Religious LGBTQ+ Folks

I am queer, genderfluid/nonbinary, and in the process of being confirmed in the Catholic church (long story on how I ended up there). Pride Month can be a lonely month for me because I feel isolated from the LGBTQ+ community for who I worship, and from the greater Christian community for who I love.

How are you all doing this Pride Month?

 

Messianic Jew who is gay here.

 

Hey, that's awesome. I struggled with being nonbinary in the Hare Krishna movement. Still figuring that out.

It's so wierd when people fixate over some tiny bits of scripture that affirm gender normativity instead of focusing on the essence of the teachings, which is more often than not transcendental compassion.

I am a deeply spiritual, even religious person, but the culture around religion is often so conservative. It's made me isolate a lot from my faith and community, it sucks.

So, that's awesome your getting confirmed, congratulations! I hope you have supportive community around you.

 

Oh and also yah on the other side of it, for some reason the local queer community is cringed out by my spirituality, so yeah it really is an all around social purgatory.

 

Sorry to reply three times in a row but I really just relate very hard.

 

I'd love to hear more about your experience in the Hare Krishna movement, as I'm only vaguely familiar with it. And thank you! My parish priest is vocal about LGBTQ+ folks being welcome, and I'm out to the few friends at my parish I have with no blowback. If they have any reservations about it, they've thankfully kept it to themselves.

 

How's your experience been in the Messianic community? Are they affirming, non-affirming, or is it a mixed bag?

 

That's actually lovely to hear! Always good when the 'leader' is an ally. It really sets the tone for the whole congregation.

The Hare Krishna movement is a branch of Hinduism, which has a very diverse set of traditions within it but as a rule tends to be rigidly structured on matters regarding gender. However, the people who started the Hare Krishna tradition 500ish years ago said some very liberal things about the equality of all living souls, and in many ways the people who made it a global movement in the 1960s were the same. However, in practice, there is always a lot of tension between the conservative sensibilities and the radically liberal conclusions which have often been taken from the key teachings.

For example, during temple services, it is expected that men stand on one side and women on another. Where do nonbinary people stand? I've been called out during service for standing on the wrong side. So I just act like my birth sex now when I'm at the temple.

The only other Hare Krishna I felt safe confiding in about it really didn't understand either, even after repeated explanation. Calling me by my birthname, 'he-she' instead of 'they'. And even she was ousted from my local temple community for being to vocal and liberal of a leader as a woman.

I just hardly ever go to the temple anymore, honestly! Patriarchy, am I right?

 

Frankly, the only Messianic church I attended was the one ran by my parents and they are very much against the LGBT community. The only reason I attended was because I was still living under their roof. There are a few accepting churches around my area.

 

'BookOfOlives', may the peace of Christ be with you.

I'm Zen Buddhist. Our Third Precept (one of our sixteen vows) reads; "I resolve not to engage in improper sexuality, but to be caring and responsible."
What is "improper"? Buddhism is founded upon the principle of ahimsa; "non-harming"; ubiquitous to the sutras are admonitions to refrain from harming any living being...including yourself. The "four abodes"; loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity are highly valued and encouraged. Therefore one can extrapolate that any sexual activity that is harmful; to others or oneself, would violate the Third Precept. I think of this in terms of exploitation; not just the common examples of rape or child molestation; but any relationship where one is indifferent to the needs of the other person, or attempting to get their needs met at the expense of another...essentially masturbating using the other person's body. Relationships, sexual or otherwise, should never be predatory. Conversely, if it's a mutually "caring and responsible" relationship, then it's considered prima facie to be upholding the Third Precept; no questions asked. The gender identity or sexual preference of either party is completely irrelevant, and doesn't enter into the equation at all.
In a broader sense, "not engaging in improper sexuality" also means not weaponizing someone's sexuality against them; not causing alienation, discord, and separation either within their sense of Self, or within our sense of community by "othering" people. Pursuant to our Mahayana vows, we are here to heal such wounds, not inflict them.
Part of healing such wounds is keeping in mind that many of the folk who are hostile towards religion have been grievously injured by religious institutions at some time in their past. They're in need of understanding, compassion, and tolerance as well; whether or not they're at a point in their lives where they can extend to us the same courtesy.

Metta Sutra

 

Thank you for sharing, Piobaire; this is fantastic! More of life in general could benefit from the lived principle of ahisma.

 

I expect there are a lot more LGBT people in churches than is ever known or acknowledged.

 

It seems rather silly that so many religions frown upon sexual expression of just about any sort, let alone such (perfectly natural) "transgressions" such as LGBT identity. Religion is a choice, but our sexuality isn't - it is part of our identity, of what makes us the individuals that we are. One cannot dismiss their very being only to placate the whims of religious dogma - that would lead to further suppression of one's true self, and that's something that I believe most faiths would see as a negative if they just came to see things logically. There are many, many more religions out there than just Christianity or Islam, or any specific sect of theirs, so it is absolutely possible to be religious while also being LGBT - and to be proud of it, as well!

The beautiful spectrum of human sexual expression deserves to be held in the highest esteem, perhaps even as sacred, so it's a bit heartwarming that at least some congregations have become more accepting of it as of late. Sexuality, both as an identity and as an experience, can (and should) be used as a powerful instrument in service of the divine! Why would anyone choose to willfully suffer from having conflicting emotions in regards to their sexuality and their religion? Be joyful, be exuberant, be proud of who you are (or who you desire to be), because you were made this way! Because the heavens enjoy nothing more than to spread joy across the world - to make others happy, as well as your own self!