit of relief when it is all over,t oo, although I do miss him.
I've always had it, a little. I know that I used to cry for hours every day when I first started going to school, for like two years! It was awful, but I got over it and never noticed it again until about two years ago when my partner at the time pointed out the face I make whenever he left the room. I realised that I hate the feeling of someone leaving, even if they're just walking out of the room I'm in, even if I wasn't really enjoying their company that much in the first place. It's weird. Happened whenever my cat left my bed too.
My son had it that bad for 4 years. He was age 4 -7. I would get it at that age also. If I had a lengthy absence from school then I'd go through it all over again. My daughter is totally different. She's always been very independent.
I believe in attachment parenting to help prevent this. Obviously things work differently for each situation, but children who are raised with attachment parenting tend to be more secure and independent, IMO.
What the counselor told me was that it was a power struggle between my son and myself. You know, like he wanted to see if he could win at getting to stay home. It may have been.
Yeah, that could have been your situation, Ari... I responded to Mama feeling her description suited what I had. My mom coud not be any one's mother the way they needed them to be.
and if I want to do more thorough self examination, the reason I can be so lovey to all people, is that is what I needed.....probably..... My mom was great in other ways...always made sure I had medical attention for the slightest little thing.....and things....I ever went without food, clothing, shelter....etc. She did not know how to be any one's mom, either. Her mom sucked. the thing that was was missing was the real emotional bond. I was always terrified of my mom....and hurt by her.
There's a lot of controversy surrounding it. People see it as spoiling them. That's a load of shit though. You can never show your kids too much love.
My mom sucked in a lot of ways as well. She had me when she was 16, and didn't really know what she was doing. She was still growing up when I was being raised. Also, she had one hell of a bad temper issue. As a mother, I can always break the cycle though.
Hmm.. I definitely had this pretty bad as a kid and over the years I've figured out why. My parents fought constantly, I never once in my life saw them hug or kiss. I remember being 5 years old and thinking any given day could be the last day I saw my family together under the same roof. This resulted in me developing an unnatural fear that any given time could be the last time I see a person. One morning my dad dropped me off at daycare and I started balling because I thought he might not pick me up in the afternoon. Maybe my mom would instead. I developed a bit of ocd because of this. When I was 7 my parents divorced (seemingly) randomly. I was picked up from daycare by my mom and taken somewhere other than home and was told we wouldn't be living there anymore. Unfortunately I still get odd thoughts of, "What if I never see her/him again," when I part with someone. I have a partner whom I love and adore immensely, and I do get some sort of loneliness when we part for work and stuff. Now if you'll excuse me, I should probably put in a wash after airing out this dirty laundry.. Lol
I had bad separation anxiety as a kid and my parents weren't very affectionate so we weren't close, but I also didn't trust anyone else except for my parents. I also thought something horrible might happen to them while I was at school, yeah, I had ocd as a kid too.. I hated school. A lot of the early memories I have are of me crying when being dropped off at school (from ages 3-6.. I went to preschool). Some days my older brother had to drop me off at class and I remember following him all the way to the other side of campus where the big kids were, lol. I still hated school after the crying subsided but I guess I did grow out of the crying. As an adult, I still have separation anxiety. I really do grow attached to people. I'm clingy and very affectionate.. I tend to smother people and this is suffocating to some, I guess. I don't like to be left alone. I don't like feeling a sense of abandonment. I hate good byes. I never say good bye, just see ya later.
