Just entered into my first fuck buddy agreement in almost 10 years. I'd forgotten how much fun it was but I want to share my thoughts because I am very out of practice. We are friendly but he is not my friend. We met online as friends and about ten days later entered into an agreement. I am self conscience about parts of my appearance, but I think there are things he is self conscience about also: his height, receeding hairline. Those things don't bother me and he knows this, and he doesn't seem bothered my my hang ups. This is a confidence booster. But I do want to take a bit more pride in my appearance. I think he still has a few people he chats to online as I'm sure he did before I started chatting to him and that we may never have actually met had we not agreed to be fuck buddies. And I'm glad we did. I know the rules and I am not looking for a relationship with anyone, as I don't think he is either. He mentioned to me in our online chat that he'd never had a fuck buddy and was very keen to do it with me. He has shared openly with me the sexual acts he wants to try and many sexual stories. He's a nice guy, a bit shy as am I, and when we talk (by talk I mean small chat) we seldom make direct eye contact, that part worries me the most, makes it feel too detached, but I think I put it down to early nerves. We've only met up three times so we are still in the speed wobbles stage. Especially me, as I'd not had any sex in two years previously. We are both in our thirties and there is a lot we both haven't tried sexually. I often have concerns, usually that I am good enough until I remind myself that this guy has actually asked to have sex with me on a regular basis. I remember reading somewhere that when a guy wants to have sex with a girl he honestly does and if I feel good about it so will he. If I start to show doubts then so will he. I think any fears I have are all in my own mind. I shouldn't be worried. I don't think I should. As long as I stick to the rules, and we have great sex and and keep it interesting I think it'll be okay. He's a decent guy, and I am sure when the time comes to stop, he'll be decent about that too. I think I need to be confident and not be so nervous. I think I need to try to improve eye contact (something I don't do well with in general life anyway) As this isn't an emotional relationship, I don't think I should worry about silly petty things and instead be open and candid. I want to enjoy this and make it last as long as it can; and make him want to make this last as long as it can. Do any of you have words of wisdom to share that might help me be a great first fuck buddy for this guy?
The only thing you need care about his satisfying the flesh. His and yours. Work for the best orgasms, come up with new ideas, joke and flirt about it, make it happen, and keep all other things out of your head.
I think your intuition is telling you something. When two people don't make eye contact very well, it means something. When those two people are having sex, and not able to make good eye contact, you have to wonder . . . If you truly want this fuck buddy thing then things like not making good eye contact are not only to be expected but to be encouraged. The eyes are the windows into the soul, and you are in a relationship now where you explicitely forbid any access or communion of your souls. Just be sure it's what you really want.
I'm certainly not suggesting that you should call it off and rush in to marry him. I'm also not suggesting that you should "talk" about every single one of your feelings either. But, it sounds to me like you're policing your insecurities by saying "I should stick to the rules" and "he's just a fuck buddy I shouldn't worry about silly stuff like that." Or even, "I read somewhere that men are such and such." Careful you don't create such a Pandora's box that it's hard to put a lid on it. It's cool to know where you both stand and be on the same page, but I personally do not react well to labeling my relationships and strict rules. Whether they be caj or not. Other people might need that as a comfort blanket. I hope you feel your way through and good luck.
Cherea provided you with some excellent thoughts concerning your situation in my opinion. One of those is your concern for YOU. Indeed it's important to protect your feelings, but to say what Cherea pointed out, You not wanting anything emotionally tying you down could easily be you covering what your heart truly wants because common sense and your current life don't dictate its a good time for such a relationship! Another possibility could be that you haven't told us exactly why a Fuck Buddy serves you best i.e. to busy in life to be able to put the time and effort into it, you are married......etc. Just food for thought. My only other response would be to the eye contact thing. No eye contact most times means nervousness. While that could certainly be innocent, it points more to him being emotionally involved with someone else, married or otherwise. That may not be an issue for you, I don't know. Worst case scenario would be that what you have said here and what your true feelings toward having a relationship now, not being the same and he turns out to be in love with someone else. Wish you the best of luck, just don't give yourself rules that you can not follow while in the heat of passion!
