Rights (not just for gays, but for bisexuals)

We hear of gay rights (and these rights, I feel have been TOO LONG in coming), but, I have noticed (as a gay man) that you never hear of "bisexual rights".

From the many discussions and views I have read here over the months, it would seem that "bisexual" is sort of a "limboland" between straight and gay.

Bisexual rights, on their own, at least, seem to be more or less "lumped in" with gay rights.

Gays have their own identities and sexualities; likewise, bisexuals.

As is (sadly) the case with gays, I have heard, over the years, far too many derogatory comments, remarks, and jokes made at the expense of bisexuals.

I do not find them funny in the least; in fact, I do not advocate ANY joke that puts ANYONE (regardless of race, color, religion, or sexuality) into a non-flattering, insulting, degrading spotlight.

As a masculine gay man (celibate 66 years) I know that there are so many issues and obstacles that all gays have to encounter, every day of their lives.

Bisexuals, being attracted to both sexes, have to deal with many issues that gays to not have to deal with, often involving wives, children, and friends.

From what I have read here over time, it cannot be at all easy, at least for most bisexual males, especially if they are married.......

"Live long and prosper"

 

When it all boils down to is (when "push comes to shove") is that it is really all about HUMAN rights; after all, we ARE all HUMANS, and we ALL deserve to be treated EQUALLY, and with dignity, respect, and understanding, REGARDLESS of our sexual orientation, race, religion, or ethnic background...........

"Live long and prosper"

 

thepapasmurph:

EXCELLENT post; your comments, as usual, speak many volumes.

Nowadays (and I am sure you have noticed) just how much of a stranglehold hate in general has gained in virtually every aspect of our daily lives.

Look at road rage; "civilized" humans killing one another over parking spaces.

Too, look at someone crossways, or accidentley bumping into someone in the subway now brings the strong possibility that a stabbing or a shooting may result.

The past few years have seen a tremendous increase in hate crimes against Jews, African-Americans, Asians, and gays.

Sickening.

And a sad commentary, indeed, on our society as a whole.

Don't even get me started on mass shootings and rampant gun violence; children (and their teachers) are not even safe in their schools today.

Getting back to bisexuals, I was not aware (until reading the posts of many bi men here) that there is often quite a "gap" between gays and bisexuals, at least among older members of the "community".

Certainly, I cannot see why there has to be mistrust.....none whatsoever.

Regarding (most) straights, WHEN they think of the gay community, it is usually in a condescending, bigoted way (BIG surprise, here)

When I was still working in New York, I heard far too many off-color jokes about bi men; as with gay jokes, I found none funny, and all were offensive and dgrading.

As you certainly know by this time, orientation, race, religion, skin color....they all mean nothing to me.

Like Dr, Martin Luther King, I would far prefer to judge a man by the CONTENT of his character, for that is what TRULY makes a man what he is, in my eyes.....

"Live long and prosper"

 

Current rhetoric would have you believe that bisexuals are having their rights trampled on and like homosexuals had/have to put up with and... I'm sorry but I don't agree that, as a bisexual, my rights are being fucked with and more so when only those who are closest to me knows that I'm bisexual - so how can my other rights be fucked with? I've never been dissed or otherwise refused things like housing or employment because I'm bi and, honestly, the color of my skin has been responsible for this crap and more than anything else about me. I've felt that this "rights" discussion comes up because as far as a lot of people are concerned, bisexuals and homosexuals are all the same, which is inherently stupid when you just consider that the two words are different and with very different meanings - but people are stupid, aren't they?

And there's no hope that they're going to get smarter any time soon. Not really my problem because I protect my rights fiercely and woe be unto you to fuck with them.

 

KDaddy, glad to see you join this forum after reading your posts elsewhere.

I do have to disagree with you about there being no discrimination for being bi, though.
I've personally been subject to just the speculation of it at one workplace despite being in a hetero marriage. And I guarantee you I never said a word to anyone there. They provoked me verbally once, then physically by pinching my nipples at an off-site holiday party to try to get me to admit it, or start a fight, which would've only made things ten times worse for me. A few more non sexually oriented things were tried to provoke me to self destruct, but I kept my cool, so they 'downsized' me instead four months later. I had a slam dunk federal case per an employment lawyer relative, who advised me to walk away, it wasn't worth the stress for the payout. Many other discriminations will be done covertly, to make you want to leave, and be impossible to prove in small & private companies, not required to keep emails, if you're even lucky enough that it was brazenly discussed.

