second time around

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself!' started by mchip, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. mchip

    mchip Member

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    Hello All,

    After an 18 year relationship, 16 years of marriage I'm now a divorced dad of two boys, 13 and 14. I'm living a few miles down the road from them and spend every weekend and a couple of nights a week with them.

    I'm also in a new and healthy relationship with a woman I adore. She's also divorced a few years ago and has kids that are friends with my sons. We're working through a lot of issues with mean and hateful ex-spouses. In both of our cases there was alcoholism and psychological abuse.

    I didn't realize how much damage an abusive relationship can do to a person until I removed myself from the situation and had time to reflect. I really didn't realize how bad it was until after the divorce and my friends and family started sharing what they had seen with me. Very enlightening.
     
  2. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

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    sorry that you went through such a bad marriage, but it's good that things are better now

    hello and welcome!
     
  3. Dude111

    Dude111 An Awesome Dude HipForums Supporter

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    Welcome to the site :)
     
  4. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    Your out of it...thats what matters...dont waste time looking back to much...look forward with your new partner...and enjoy every moment...
    Welcome to our house...enjoy us too...
     
  5. FRUITACO

    FRUITACO Member

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    Your living my exact life. Except for being in a relationship now. Im divorced an have 2 daughters. I see them on the weekends. An I pay 700.00 a month in child support for both of them. I really hate my ex wife. An will NEVER get along with her. Anyway, Im glad your in a much better and healthy relationsip. going threw a divorce with cildren involved an hateing your ex wife is a really tough situation. had to do meadiation an went to court 6 different times. Well welcome ! Im new to this site as well. I kinda became addicted to it in the last 3 days. It's a cool site an all the people seem cool.
     
  6. BeachBall

    BeachBall Nosey old moo

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    Hi there mchip :seeya:

    Sorry to hear you've been through the mill. But glad to see you've come out the other side and you're still standing.
     
  7. mchip

    mchip Member

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    Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm really moving into a good spot now and am living without much hate or regret at all. Even though my marriage ended I have two awesome boys that are super close to me and a lot of good memories from my marriage as well. I'm trying to move myself towards a life of no regrets and no hate. It seems both emotions crush me anyway so I feel it's best to find a way to be happy or at least accepting of my past and content with where I am now.
     
  8. BeachBall

    BeachBall Nosey old moo

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    That sounds good, m.

    One of the things I do is teach navigation. I always tell people that when they are lost, there are only two questions that matter:

    1. Where the *$%^!* am I? and
    2. How do I get from where I am to where I want to be

    The questions "how did I get to where I am now", and "who's fault is it that I am here, not somewhere else" simply do not have any place ... so don't ask them, still less waste effort trying to answer them.
     

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