Been diagnosed recently with schizoid. When I read about symptoms I feel like reading about myself. I've been like this my whole life, I don't want to change, I'm scared of change. I feel like I will loose something positive after being cured. Something that is making me, me. Character? Intelligence? I was planning my whole life based on my schizoid character, and now I should just toss it all away? Any schizoids here?
For years I thought I might be slightly schizoid because I have always been very reclusive and never much cared for the company of others. In fact, being around people has always made me uncomfortable, and I often feel as though I have to compromise my individuality to appease others, and I really hate that. However, lately I find myself desiring rewarding relationships with people (women especially). Unfortunately, I rarely have the opportunity to meet new people, and on the rare occasion that I do, they're people I'd rather not be around, so I revert back to my reclusive shell and immerse myself in solitary, somewhat intellectual things like books, documentaries, music, as well as things like exercise and fitness, etc. I do think I have schizoidal tendencies, but I am not sure I would fit the full criteria for a diagnosed schizoid personality. And for those reading this who attribute schizoid to schizophrenia... they are not the same. Schizoid people are mostly people who simply keep to themselves and have little desire for relationships with others. They are hermits and loners who prefer the company of their thoughts to the company of others. I think that describes myself in a pretty big way, though I sometimes do find myself plagued by loneliness (but still probably not to the degree most isolated people feel lonely). From my understanding, schizoids never feel lonely.
Well then--I guess I qualify as schizoid . But I never thought of myself that way. A loner--yes. I don't seek friends, but I'm quite garrulous around most everyone when I'm out and about. Some people are just born shy--maybe you're one of those?
Oh God, Matt, after reading your last sentence.... I never, ever, ever feel lonely. I was reading along with your post (both posts) thinking "yea, I have those tendencies too. I really like to be by myself and if not by myself with 1 or just a couple other people..."- then I get to the last sentence and it stopped me in my tracks. Because I really never feel lonely. In any case, yes, PR is right that schizoid is not like schizophrenia. Schizoid is one of the "personality disorders"---- (not saying I agree or disagree that it's a "disorder", just what it's classified as). Two totally different things. Also, I think A LOT of people if not most people have tendencies or traits of various personality disorders without actually having the disorder. Just like with OCD... it's really just a continuum with personality disorders and w things like OCD how far along the spectrum you are. You can have many traits and not have the disorder. So, for me I don't really think I am schizoid but I do think I have some traits. (and btw, maybe I would get lonely sometimes if I lived alone... I am never really alone for more than an evening so maybe I just don't know if I would eventually get lonely...)--- So, also, for me and OCD I do not have OCD, BUT I'll be damned if I don't check the store and the door locks about ten times each before going to bed at night. Every night.
The last time I remember feeling lonely was (yes, I can remember this) in the year 2000... early in the summer after my ex killed himself and before I met my hubby.
I am actually much less shy than I used to be. I can actually come across quite gregarious and charming when I want to, but I find it to be draining because it's really not who I am. I just feel that most friendships people have are so superficial and hollow. I listen to people's conversations sometimes and they sound like such bullshit and empty blather. I only speak what I believe to be the truth, and most people don't like that. I just feel like I am at odds with most people, and have little interest in their views, opinions, tastes, etc. I realize this makes me come across as arrogant and like I feel I am better than other people, but that is honestly not how it is. I just find most people's company to be ultimately soul-sucking, yet I yearn to find someone I can truly connect with.
Interesting take on schizoid personalities being linked to narcissism. I have never considered myself a narcissist, but after watching this video I'm not so sure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO6dAFgKa8g"]Schizoid Personality Disorder - YouTube
I just tried reading up on the subject. So apparently fear of emotional intimacy is one of the core characteristics. I don't think being a hermit by itself means that you have schizoid personality. Ultimately the label that someone else puts on you has only so much meaning. The real question is of your own quality of life. You don't really have a disease, imo, unless you yourself are dissatisfied with your life.
It is not the shyness per-se, its just not feeling comfortable when around people. Whenever I have choice, I'd rather be alone. Sometimes people ask me to go out and do something, but I just know I won't enjoy it. Won't enjoy their mindless small-talk, talking about people, emotions and day-to-day crap that happens. I get lonely very, very rarely and it usually passes quickly. Most of my time I spent alone, to the point that I've pretty much isolated myself from everybody. I wouldn't mind actually talking with someone or having a relationship, but it would have to be somehow interesting for me. And from choices that I had I have always choosen to be alone. -- Rat, you sound either strongly introverted or 'secret schizoid' Keep in mind that I barely know you and I'm basing it off few sentences you wrote...
You know that quote...that sometimes whatever problems you're having, it's just because you're surrounded by assholes...or the important people in your life, are just not the right kinds of people for you. I can't really imagine that anyone can be uncomfortable around everyone...sometimes people just haven't had a chance to connect with people who are more like them, but I think it's super important to find your kind of people...if you can't find your kind of people, maybe you do have an issue. If you're unsatisfied with your life, you might be so surprised at how big of an impact the right kind of people in your life might improve things.
not being surrounded by anyone = not being surrounded by any assholes = not having these problems? I'm comfortable around my parents and very few friends I have, yet still I feel like I'm hiding a part of myself. Even if I find people that are 'my kind' or 'kinda my kind' it is still hard to connect with them, takes alot of time for me. In other words I'm happy when I'm alone. Going to shops or public places doesn't make me anxious, but uncomfortable. I don't feel that unsatisfied either to be honest. I've been pointed out that I'm missing out on life and I don't want to ruin the rest of it.
Why do you have to change if you're happy being who you are? I read up on this a little and it doesn't really seem to be something you need to fix. If you truly desire companionship and feel your life is incomplete without it by all means push yourself to connect with others. However I don't really see it as a disease needing to be cured.
Well, I've been prescribed atypical antipsychotic and I have to make a decision if I want to risk and leave it as it is, or also risk and take antipsychotics. I've asked dr. if that disorder can be futher progressing and he said yes. He said I might get paranoid, might start thinking that people are somehow against me. Don't know if this can develop into schizophrenia though, should have asked him... I'd like to have a partner (probably another schizoid), but how am I supposed to find one, if people perceive me as cold, deteached, freak, crazy eccentric genious (few people actually called me that) Plus it kind of fits my case, I didn't share the rest of the story. Dr. suspected bi-polar but he kept saying he wasn't sure. I got on meds, they've fixed my depression and now he says I'm schizoid. He said that sometimes clinical depression goes alongside schizoid and in this case it makes perfect sense.
If I am schizoid at all, I would not say that I am a "secret schizoid." I know what those are, and those are the schizoids who are outwardly outgoing and even appear to excel socially. I would say that most people who know me would describe me as quiet, and there probably are times when I appear awkward (or at least that's how I feel). That's not to say I am a mute or anything, but I really am the type of person who speaks only when they're spoken to, since I feel that I have nothing to say otherwise. My views and opinions are so far gone from everyone else that to say what's on my mind brings derision or just confused, uncomfortable looks. It just seems like so many people are not capable of grasping anything outside of what the media feeds them. I don't talk politics with people, because politics are a farce. I certainly don't talk about sports, as sports are an even bigger mass opiate than religion. And it's rare that I meet anyone with the same flair for music, health, alternate history and what is deemed "conspiratorial" thought. Other than talking about things I am interested in and passionate about, communicating with someone in the context of small talk just seems so forced and completely artificial to me. This is why I find most social interaction to be a joke, and I almost feel like I am saying that as if it's a fact as opposed to just simply my opinion.
