Same-sex friendships: double standards?

I will admit I watch very little television, given the shoddy quality of most that is aired these days, but, I have noticed, in many commercials, same-sex friendships are commonly depicted, but, almost overwhelmingly, female.

There are many commercials showing two galpals going out to eat, shopping, taking a walk, etc.

There are also commercials where a group of female friends are all together, enjoying thier companionship.

However, commercials depicting male/male friendships are almost nil (at least, on the regular networks)

In car commercials, I've seen two women in a car, having a chat, but, whenever a male is in the car with someone elsde, it is, invaribly, a female.

Even in "sports" commercials, seeing a bunch of male-only buddies enjoying a game is rare; here again, it is as though though the advertiser HAS to include females in his commercials, so no one will think that (horror of horrors) that these buddies MIGHT be gay (or bi)

For the life of me, female/female friendships seem to be accepted as "normal", whereas male/male friendships are subject to scrutiny.

No one seems to care if two female friends in a commercial MIGHT be lesbians, but, showing male buds (platonic) out on a boat, dining together, etc., seems to raise a red flag.....we CANNOT have ANYONE think these dudes MIGHT be gay partners(!!)

To me, there seems to be a double-standard at work here; where I worked, a lot of straight guys loved watching lesbian porn.....THEN....GAY was OK.

BUT, the thought of two MALES having sex with each other.......well, let's just say that to say they were turned off entirely.....or revolted by the mere thought, is indeed, an understatement.

Hypocriscy and labeling were never, and never be, my style.

Thanks for allowing me to "vent" here.......

 

I stream all of what I watch these days through Hulu, Peacock etc and get a lot of commercials for Prep, and meds for hiv depicting male gay relationships.

 

Sonic drive thru has a long running series of commercials with two guys in a car eating lunch. I've seen some sports bar commercials. But you are right, it's mostly 2 women, or a group of women, rarely a group of guys, unless for a football or TV commercial. There always has to be a reason for a group of guys together, but none for women.
I've read articles that even many bi women don't want to be with bi men. Though there are women into watching gay porn, and into it in real life. I have a local online friend who is into watching guys. Talking to another whose wife enjoys watching hom submit to guys.
So they are out there, seem to be a small minority of women, but the attitudes are changing!

 

I hear you, my friend/

How many times, you see two close buddies (even IF they ARE straight) and, some *%#@!* will invaribly think, "Oh, two queers".

But, again, two GIRLFRIENDS are seen together, it's like the general attitude is "two girlfriends together...big deal."

Being that I am greatly interested in history, I've learned that, at one time (especially among soldiers of the Civil War-era) it was not uncommon for these soldiers to wright affectionate and caring letters to male friends at home.

How many of these soldiers hared beds/bunks with other men (you know some m/m sex HAD to have occurred, at some point)

Recall, Abraham Lincoln is often thought of at least being bi (he had VERY strong feelings with his best friend Joshua Speed, who he shared a bed with for quite a stretch)

Of course, this is neither here nor there.

Too, I can remember, long ago, seeing two programs where a prominent male character is seen "on the couch", baring his sould to a FEMALE therapist (again, it's like there is something "queer" about a man "opening up his feelings" to another man.

What nonsense!

Being a REAL man (sexuality NOT important) has nothing to do with this overrated "Johnny Macho" routine; it's your PRIDE, your BACKBONE, and your INTEGRITY that makes you a REAL man.

Too, look at how many times you'll read of guys who had VERY tight friendships with another male, UNTIL the other guy gets serious with a woman, marries, and now has little or no inclination to "bond" with his old buddy.

Gay/bi men who DO enjoy a CLOSE friendship with another male (even if only platonic) have more going for them then they realize.......

 

......for want of a better terminology, "male bonding", these days, seems to be frowned upon and suspect by many "straight" or "uptight" males.

When you catch a baseball game on television, and watch the men on the winning team hugging each other tightly and embracing each other enthusiasticly after they've won the game, one cannot help but wonder if there are a lot of "frustrated bonding" emotions inside these guys, and, situations like this give them the chance to embrace and bond with their pals without any sort of "suspicion" by any narrow-minded "macho men"......

 

"Double standard", or, just plain hypocritical......

Amazing how so many straight "religious" church-going men think that gay and bi men are evil abominations, and, yet, think nothing of cheating on their wives (with other women) or frequenting (female) prostitutes..

Working with many such men for nearly 25 years.....believe me, I know.......

 

I understand your gripes here ,however I think that's a little unfair to tar all straight guys with the same brush . I'm straight but dont think that way and I have good friend who is Gay.No doubt there will be a small number that are double standard but thats perhaps down to there being more straight people within society.

 

I hear you; by no means was insinuating that ALL straight men are of that ilk........most certainly, you are a fellow who is both open-minded and intelligent.

My best friend from the workplace (RIP) was 15 years older than myself (and TOTALLY staight), knew what my orientation was, and could not have cared less.

We could not have been closer had we been actually brothers; if more straight men could have thought and felt as he did.

One of the "higher ups" at work was one of the biggest bigots of all time; he wore a small cross of his badge and came across as a "good, upstanding family man".

Well, he also one of the biggest "whoremongers" there was (everyone knew it) and used his position to "bring in the trade" for the other "good family men"....."HYPOCRISY" with a capital "H".

But, also, there WERE men like yourself who were totally straight, but also, TOTALLY opened-minded, and simply accepted another guy for what he was.

As I was at the same workplace for nearly 25 years, I saw and heard a lot that was not pleasant.

After awhile, I chose to ignore these narrow-minded $^%*&((@ and focus on the DECENT fellows (and there were many)........

 

........I would think it has to be especially difficult for gay/bi men who live within the "Bible belt:.

If living in a more "liberal" urban area can often be quite difficult, I can imagine what it must be like for gay/bi men living in "holy roller" territory.

I have tremendous respect for religious men who are true to their faith, but do not use that faith as an excuse for bigotry (of ANY sort) to others.....

 

.....even if a gay/bi male does not live within the "bible belt", if he comes from a devoutly religious family, it can be very daunting (and requiring much courage, to say the least), to "come out" about his sexuality.

All one can do is either "open up", or remain closeted.

Though I am no Bible scholar, even I know that, somewhere amongst its thousands of pages, it says, '"judge not, lest ye be judged"......

That one line indeed speaks volumes, and profoundly so......

 

.....just caught a quick glimpse of a commercial (for what i do not know), featuring two men talking to each other in a driveway (or yard)

I said to myself, "Great! A 'buddy' commercial.....no women!"

Guess what?

The camera pans to their WIVES watching them!

I thought to myself, "It's like the advertisers HAVE to make 100% sure that any given male(s) in our commercial CANNOT even remotely be perceived as possibly GAY!"

Again, two FEMALES together cannot possibly be perceived as LESBIAN.

But, two MEN are together.......man, the alarm bells are sounding off!!

I am no expert on any sort of relationships or perceived relationships these days (then again, I'm not expert in anything!) but it really seems as though male/male friendships (even the most platonic) are frowned upon.

If female/female friendships can (and are) celebrated, so should friendships between MALES.

Perhaps, I am a bit overly-sensitive on this issue, but, this nonsense simply rankles me.....