At a former public company, the plant manager led bible study classes on site, and I'm in a major metro area of a blue state. He was mad an unmarried 22 yr old intern lived with her boyfriend - in her parents own home no less!
I'd have been gotten rid of by him if I was publicly bi! Hell, I got pressure for not joining the bible study!

I've done something that publicly & permanently shows me as an LGBTQ ally. I'll always have to watch my back for bigoted religious zealot coworkers trying to undermine me for what I chose to support, even if presenting as outwardly straight. And be careful of working for small privately owned companies where certain protections don't even exist due to their size.

I think now, enough people understand being lesbian or gay that they tolerate it, even if they still don't like it or agree with it. It's not 'confusing' to them? But being bi is still confusing to hetero's, gays and lesbians, & makes people uncomfortable that we aren't all one way, or all the other? And when people aren't comfortable with some aspects, they keep it away from them one way or another.

 

If the old saying is true-"Ignorance is bliss"-then we surely reside in a society where all is bliss 24/7; really sad the low plateau hurtful-and intolerant-bigots will stoop to-to degrade and taunt another who is different than they-do not wish to understand-----or to at least exhibit tolerance to--------------------

 

@Suburbanray, I like that you disagree. I've never experienced it. No bisexual that I know personally has experienced it. At that high level of thought, bisexuality advocates keep citing discrimination as a problem for bisexuals when, in fact, it's a problem for anyone that can be discriminated against. I've been dissed for jobs because I'm a Black male. Or just Black. Or just male. Or my age at times. Same with housing. But never because of my sexuality because I'm not going to tell them because it's none of their business and they can speculate all they want to... and fuck with me at your own peril.

I'd never say that people don't get discriminated against because they're bi but I do not believe it's the "epidemic" that advocates say it is. They say that if you're bi, you will be discriminated against and... how does that work when your sexuality is unknown and unproven to those who just might discriminate because they believe they have the right to? And, by the way: Pinch my nipples at a party and find out what'll happen - chance are you're not going to like my reaction. How the fuck can someone make you admit to something you don't have to admit to? Start a fight? Yeah, I can do that and try to fire me if I do... and it's not job-related. I dare you. See, you let them get away with that shit and for good reason - I wouldn't have. Touch me without my permission and I hope you have good insurance. The fact of this matter is that if people are going to fuck with you, they'll do whatever they can get away with - and I'd not call that discrimination but being outright and clannish assholes.

But if you let it be known that you're bi or an ally, yeah - I guess you can expect to be discriminated against or, at the very least, have hatred directed toward you because if you're not like or with us, you're against us and you will be dealt with. We cannot get away from this ingrained behavior and you have a choice: Ignore it and go on with your life or keep being in a position to be a victim of our gross ignorance and lack of understanding. Just my thirty-five cents worth and coming from a guy who knows what it's really like to be discriminated against.

 

If the old saying is true-"Ignorance is bliss"-then we surely reside in a society where all is bliss 24/7; truly it is really sad the low plateau hurtful-and intolerant-bigots will stoop to-to degrade and taunt another who is different than they-do not wish to understand-----or to at least exhibit tolerance to--------------------intolerance-whether it be racial/religious/sexual orientation-is not only truly despicable-it also shows you just how truly ignorant certain people can be------but we forge ahead to be better than they are and rise to a plane far beyond their pathetic pettiness and ignorance------------

 

But ignorance isn't bliss; what you don't know can hurt you, too. On the whole, we can't handle the truth that there are men who aren't gay but they're not exactly straight, either. I have always said that bisexuality takes everything you think you know about love, sex, and even relationships and throws it all into the trash... because who in their right mind would want both? It defies that "pick a side" bullshit and exposes how ignorant we are of our own sexual behaviors to believe that people - and men in particular - are either straight or gay and I'm not seeing any blissfulness involved here.

We have yet to get past our fear of the other; we have yet to outgrow our tribal nature - if you're not like us, you're against us. Now, you're either going to keep paying attention to all of this bad behavior or you're just going to note that it exists and... go on about the business of living your life as a bisexual. For myself, it's saddening to see that even in 2023, we have learned nothing...