I met this guy in college, were in the same program. Policing. When we met, there was instant mutual attraction and it was obvious to everyone who observed. Our situations in life are kind of similar and education being priority. I was so happy to have been able to meet someone who wants what I want in life. But I had this gut feeling all was not what it seemed. I am a very straight forward person. I dont like to beat around the bush so this situation is very conflicting. When we started seeing each other, I told him I liked him. But something was off and I am not sure what it is. He said there could be nothing. I said please, dont hurt my feelings. So I have been to his place, the first time I seen a card on his fridge, it said "to my someone special, love lisa" He insisted that this was only a close friend okay. The next time i go over to work on a school project, I use his computer and realize not by snooping but by it showing his recent activity on the screen - i see he is registered on sites such as tagged.com, adult friend finder, and nakedworld.com(a swinger and alternative lifestyle site) to name a few. I dont say anything to him about it but i did keep reminding him not to hurt me, as I have been hurt badly before. He assures me, "He is not seeing anyone else, he is a grown man and doesnt have time for games, let alone dates in between school, working and his kids. And that he has not had sex in over 6 months." Okay. I decide that is okay. I dont want to overthink it. Sooo the next time I go to his place (Valentines Day) we spend the day together. I am using his computer and he goes to the bathroom. I check if those sites are still in his recent activity. Yep. There it is tagged number 1. I go to the site through his computer and he is signed in. He has a new msg so i decide to read it. It is a message from a girl, i read some of the correspondence. She is telling him, if he is seeing any other girls to leave her alone blah blah blah. HE REPLYS TO HER "I am not seeing any other people, I am a grown man and dont have time for games!" wow shocker. So i quickly check the other site, nakedworld.com. I check his msgs he is meeting someone on sunday. i see his profile comments and one says "Beware, this guy has a girlfriend and is on multiple sites." I dont say anything to him about it. He drives me home and tells me about this experience he had at a swingers club. He tells me, he was dating this girl he really liked as we drove by her street, but he found out she sleeps around. And he is not into that. The whole time i want to ask him about his sites but i dont. The next day saturday his phone is off, he doesnt contact me at all. He is online on the colleges website. I go to nakedworld.com and see they are advertising a big swingers party. We have had sex and I felt like this could have been something really special. But i am really confused. Actually I am hurt. I would just like your thoughts, or if you have had any experiences like this. Please dont be rude. Thank you
You're spying on the guy, reading his messages... how could that be good? And he's lying to you. Confrontation, what for? Lies? I'm-sorry-s said because he was caught? Your story together is so short, I'd think it's better to end it now than settle for a spy-lie relationship.
