Searching

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself!' started by Hippy small town, Aug 27, 2005.

  1. Dear People:
    I am a 52 year old hippy who grew up, yes, in the 60's and 70's. After that era or life, I hadn't thought of myself as a hippy until the past few years, but that is what I am. When I was young I was free, growing in a small town in New York State with lots of orchards, woods, and farmland. I used to be very open and outgoing and had my friends was a lover of the physical life.
    But, now and then, I'd get into these search modes and for periods of time, quit my drugs and drinking, and read the Bible and have those type questions about Jesus (general) that many have. I went out to Tucson as a traveller and ended up meeting these people about my age at the time and from the same lifestyle with the longhair, etc., but they had these big Bibles. And, being in my search mode, I thought this was really it, because they really seemed to know "the Lord", because they could quote the scripture from cover to cover without opening the Bible. To make a long story short, I got heavily involved with this group, they were heavily into the "end-times" and setting dates and making predictions about the end of the world and the rapture sort of thing. Now, this was all new to me. It turns out after their date did not bring the Lord (JUne 1981), that I realized they were a cult. And, it has it's consequences after you are brainwashed and disappointed by the them using the Bible for their interpretation that was not true.
    It's a long story, but I haven't been the same since. I mean I left the group in 1983, and would never return to it (for they are still a group), but the point is I wasn't looking for this prophecy stuff on my travels, although I had questions about this Jesus, salvation, forgiveness stuff. It was better if I hadn't run into them. In my hippy days, when partying and listening to my music, I think I heard about one of these type groups out West (they seem to be out West more). Something, about waiting for the Lord and this woman or someone set a day for the Lord's return, but I didn't think anything of it; in fact, I may have thought it a little strange or "out". The group (and this is ironic) had me cut my hair, telling me it was a sin to have longhair and showed me scripture. So, it is a real cult.
    Over the last 14 years, I've been dealing with this cultic experience still.
    In the inside so to speak. I became homeless 8 years ago, which I never was. Well, when I was young, yes, my friends and I would travel around not having much money, and sleep on the beach or shack up with someone who knew a friend back in our hometown, and I guess that is homeless, but we never thought of it as being homeless. But, when I was older with a job and place and then fell on financial dire straits, then I guess that is homeless.
    I've been alone for about 14 years, and still travelling and have been back in Tucson now since March 2003. One of the main things I want to say is since the last 14 years, I have had alot of abuse and harassment from people of all walks of life for no reason. It's all new to me and have never experienced such things before, being in a small town. We weren't violent. We didn't contribute to society, but we weren't violent either. But, all of this stuff I experience now just about everyday, is really something. It wears you down and I'm tired from it. I mean on the bus, on the steet, in the work place, at the restaurant; I'm not exaggerating when I say people are cruel to me for just me being there. Not as a hippy, but I really don't know why, but it all comes toward and I am not bothering or provoking anyone. Anyone, have any idea what and why it is
    ? It is alot.
    There is much more, but I want to tell you that all of this over this period of time is drawing back to some remote place (like the woods I miss). I'd like just leave this city life and it's crimes and go somewhere peaceful. That is not the whole answer, but it is a start and it will I'm sure. To be around the scenery, etc. that really is me and what I grew up with. I miss so much and my heart is heavy. But, at the same time this is of the utmost importance, I have no money. I have bills and trying to get work now, but was set back a few months ago and it wasn't my fault.
    Can you tell me of any communes where they take visitors or people with little or no money, but I'd be willing to help or work to compensate? The point is to go to be with nature. To feel that coolness of the air, etc. I am tired.
    Maybe the people also will be more friendly and helpful to me in my quest and search and/or "getting back to the Garden".
    Thank you for your time and any reply. I am looking for actual places to go like communes or farms or where people have a house or something. And, of course, out in the mountains or somewhere remote, etc. Yes, there were communes in the 60's and 70's, but I never attended one, but my friends had a farm and we'd go there as a retreat or hang out to party and be ourselves and nobody bothered us. By the way, I do not do drugs now and haven't for many, many years. I don't break the law, because if you get caught that's it. But, there are other reasons. I just have no desire for it or think of it, because to be in the mountains, I get high off of that.

    Sincerely,
    Hippy Small Town
     
  2. Oh,wow,it sounds like you have been through alot. I am very very sorry about your cult experience,and the cruelty you are experiencing from our fellow humans. I don't understand how anyone could be so cruel for no reason at all. It worries me to think of what this earth may be coming to. People can be quite horrible in America. I have only had good experiences with foreign countries. I lived in Ireland and Argentina for awhile and everyone was much nicer. I don't know of any communes,but in about 2 years I'm hoping to move far from where I live now to find spiritual peace and start a commune of my own with a few close friends. I'm looking towards the rural New York,maybe Canada...or if I decide to move out of the states I'll start one in the Nederlands or Germany,maybe Ireland or Chile. I haven't had good luck with people myself. I never feel welcome or wanted wherever I go. I have very,very few friends and acquaintances...it's quite ironic because I'm never cruel to anyone,I'm just...there,man. But I really really hope that you find happiness to live the rest of your life in peace. Blessed be.
     
  3. sensamelia

    sensamelia hippy mom

    well thats quite a story you tell there friend.....you are always going to come across pregidice in what ever you choose to do .i really feel for you with what you have gone through as i too have gone through a lot in my 42 years.life i have found is not easy and have had to really work hard. as for a commune were you could go .you dont say were you are from but if you could get a cheap flight over here i could sort you out with some of my friends who are in a commune down south.i really do hope everything works out for you ........you know i get stared at and sneered at for the clothes i wear just because they are different than the so called fashion......
     

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