Rest in peace, dear existence

Discussion in 'The Whiners' started by bird_migration, Jun 12, 2006.

  1. This is the opening of my new poem.
    The other words will come later. I hope you like the opening and I hope it caught your attention and makes you yearn for more.
  2. mhmm... i want more. :)
  3. Orsino2

    Orsino2 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    How rare.
  4. When I get more I will post it directly. At the moment I am pondering a very strong and charismatic second line.
  5. haha...ok. :) i'm looking forward to seeing it...
  6. Okay, I got two very strong second lines.
    I let you be the judge and pick one (or none). If you pick none I will think of a few others.

    1. 'Rest forever and again'

    2. 'Thy work is done, this is the end'
  7. i won't pick any of them, cuz it should be your poem. :)

    don't think much, just write the way you feel it. ;)
  8. Indeed, most poets do that, but I want to be different.
    Creating a poem is a very straining process and I want to ease things a bit by getting help and not having to make all the literary decisions myself.
  9. gulfwinds

    gulfwinds girasoles para los amigos

    it's called an epitaph....
    i love how this place got gloomy&dark all of a sudden....
    you guys make me feel at home :eek:
  10. ok, in that case i choose 2.
  11. Rest in peace, dear existence
    thy work is done, this is the end

    That is what I have so far. Now I will be thinking of the third line and I will try to make it as strong and meaningful as the first two. This one goes out to all hippies in general and to the young hippies specifically.
  12. Politics are awesome

    Politics are awesome Politics suck

    oh yay, nearly a renga party.
  13. joo kyle

    joo kyle thisandthat

    Best Opening ever.
  14. Thank you, appreciating your support. Next lines coming up soon, so have a little more patience and you will be greatly rewarded.

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